Friend turned into girlfriend, turned into ex girlfriend, possibly back to girlfriend

[kvnband]

I am in quite a predicament here, and I'm hoping that you can help. One of my best friends all through high school was a girl. A beautiful, funny, witty girl, whom I felt comfortable with, and we just meshed together. During my senior year of high school, I finally got up the guts to ask her out, and she got a huge smile on her face and said yes. We were together for two weeks. Our mutual friends (also girls...I've just got that personality that draws them, I guess) basically drove us apart. They convinced her that she didn't know what she was doing, dating a friend. Last night, I visited her at her college, and while she was in the bathroom, I found out from our mutual friends (who are now very OK with the idea of us dating) that she can't date anyone at her college, because she keeps comparing them to me, and none of them are even close to what I have. Like I said, our personalities just match. We can sit for hours on end, just talking about random things, and be perfectly content as long as we're together. To get back on topic, when she returned from the bathroom, they told her that they had told me, and she got very flustered. We all went to a movie and she and I sat together and snuggled...It was nice. I did not have time to talk to her about it before I had to leave because there were constantly people around. After I left, she told our friends how mad she is at them for telling me about how she feels. I'm very confused about the whole situation. I would call her, but she is currently busy (will be until tomorrow). In my eyes, I really think she still likes me (she even went as far as using the word 'love', which, again, is fine with me...she is great..I've known her for four years, and love her to death). But if this is the way she feels, why was she upset with them? I realize that the best way to figure this out is to talk to her, but right now I can't do that, and I'm hoping to get some advice, and possibly help out other people in the same situation.
Thank you

[Chreeeeeestoh]

I'll need to see a picture of her because I can give you good advice.

[kvnband]

yeah...right, that's funny. If anyone has any serious suggestions, please reply.

[shh!]

If you are going to separate colleges, perhaps she is not interested in dating you at this time. Just a thought...

[Elven Lied]

If you are going to separate colleges, perhaps she is not interested in dating you at this time. Just a thought...

About that, my best friend got married right after college was over. She met this guy at her college during her sophmore year. In one month, they were going out. She changed majors and transfered to another college. As soon as she graduated, him and her got engaged. He was an accountant and she went into law school. It's a really cute story because he helped make law school alot easier for her by pulling in two jobs so that she didn't have to worry about money during law school, and so she can focus on her studies, and now she makes much more than him, so he basicly does accounting for fun, so I guess it all works out. After her first year as a lawyer, they got married.

I always ask her how they managed to stay together that long. To me it almost sounds impossible, to be able to endure something like college and professional school while in a relationship. But their personalities just matched.

Back to the original question, you know how she feels about you. She can't even see anyone else, because she's made up her mind about you being the one for her. The reason she's upset is because she didn't want you to know, because maybe she didn't know if you felt the same way about her.

Just by looking at your attitude, you seem to like attention. If I was her, I wouldn't want to let you know right away either. But if you really love her, and you really want her back, and want to work through the distance, listen up.

You have to stop acting like you're 16. Yes, her friends like you, but you like her, and she loves you, to the point that she can't even like anyone else. I would call her up, and even if you can't talk to her, just tell her that you feel the same way, that you want to work through it all, and that the distance doesn't matter. Let her know exactly how much she means to you. At this point, she needs to hear that. She needs to hear you say that. If she doesn't, you'll never hear "her" tell you how she feels.

This is your chance to either have what my best friend has, which is beautiful, or to let it all go, so that you can try your chances with someone else. It's up to you.

[RoxyFoxy]

she makes much more than him

What is that about? And you said he does accounting for fun? Why doesn't he get his lazy tushy up, and make some more money. Accountants don't make bad money you know.

[Elven Lied]

What is that about? And you said he does accounting for fun? Why doesn't he get his lazy tushy up, and make some more money. Accountants don't make bad money you know.

I've met him, and he's a really nice guy. He's very sweet and they both love each other. Trust me, they're both really well off. More money is the last thing they need. Besides, they spend alot of time with one another, and they only have one baby at the moment. I don't see why either one of them should be worried about money.

It doesn't bother him at all that she makes more than him. He's actually really happy for her. My boyfriend is happy for me to, but he gets down from time to time. I guess it's that whole male macho thing. But back to the question. Nobody is talking about money here. We're talking about a personality match. And if she really love him, and he feels the same way, then he needs to stop acting childish and playing games with her, and he needs to tell her that he loves her the same way.

I know it's hard for guys to commit. The thought of being with the same person forever just sounds like hell. I think the same thing sometimes myself. But if you really love her, then there really shouldn't be anyone else you're missing out on. And if that's the case, then how can you even waste the chance of a lifetime you have to be with her? Go call her right now and tell her!

[RoxyFoxy]

Quite right there. If you really love her, it's not fair that you mess around with her feelings like that.

Right now she's confused and thinking how you feel about her, if you feel the same way, if it's worth it for her to still love you, or if she should just move on. The more you wait, the more at risk you are of having her change her mind about you. Is that really what you want? I agree. Give her a ring right now! The first thing you should say when she picks up is that you love her. Everything will just happen from there on.

[kvnband]

The first thing you should say when she picks up is that you love her. Everything will just happen from there on.

Thank you for that line right there. That's a great way to start out the phone conversation I think. As to playing with her feelings, I'm not sure how I'm doing that? Last night, I really wanted to stay over at her dorm overnight, but I had to bring a guy back to my college so he could go home. I talked to one of our friends just about an hour ago, and she said to call her after the football game tonight...that she really wants to talk to me, so I will try to update as to how it goes. BTW, if anyone is interested in the whole story, feel free to search for all the posts by me..I've only created two other threads, and they both outline what has happened in this relationship.
Thank you again everyone.

[kvnband]

I've met him, and he's a really nice guy. He's very sweet and they both love each other. Trust me, they're both really well off. More money is the last thing they need. Besides, they spend alot of time with one another, and they only have one baby at the moment. I don't see why either one of them should be worried about money.

It doesn't bother him at all that she makes more than him. He's actually really happy for her. My boyfriend is happy for me to, but he gets down from time to time. I guess it's that whole male macho thing. But back to the question. Nobody is talking about money here. We're talking about a personality match. And if she really love him, and he feels the same way, then he needs to stop acting childish and playing games with her, and he needs to tell her that he loves her the same way.

I know it's hard for guys to commit. The thought of being with the same person forever just sounds like hell. I think the same thing sometimes myself. But if you really love her, then there really shouldn't be anyone else you're missing out on. And if that's the case, then how can you even waste the chance of a lifetime you have to be with her? Go call her right now and tell her!

OK, I understand now how I'm messing with her feelings. She is getting a phone call tonight. I've poured my heart out to her on more than one occasion, but I think now that she realizes that she really may just love me, my words will have more of an impact on her.

[RoxyFoxy]

You sound like you feel the same way about her. And i'm really happy for you. I really am, and i'll tell you right now, that even though you might not be ready for anything serious, the two of you would make an amazing couple.

Now, let me let you in on a little secret. Girls don't make great buffers. If you told one of her friends something. She might be manipulating the information to either win your favor, or to make her lose interest in you. You said it yourself, her friends like you. Do you really think they care how you feel about her? Or that if you told them, that they'd run and tell her? I don't, lol.

You just need to call her and do what elven lied said. That really is a great line to start off with.

[kvnband]

Just a bit of an update..

I called her about 30 minutes ago to talk about things, but I could hear people in the background, and didn't want to put her in an awkward position. So I told her to just call me whenever she wanted, even if it was late. Then her dad took the phone and told me I was a great guy (her parents love me to death, but I think she has said something to them about it). She asked what I wanted to talk about, like she really had no idea, sooo, I guess we'll see later tonight.

[Airborne]

Well personally I think she does still like you, but she may be afraid of what happened last time reoccuring again.

Can I suggest go for it! Do not let your friends get in the way, it is your love life, not theirs. Different colleges may make it hard to keep in touch, but if you are both fully commited it should be no problem.

[kvnband]

Well, she called me...at about 2:00 this morning. It's funny, because my phone said it was her, so when I picked up I said 'I love you' and she also said it at the same exact time. I guess we both wanted to clear the air. She says that maybe last time we moved too quickly which is what freaked her out a little bit, so she wants to go slow so that there's no chance of ruining the relationship again. She really wants to be together. Hopefully this time it will all work out for the best. Also, her college is 45 miles away (only 30 minutes via the interstate), so visiting her won't be a huge problem. The problem is getting money for the damned dates :-)
Thanks everyone for your help.

[Tone]

Good luck dude, I like sweet little stories like yours.

Hope it all works out.