The Eagle Has landed and I feel like S@#$

[RuntimeError]

I am feeling very werid right now and just don't understand why This is how the story starts out, I was with this girl for about 3 years off and on, I was to blame for that I was an a**hole and wanted in but out. Well anyways one day she finds a new guy and it was a punch that dropped me.

Now that I lost her I wanted her back, I went nuts, ready to knock that other guys teeth out. I told him he was moving in on a weak moment he told me he loved her. Any ways I came to the realization that it was her choice and there was nothing more I could do. So I left them alone. Fast forward a year. Well Yesterday I bump in to her and we get to chatting I was kind of nervous at first but we decided to go for coffee kind of catch up.

Well we talk and maybe talked too much , she told me how the guy dumped her becasue she wouldn't sleep with him and how he pressured her to do physical things which she did but with limitation and that they were going to get married. Any ways I start feeling werid energy while she is tell me this, I don't know why I should give a rats a$$ less about it but I starting getting grossed out or hurt that she was intimate with another dude. I thought I was done with this Maybe I still like her, jelouse of that other **** smoker, guilty of not treating her better when I had her so she woldn't have gone to the other guy? I don't understand why I am feeling this way, I just don't understand. Has anyone gone through something like this? Oh yeah me being an idiot was touchy feely and I did try to hold her hand with not much success, maybe I had expectations? That the things would be like they way they were?

"Spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for a brake that would make it ok" NOT that this is a second chance to be with her, but I have been waiting for a day to reunite with her as a friend at the least.

PLEASE ANY COMMENTS HELP.

[chelsee]

it sounds pretty confusing, you did take her for granted and you got upset when she left you for another guy. are you just jealous? or are you in love. i guess you should look at how you feel when your with her, and how did you honestly feel when you saw her again?

[chelsee]

oh, here is another thing i have learned, if you are in love you shoul feel good when your with her. not jealous or not like shit.

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Thanks for answering Chelsee, but the thing is I haven't seen this person in over a year. And it was very nerve racking seeing her at first. How can this be love? And besides she is differerent and so am I. If this was my so called "Soul Mate" how come she took off to be with some other dude then stick with me? You know my heart aches but I have no idea why, I wish I could just forget everything I had been through with this person. She comes back one day and my whole world is turned upside down that is not right? Possibly one of two things I am a weak person or two the feelings aren't dead, but I hurt soo much from what I did and the choice that she made, that I truly thought. Done!

[gHEXjt]

oh, here is another thing i have learned, if you are in love you shoul feel good when your with her. not jealous or not like shit.

Yeah, but what if she doesn't feel the same way and you know you can't have her. I still love my ex, and its been two months since she left me, and I found out last night she was with someone else and it crushed me. It hurt when I saw her last and we weren't together anymore because I knew she didn't want me anymore, so how could that make him feel good. Especially when she's talking about being intimate with another guy. Just knowing that is happening is enough to hurt me and piss me off to the extent that I would like to go find the guy with a baseball bat, pretend his body's a tee, and knock his ****in head off.

I understand what you're going through man. Bottom line is, if she doesn't want you anymore and you still want her, then you don't want to be her friend. Seeing her and talking to her will continue to hurt you.

[chelsee]

oh god, my bf does that to me all the time, when we first met he would tell me how his wife would tie him up and crap. god that made me mad! i felt like what do i need to know that for? i think it some kind of stupid mind game they play cuz their feeling insecure or something. what da hell? anyways she should have been more focused on you and how you were doing and stuff? was she caring to you at all? i mean did she ask you any question about you? was she happy to see you?

[RuntimeError]

Well here is the thing, I don't know if it is that I want to be with her as stupid as that sounds. I don't respect what she did at all. She really dickked me. But that is besides the point. I have forgiven her. And maybe she dosen't want to be with me, but if she did I would be hurt that she went with another guy then came back to me. But I suppose if I have truly forgiven then it wouldn't hurt me I would see her as a new person. Man this is sooo damn confusing.

Oh yeah and gHEXjt am I was so ready to knock is teeth out, but you know I came to the realization you can never make someone love you.

[RuntimeError]

oh god, my bf does that to me all the time, when we first met he would tell me how his wife would tie him up and crap. god that made me mad! i felt like what do i need to know that for? i think it some kind of stupid mind game they play cuz their feeling insecure or something. what da hell? anyways she should have been more focused on you and how you were doing and stuff? was she caring to you at all? i mean did she ask you any question about you? was she happy to see you?

Yes she was, I don't know even how we got on that darn topic. But I think now soo many guy have ****ed her over, yes I am shamed to say it me being one of them that she is done. And not that she didn't f$$$ me over in the end. I mean I was pretty intimate with her just about 1 week before I find out she was with this dude.

But yes she did ask about me what I have been up to so on and so fourth. So I don't think she had intentions of hurting me she was just telling me her story. I think I took it as I need to be the macho man protector and I felt really sorry for her who know if she was all over me or more recptive to my body language, I may have been hooked but she seemed very neutral. I just don't know what the heck is going on inside me. I left the shop feeling like some one had thrown a big ball of werid energy??

[chelsee]

ok dude than cool your jets a little bit. sometimes girls say shit to guys to see if they still care. not to try and make them jealous and shit. just to try and let them now that the guy they were with treated them like shit! she might have just been trying to figure out if you still care about her. man you two are confusing as hell, but i"m just trying to give you some ideas on how girls think. hope that helps a little.

[RuntimeError]

Well I think I have figure it out I waaay over analyize things and I think I feel responsible for her getting screwed by this guy. Even thought I have nothing to do with them. Maybe I drove her to go with that **** sucker. Ohh the guilt.

[mini696]

I don't know why I should give a rats a$$ less about it but I starting getting grossed out or hurt that she was intimate with another dude... ...I don't understand why I am feeling this way, I just don't understand.

Because you think of her as your property.

Mick

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You know Mick I think you are right, I think of her as mine which totally sucks becasue she isn't, but how the hell do you get out of that state of mind?

[cheazypeaz]

same state of mind i have, cant wait to hear the answer..

[chelsee]

if you are a jealous person it's just gonna cause alot of problems in the end. you got to learn how to trust your girl. if your being all pocessive she's gonna run the other way. in that case can you really blame her i mean really who want s to be treated like their property. common guys you wouldn't like it if you were treated that way either.

[RuntimeError]

Thanks for the info chelsee but for my buddie and I the tracks have been already laid. We are now out of relationship I am pathetic for over a year, and I still think she is mine this is nut, I would like to know how to get out of that state.