Why is it always so hard?

[cheazypeaz]

today, i really feel like crap.

it seems me and my girlfriends relationship is getting very difficult.

at the moment i am very tight on cash, all the money i have goes into fuel mostly to go over to her house.

Anyway, the main things bugging me are:

my girlfriend is really ill, apparently she isn't allowed to have sex (she has an eye infection god knows why the doctors said that), although this has no resembelance one the relationship. it is worrying me about her infection .

I feel like when i go round her house, its too often, i dont really feel comfortable staying there 3 or 4 nights in a week, which is sometimes what it is. Although it dosent stop me (because we like to see eachother alot) i feel we are seeing to much of eachother and her parents are getting pissed off that i stay so much. when i stay there its not really a case of her asking her parents if its okay. because its so frequent (if you understand me there)

her brother had a punchup with me (purely his own fault) we haven been on speaking terms and its really awkward for me when he is around. today, to make matters worse, i needed to get back home before 5 to pay for some bits on ebay, as i need to get them to get my bike on the road. and i couldn't, my girlfriend suggested i use her brothers pc. so i used my clever trick and logged in via CTRL+ALT+DEL as administrator on the logon screen, and used the internet for about 10 minuites. i did nothing more than i needed which was pay for an item on ebay. He apparently was fuming, and he sent me a message over MSN saying that he was really pissed off with me and i deserve another punch. i know i should'nt of used his computer without asking and i can see why he is pissed off i accept full blame for it.

apparently her step-dad wants a word with me, i dont like the sound of this. i really dont like the fella at all, he is known to be violent, not that i think he would be with me, but he has a very short temper. and the last thing i want is to be spoken to like crap and scared away from staying there.

All in all i dont feel comfortable going round there, and as me and my girlfreind have both mentioned to eachother, if it gets worse our relationship is going to have problems. I dont want that to happen.

anyone got any suggestions how i could resolve some of my problems....

spike.

[TAVS]

Ummmm. Very odd story you have there. Why do you have to hang out over at her place? Just cause she's sick? Can you be patient and then when she's better you two can meet somewhere else?

[cheazypeaz]

she comes over here too, but its harder for her, i have a motorbike she has none of her own transport. and because she is sick she wont get the bus.

in terms of my 'next visit there' im a bit worried.

what do you think i should do?

i feel im in a house with 2 people i feel are violent.. and dont like me.. and thats awkward.. its a bit clostafobic (sorry for my spelling)

[bluestrattos]

i think that in the next visit you'll have a double-barreled shotgun waitting for you at the door Just kiddin i hope

Anyway, what her mother says about the present situation ?

I think you really like the girl don't you? Any other guy probably would leave her.

Your situation it's not easy, but try to avoid possible hostile situations, at this moment your situation will not improve if you open your mouth to fight back. I know it's hard but you must suck it up

In the end just ask yourself, does she deserve all your effort? Does she loves you? do you love her ?

[cheazypeaz]

i see where your coming from. alot of my friends have said this to me aswell, saying that i dont deserve to put up with some of the crap. but i am prepared to make the effort. sometimes i feel i dont get any support from her with my efforts which dosent help.

I dont know what to do, i dont really want to see our relationship end. but sometimes i feel like its the easiast way. then i run in circles. i dont really want to be without her. she shows me love and affection, buys me clothes, spends alot of time with me. gives me good sex, lol.

Im really confused right now, writing this message is going to end up a pile of rubbish if i keep typing.

[bluestrattos]

I think your relationship it's crossing a terrible phase! And the biggest source of troubles comes from outside of the relationship. It's very hard right now, but think how good can your relationship be after all the troubles went away. You love her, she loves you, nothing else matters. Hold on to your love right now, see these problems has a test to your relationship!! Don't give up! Good Luck!

[cheazypeaz]

i'm just sick to death, i seem to have an extremely active personal life, nothing seems to be 'routinal' as such, something different happens every day, and i cant live an easy life, its just stressing me out to be quite honest.

I dont need the hassle right now, i just got nocked off my motorbike again the other day so have to sort that out, she wont bother her arse to come over and see me. and i really cant be bothered to go and see her. i'm just going to let her sort out coming over here, not even ask her.. see how long she goes without seeing me, or asks me to see her etc.

I think that might show just how much she cares to be with me, i really cant be bothered.. infact im not replying to most of her messages because i cant be bothered.. i need to sort out alot of stuff round here!

[Mish]

Hi cheazypeaz

Not good, not good at all.

As a prelimianry step i would try to eliminate the primary source of discomfort. How likely for her to move in to your place? Okay, i guess the two basic questions that will follow this one are 1. Do you love her enough to live with her? 2. How old are you and her?

If above is not satisfactory i'd have a word with both Father and Brother and find out what is the source of grief. Personally i would handle a conversation like that in a very proffesional manner (With even minutes of the meeting). I would take all issues and grievances her father and brother have with you on board and try to improve on them (Otherwise you risk getting yourself into nasty escalations). I'm not quite sure if this is the best advice. Personally i never ever had any problems with my girlfriends parents or relatives.

Hope above helps!!!

[cheazypeaz]

i am looking for a flat, for us to move in. as her living here is not practical due to her college commitments. besides, we are both young and in education living with parents, i live with my mum who i doubt would allow it anyway.

if we can move in together, i really think things would improve, none of this bullshit of if she is coming over or not, etc. if you get me. no parents to worry about, no geting home to worry about.

i'd just be worried we would see to much of eachother, or do you think the relaxed environment would help?. i was considering asking another couple to move in aswell, and then we would be able to pay the rent easiar.

SPike

[Airborne]

Then simply do not go around there so often, if her family life improves it will improve her attitude and her parents, or meet at a different place. Try to stay bright about things, though you may not feel it it will help you both stick together through a tough period.

[cheazypeaz]

last night didn't really help my matters. although i feel on slightly better terms with her lol.

anyway, she called me at about 1am and asked me to go over, i said i couldn't be bothered, but she said she wanted to do things to me i wouldn't really want to mention.. and that she had half a bottle of vodka. so i went over drank the vodka, had a good time and came home at 2pm the next day.

i think i just showed im a pushover lol!

[TAVS]

Man, you got some action, who cares.

[cheazypeaz]

me.. because now she dosent wanna know.. going out with her mates is more important than coming to see me as she promised.. well i just told her not to bother coming over and to stop using me for sex, as thats how it feels now.

[Maleber]

Man this sucks, just stay together till the eye infection ends, then see how she goes about around you then, then you can tell if its worth it to stay with her or not.

[cheazypeaz]

dont feel like typing an essay now, but i'll make it quick.

on the thursday, she had said she will come over, and i left it at that . went home and the next day she said oh im going out with my friend to get my jacket and a cd out of one of her friends cars. i'm already feeling pissed off that she didn't come over. and as i said up there, told her not to bother coming over etc.

later on i rang her and asked her if she would come over, i was sorry etc, just i felt that way and couldn't help but let my feelings out. she agreed to come over, asked her friend for a lift. and said she would give me a call when she was on her way. although she didn't have a time.

come 12pm i realise she probably isn't coming and i get a text message, saying that she is back at home because her friend who offered her the lift was tired and couldn't bring her. i thought this was a joke to get me back for the message saying not to bother. but then realised that she wasn't joking after she didnt talk for half an hour. then asked me if i was annoyed.

so what did i do. told her exactly how i felt.

"of course im pissed off, youve broken yet another promise, wound me up, **** off, cunt."

maybe thats a bit harsh, but when she got paid today and said that she would come over regardless of how she had to come over, she had been offered a lift of my brother, and can get a taxi etc.

I'm now really pissed off, just want to tell her the relationship is over. 7 months or so we have been going out, and i really feel like the only thing that outweighed the good over the bad was the sex. thats what was keeping me there i guess? ..

But i really feel unappreciated, unrespected and let down by her. and dont think i can take any more of this.

Can someone please lead me in a good direction, i do understand people arent going to know the entire relationship. but what would you do.

Thanks,
Spike