Potential Means Nothing.

[RSK]

First of all, sorry about my post rampage earlier. I let loose again - I'll try and control myself next time.

It's just that I feel like a waste. I mean, I know I'm not - I have a lot to offer. It's just that I've never taken chances. How do you all do it?

I was never went to Prom, I never stuck out in the crowd (I know this may be hard to believe). But I feel I've always been 'behind' the shadows. I see how other people (my age) live - and I want that kind of life. I'm young, and I know it! But for some reason, I come off as a 30+ year old (probably).

I have Potenital - but that means nothing. It's no use to tell me to go out, and break the rules (I won't). I just havn't found my note yet - I've probably been playing the wrong instrument.

I've typed quite a bit so far - and it all seems like rubbish (it probably is), and I feel like backspacing to a clean slate, and starting all over - but I've come to far I guess...

...so I'll just continue my rant.

I dream endlessly in my mind; about trips to Italy, and seeing the mountains of the far east (bla bla bla) - but what's the point. I'm alone. Nobody to dream with. I keep waiting for something to happen. I am longing for adventure. I'm tired of playing with stick figures in my head. I feel I'm always misunderstood - maybe that's me puting unnecessary pressure on myself.

Sometimes I wonder, if there is a woman somewhere that REALLY understands what I'm talking about. I know I'm not unique, but I also know that there are not a lot of people like me. Most people fall under some kind of 'category', but here I am, out in the middle of nowhere, kind of like with no direction.

Well, I just want to fit in. I dream too much, and don't live them.

I'm the guy that writes the story book adventure, and it's the others that live those adventures. I guess I should be happy with what I've got. Not many people are fortunate to be in my position. The people that know me think I have NO worries in life, and that everything for me is 'set' - but that is so far from the truth. Again, I know I have Potential, but Potential means Nothing.

What do I have Potential for?

Well, first of all, I know that I'm a nice guy. I don't care what ANYBODY else thinks, whether they think I'm nice for 'selfish' reasons, or nice because it 'suits' me, or nice because I don't know how to be anything else. The truth is, is that I AM a nice guy, because it is my innate feelings that guide me to act in ways that are socially considered, 'nice'.

Secondly, I have a VERY creative mind. I don't know how to explain this, but I do a lot of thinking, and I think that's what deters others from me. I guess I'm too hard for others to 'figure out', and they don't waste their time on me. I don't blame them. I internalize A LOT. I think from inside, not outside. I hide emotions very well. I have a blank face - you'd never know how I feel inside in any given situation. I consider this good and bad. Bad, becaue I don't open up to others.

So, given these two characteristics, why is it that I have so much trouble in adapting to people, especially those my age? I feel too different at times. I just want the things they want. I like to party, I like to have fun, I like to joke, I like to go out, I like to do all these things, but I never express it I guess.

Why don't I meet chicks like 'other' regular guys? I don't know! I don't think I'm afraid (or maybe I am). I just don't get it! WOW! This is one LONG rant! If your reading up to this point, then I'd like to share something with you...why is it that certain people (such as yourself) care so much about what others write on this forum. There MUST be some kind of agenda, (but I can't think of any). Why would ANYBODY want to possibly read this rant, and then provide some kind of response if they feel the need to do so? Anyway, I just wanted to throw that in here, and let you know how cool I think it is, and how unselfish people like you are. Well, I'm gonna cover up this 'hidden' thank you note, for those who read this thread, because you probably read my entrie post (hopefully I didn't put you to sleep).

Potential means Nothing. And I'm living proof. I could've done so much with my life right now, and yet, I feel like I have accomplished NOTHING. I wonder how many other people feel the way I do. In my mind, I picture a certain life for myself, and I always wonder, why isn't it ME that lives that life? I know other people that do live that life. I guess I'll describe that 'certain life' later on, when I feel less like I do right now.

Well, I think I'm gonna wrap this up right now. So that's that.

In summary, Potential means NOTHING.

On a positive note, I'd like to think of myself as a snow ball, that's being 'pushed' to the top of a mountain cliff, and this snowball is getting 'bigger and bigger'. I'd like to think of the size of this snow ball as the 'amount' of potential I've been building for the past years of my life...

...and I'd like to think that I'm nearing the tip of the mountain, in which this snowball is about to be let 'free', and flow to the bast of the mountain. And this stage represents 'all the good that is about to happen in my life'. And as the snowball is flowing freely to the base, this represents what I potray myself as (well, 90% of the time) as RSK of LF. It represents my dreams, except this time, it's reality.

I hope I'm nearing the top of that mountain tip. I'm looking foward to the trip back down!

[dprelz]

Well you asked about a million questions but Ill give my opinon on some..

Are you feeling like this because you want to attract women or you actually want to go out and do those things? Why do you care what everyone else thinks or does? Do you think they are happier than you are because they go to italy, etc? They are just as lost as you my friend. Don't be depressed or think you are different, you are you. You will find a girl that likes YOU for YOU.

[RSK]

Well you asked about a million questions but Ill give my opinon on some..

Are you feeling like this because you want to attract women or you actually want to go out and do those things? Why do you care what everyone else thinks or does? Do you think they are happier than you are because they go to italy, etc? They are just as lost as you my friend. Don't be depressed or think you are different, you are you. You will find a girl that likes YOU for YOU.

i don't think my problem is attracting women...it's just that i find it hard to fit in.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Instead of analyzing life until its completely ambiguous and undefinable, just live it and be happy. You seem to be expressing the same emotions over and over as of late.

[Asip4u]

RSK, you are truly something. A lot of the stuff you mentioned above is exactly the same way quite a few guys including myself feel. You say that potential means nothing but potential means plenty my friend.

There are certain things that any guy can accomplish and isn't afraid to try however when you aren't afraid of anything like some guys, you can also become too predictable and uninteresting. There will be many who will try to convice you otherwise.


I believe it was Jeblina who posted a quote that went something like..."If you don't like something, change it, If you can't change it, change the way you think about it"...Not a bad way of looking at things. Look at your situation and do something.

Everything happens for a reason and you being the way you are is exactly meant to be that way. I wish you the best and i know good things will happen. Just be yourself and take some risks. Remember, if you have nothing to begin with, what can you really lose? Nothing!

[tooxshort]

every passing minute is a chance to change everything ...

just because you haven't accomplished what (you think) you should have yet doesn't mean you can't start at any given moment.

u praise and bash yourself at the same time ... be happy in your own skin ...

just LIVE ...

[Late_vamp]

i already said this and i will say it again , you need to start taking some risk , start making actions . enough talk , enought thoughts , just do it . So what if the cute girl at the bus stop refused your request for a date ... is the world gonna end? NO , snap out of your little bubble and just get your act up , walk into a situation and make something positive happen out of it .

i felt how you felt once ago , even many times . but i said to myself that i would have to stop making excuses for myself and just try it out , wether it worked or failed . and guess what ? it worked . thats how i got my first Gf.

also that whole snowball thing , i understand that , but just think that if you do succeed , youll do everything that you ever dreamed of doing ...for example : you dream of having a GF , how can you get one if you never try talking to one? then you try ... if you dream that when you have one , youll have some sweet love and kiss every single inch of her body , then make it happen .

its up to YOU to make things happen !

[misombra]

rsk-you do not come off as a 30+ year old. you sound like a teenage boy. you'll be able to use your potential. there will be more than enough things in life to put your potential toward. just chill, okay?

[Zekk_T_Strife]

rsk-you do not come off as a 30+ year old. you sound like a teenage boy. you'll be able to use your potential. there will be more than enough things in life to put your potential toward. just chill, okay?

I agree with this post entirely. Listen to misombra.

[Lloyd95]

But for some reason, I come off as a 30+ year old (probably).

Ha! On the contrary, I would have pegged you for some high school kid.

You need to go out and find some guy friends first. Just relax and don't go trying to find a girlfriend, that never works. You'll be happy enough when you have some close friends, then everything else will work itself out.

PS-I think you may be bi-polar.

[Tone]

RK, you're very unique.. LoL, so throw that out the window... you need to not only relax, but find some confidence in yourself! How's the job search going? I think once you start doing some more things on your own you will start to build your confidence more, cause it's no longer mommy and daddy taking care of you, but you taking that step of becoming a man and taking care of yourself - that's something to be proud of, and I think that will be a good start to you getting some more confidence.

It's good to stand out, no one should wants to be like everyone else. I would totally wanna chill with you IRL if given the chance. Like the others say, don't waste time worrying about how you come off to others, you are yourself for a reason, you are also yourself for the rest of your life, learn to appreciate that, love it, and live with it.

And I got your "secret" message hehe - for me honestly I use this place to pass time at work, but also to learn more and try to learn from others. I think it was misombra who once quotted "Learn from other people's mistakes, because life is too short to make them all yourself"

[TAVS]

Rsk -

You're too worried. Make a decision to get beyond this, stick to that decision, and make things happen. Stop saying I can't and say, I will.

[shh!]

:: takes a peek in and is very surprised by the number of people who actually read the opening post, considering its length ::

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Don't be fooled shh, I didn't read it. I took a look at the first few paragraphs and looked at how much was left and knew that he just needed to chill the goo out.

[Tone]

:: takes a peek in and is very surprised by the number of people who actually read the opening post, considering its length ::

I'm head of the RK Fan club, 'course I read it!!