Unsure what to do!

[Airborne]

Well basically there is this friend of mine who I know is interested in possibly starting a relationship with me, and basically speaking I am somewhat unsure what to do about this.

She is a nice girl and all but I have some trouble talking to her at times as she tends to be a person of few words and when she does talk it tends to be on a serious note where as I tend to be more relaxed about things. Generally speaking I would prefer to go out with similarly relaxed and funny person.

The problem is I feel as if I could go out with her and we could both have a succesful relationship because she has many brilliant qualities about her, but this may not occur if I wait to see if she becomes more personable. I also think that if I can break her ice so to speak she could end up being far more friendly and not so serious.

So I am kind of confused what to do, if I did go out with her I may end up hurting her because she doesn't become a more relaxed person, not to mention I would have entered the relation with these doubts to begin with. Where as if I wait we could pass out an opportunity on having a loving relationship together.

What do you folks think?

[Modern Man Dan]

Hey there Airborne

Interesting situation.

If you don't change what you're doing soon, the chances of you two ever getting intimate will be minimal.

What seems to be wrong at the moment:

1. She is leading the situation (tip: it needs to be the other way around).
2. You need to realise that you can't bore a woman into feeling attracted to you. Learn how to make your interactions fun and interesting.
3. You need to be a man, and stop trying to be her male girlfriend. (Women don't feel a gut-level attraction for nice guys who want to be friends.)
4. Women don't feel sexual chemistry when you engage them in logical conversations. Emotion needs to be present.

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Dan

[Airborne]

lol I don't think you read the post dude.

I can almost guarantee that if I did enter this relaitonship it is a relationship I would be wearing the pants in!

[Asip4u]

You'll never know if you don't try. Also, how long have you known her? Perhaps she's not quite comfortable around you just yet.

[Tone]

Why not just try to keep getting to know her better, then?

Maybe she'll come out her shell once she feels a bit more comfortable with you.

I'd say - don't pursue a relationship just yet, try to keep hanging out and see how things go... ya know - go with the flow.

[shh!]

Hey there Airborne

Interesting situation.

If you don't change what you're doing soon, the chances of you two ever getting intimate will be minimal.

What seems to be wrong at the moment:

1. She is leading the situation (tip: it needs to be the other way around).
2. You need to realise that you can't bore a woman into feeling attracted to you. Learn how to make your interactions fun and interesting.
3. You need to be a man, and stop trying to be her male girlfriend. (Women don't feel a gut-level attraction for nice guys who want to be friends.)
4. Women don't feel sexual chemistry when you engage them in logical conversations. Emotion needs to be present.

Sign up for my free newsletter: [url]http://www.themodernmansite.com/[/url]

Dan

Not only this guy a newbie who didn't read your post, he also gave you misinformation about women, especially the part about no sexual chemistry coming from logical conversations. The brain is the ultimate sex organ. I vote you disregard his post entirely.

About your own problem, I can only say that I have never heard of a person who was able to inspire a serious person to become frivolous. I vote you should either accept her as she is, or leave her alone.

[Asip4u]

Not only this guy a newbie who didn't read your post, he also gave you misinformation about women, especially the part about no sexual chemistry coming from logical conversations. The brain is the ultimate sex organ. I vote you disregard his post entirely.

About your own problem, I can only say that I have never heard of a person who was able to inspire a serious person to become frivolous. I vote you should either accept her as she is, or leave her alone.

I totally agree with you shh!...That's why i'm wondering if maybe she's just not comfortable enough with him yet. Perhaps they haven't known each other long enough and she's still trying to get to know him before she does open up.

[shh!]

Could be, considering their ages, or she might just be serious by nature. Either way, I guess I become worried about people who take on other people as "fixer-uppers". It seems to rarely work out.

[Asip4u]

Could be, considering their ages, or she might just be serious by nature. Either way, I guess I become worried about people who take on other people as "fixer-uppers". It seems to rarely work out.

But what if you're trying to change them for good? ...Yea i worry about those people too, shh!.

[Airborne]

Well I have known her for about 6 months, gotta agree with asip thatbecoming more frivilous would have to be a change for the good.

The problem is if I wait she may think that she has no chance and move on, I don't paticularly want that to happen as I do see myself potentially having a good relationship with this girl.

[Asip4u]

You can decide to make things happen and she may lighten up while in a relationship with you however you have to accept the fact that she may not change anything about herself either. So the question is, would you accept her if she just stays the same? If not, i suggest you move on and look for someone who's more your type.

[Only-virgins]

I didn't read anything in this thread accept the title and the answer is ...If your unsure of what to do then dont do anything.

[Tone]

Then go for it, Airborne.

Wouldn't it be better to try and it fail, than to never take a risk and regret it for as long as your mind will disallow you to forget.

[Airborne]

Yea but if I do take the risk i may end up hurting her, that's what im afraid of!

[whaywardj]

Would you invest any of your money in a business about which you had doubts? Wouldn't you spend time resolving those doubts beforehand?