She won't admit her mistake

[dprelz]

My ex dumped me a little over a month ago. She left fast and didn't really try and solve the problem. She just ran away from it and hoped it would go away. Lately, she is starting to deal with it(the first 3 weeks were a joke) and no contact happend for like a week. Then she phoned me and said she is confused and doesnt know what shes doing. meanwhile ive been trying hard to get her back pretending like it's my fault when in reality it is hers. The first problem she had with me she left, she didn't even tell me, she just left.

She is surrounding herself with friends and keeping busy but I know that is just so she doesnt have to deal with it. When she is alone she cries and tries to call me (i usually dont answer). I know without a doubt that she will regret her decision, and I've been trying to make her see before its too late. I don't want her to bother me in a years time when her next relationship fails because the guy will definately not compare to me. I'm not a cocky person but I know i treated her like a queen, and there are a millions things she will miss (she knows that).

I've somehow refrained from telling her off and telling her just how ****ing stupid she is and how influenced she is by her slutty friends and thinking "Freedom" is happines. I did smother her and my expecations were high. But I admit my problems and try to solve them.

anyways, apparently im going to see her for the first time in 3 1/2 weeks on friday and she seems already dissinterested. I just want to tell her to **** off, but for some reason I cant.. I am a forgiving person and if she just admits it we can go on..... Im a ****ing idiot aren't I?

[TAVS]

Sorry dude, just cause you think she's made a mistake doesn't mean its true. That's something you're going to have to accept, it's hard, I'm in the same place.

[dprelz]

Well there is no scientific way to prove she did.. so my argument will always seem weak. But it is pretty obvious that on some level leaving without trying or without giving the person a chance or notice is a mistake..

On the other hand I hope I'm wrong and this is the best for both of us. But somehow I know she will be knocking on my door in 9 months when I'm with someone else and everything will be 200x more ****ed up than it is now. But I guess that's her.

[Tone]

If you feel that way then why did you put all the blame on yourself? You just made it easy for her, LoL

Should have put your foot down and been honest.

[dprelz]

Dude that is the problem.. I was honest, the first couple weeks I thought she left because of me and then i realized how ****ed up she was in the head... I don't know shit.. she could be going out every night and getting gangbanged by 50 guys, how the hell would I know?

[gHEXjt]

If you want to tell her to **** off, you should. Not in those exact words, but in some way. I'm in a similar situation with my ex and just the other night she called to check in on me, i.e. have I slept with any other girls, and yes, that is the first thing she asks me each time she calls. I just told her that if she won't be with me, than I shouldn't talk to her anymore because her calling me all the time was making it much more difficult to deal with trying to get over her, which hadn't been going well. Just be gentle with her if you can't bear to act like a huge dickhead. That's how I felt, so I told her as lightly as I could. She tried to argue with me, but I just stayed calm, laid out my reasons, and she really had nothing to say except that she thought we were friends. Which then I acted like a ****in dick and told her we weren't friends, our friendship went out the window the night she came over and did the deed with no warning and then left about 1 minute later without giving me any reasons. If you don't want to seem like an ass, be gentle, and break it to her. If you feel you got a raw deal, then telling her to leave you alone shouldn't be a big deal.

[dprelz]

Well I just did it, it was kind of harsh but I just got sick of it. She didn't give me 10 minutes of her time since she left and she is just lying to herself. What a weak ****ing person she is. She thinks the problem will just dissapear. I tried to work it out at LEAST to see if there was something to salvage but she didn't even want to do that. I'm stronger than her and more honest. She doesn't deserve me, I gave her a million chances and she doesn't admit shit. Well.. nothing I can do. i tried. On to living the bachelor life and ****ing girls and ignoring them after.

[TAVS]

Woah there. Dude. You did the right thing. That sounds about like where I am now. But don't let this broad sour you from other women. No need to be an ass to future prospects.

[dprelz]

It sucks being the "nice guy" because no matter what happens you are going to end up being the one who gets hurt. No wonder so many guys just want sex, the rest of the stuff has so much bullshit attached to it.

[Late_vamp]

hey man , your story is like 90 % accurate to mine , anyways , i think we all live these things at least once . its funny how some girls are , they need friends to keep it cool but the second theyr alone they break down so easely . then they see you or someone from your family and they act all different then how they feel ... ""freedom"" girls are the dumbest , they think party's and clubbing is what life is all about ... that's the kind of girls that i dance with , get down with and ditch after ...why ? cuz theyr such B.I.T.C.H.E.S ... and thats what their good for , now gimme a good girl that knows how to treat a man good , being sincere and ill try to stay with her as long as possible .

[dprelz]

Yeah exactly. It is so stupid because no matter what I say she can't see it. She thinks that freedom is going to make her happy. Well you know what, some girls wait there entire life to find a guy that treated her like I did and she threw it away.
Now, If i could just stop obessing over how much I miss her than I would be a happy camper :0

[Late_vamp]

Yeah exactly. It is so stupid because no matter what I say she can't see it. She thinks that freedom is going to make her happy. Well you know what, some girls wait there entire life to find a guy that treated her like I did and she threw it away.
Now, If i could just stop obessing over how much I miss her than I would be a happy camper :0

one day she 'll realize and regret what she did , in the mean while you'll be with some other girl treating her good and having a good time . what goes around comes around , its karma . just think about that . You might feel like crap now but later on she 'll be into some deep shit and you'll be there having a blast with your special someone .

PS: what might make you forget her is finding more friends , going out , and try metting some girls , even if your intentions are to not go out with them ,

[Mish]

Hi dprelz

"On to living the bachelor life and ****ing girls and ignoring them after."

Umm, yeh becareful with that. It's very easy to destroy or crush your future prospects acting this way. There are many girls out there who are "Nice girls", who would NEVER hurt a guy the way your ex did (And the way my ex did as well). I know because i met some of these nice girls, i think they don't deserve the harsh treatment just because your ex turned out to be a *****.

I know from personal experience it's sometimes not easy to get the balance right after being dumped (especially in the manner that you were dumped). It's very hard to rediscover that emotional intimacy with another girl, all attraction seems to go straight to physical. But it is something you will really have to work on. It's almost been two months since the time i was dumped and although i am busy at dating i still find it hard to have that 100% trust in the girl i am with (Always, there's that nagging thought in the back of my mind will she treat me the same way? She didn't return my message, is there something going on? Is she really worth it?). It can be very hard and frustrating at times, but in the end rebuilding that trust in yourself for other women is really worth it (I wish though i was making a better progress myself - sigh)

You know, the more i think about it, the more i come to a conclusion that so many thing in a relationship with a woman really depends on yourself (How strong you yourself are, how intelligent you yourself are, how happy in life you yourself are, how affectionate you yourself are). I so far i found that all above act as a kind of a magnetism, the more developed your personal traits are the easier it becomes to attract the right person and keep them.

Anyways, hope above helps!!!

[dprelz]

yeah it helps, thanks for all the help.
Actually, I don't mean that at all. I am a nice guy and I can't change that. It's just really difficult to move on because I was 100% sure she would be loyal and honest, because well.. that's what I am. It's unfortunate that it ended up like this and we probablly won't be friends now.. seems like a waste of 3 years.

It's not the end of the world but it sure feels that way.

[Ellynn]

Why take the blame when you know it was her fault? If a girl treats you like sh*t give it right back. (Thats my philosophy anyways...w/guys or girls.) Just please don't let it sour you against ALL girls. We all are not like that.....but it seems some guys who get hurt turn to just closing themselves off and fvcking anyone they can get a chance with. PLEASE DON"T DO THIS. You realize she was messed up in the head.....so THAT particular girl should be ruled out. Then on to another.

Yeah its hard to move on but you have to. There will be a nice girl out there.......and when you find her you will know...

And if she does come back in 9 months when you are with someone else....just tell her "oh well you had your chance and you blew it..sorry!" And move on....