man, this crap is gettin old

[chelsee]

hi all, i've been dating this guy for several months now and my family really hates him. I have to sneak around and lie everytime i want to see him and it's gettin really old. i hate lying to my parents but i really like this guy alot and i have never had those kind of feelings for a guy before. my dad says if i keep on seeing him he will disown me and so will the rest of my family. none of my family has even tried to get to know him, they hate him because of what they hear not because of what they know and they don't like the kind of work that he does. what should i do?

[Tone]

Why don't they like him?

What have they heard about him? And how do you know what they heard isn't true?

[chelsee]

they don't like him because of the job he has, he is a truck driver and he stays out of town alot.... they think he has a girlfriend in every town. their stereo-typing him because of what he does for a living.

[TAVS]

My dad is a truck driver.....what a lousy father.
Don't know what to tell ya dude. Chances are your family isn't going to change their mind no matter what you do. How you deal with it....I dont know

[Lloyd95]

They say the older you get, the smarter your parents become. And speaking as a parent, it's true. Believe it or not, they probably know what's best for you, unless they're totally lousy parents.

I doubt youd want to risk your family for this one guy.

[carpflounder]

Stereotypes can be unfair but they also tend to be true. My gf's dad is a truck driver and he is a lousy father and he was a bad husband.

On his truck trips he pissed away his money on crank and on prostitutes. His ex-wife noticed that a lot of money was going nowhere. He also beat his ex-wife too. He had a heart attack at age 50, and the moron still drinks a bottle of wine a night, and still smokes at least a pack a day.

When my gf calls him.. he is usually past out, or at best he is barely coherent.

Even if this guy is nothing at all like this. Do you want a husband who will be gone for weeks on end? Do you want the father of your children to be gone for weeks on end?

Think about it. Your family is your family forever. He is just a truck driver.

[shh!]

They say the older you get, the smarter your parents become. And speaking as a parent, it's true. Believe it or not, they probably know what's best for you, unless they're totally lousy parents.

I doubt youd want to risk your family for this one guy.

I agree with this post. Your parents have invested a lot of time, love, care and support in you. Naturally they want what is best for you, and usually young girls like yourself are so blinded by love that their judgement is seriously impaired. Listen to your parents; it will save you a lot of misery in the end.

[singularity2006]

I can atest to that situation (I do exactly what u do including sneaking out and lying about it). But I beg to differ in that I think that they have valid points but I still think that given time, she is a lot better than they think. Do you see any points in this guy that you think will be able to support u in the future? More importantly, do u see yourself able to support him in the future if anything happened? What characteristics are there that you believe may actually benefit your family? Can you separate infatuation from a logical approach to this relationship? If you can clearly and unambiguously separate the two, then u might have something going for you. But only MIGHT.

[Ellynn]

Even though it seems totally unfair.......when it all comes down to it.....your parents only want whats best for you. (I would worry if they didn't care). So respect them......they know a thing or two about life.

Bf's come and go.....but thats your blood....your family. Why turn against them for some relationship that is not guaranteed to last.

[Mish]

"my dad says if i keep on seeing him he will disown me" by chelsee

Like WOW, slow down sister. Something somewhere has gone horribly wrong here if things have gone to THAT level. I think it's time for some serious reflection. If he was really that much of a nice guy and your family hates him based on nothing but discriminatory basis (Such as he is a truck driver NO truck drivers or he is an intellectual NO intellectuals) then there is something really wrong with your family!!! Maybe they have been hearing too much gossip. Maybe it's time to set some facts straight. How likely it is to get both him and them together for a serious get together and seperate the fact from fiction? How old are you and him? What is your dependancy sistuation? (Dependant on your parents?) How comitted is he to you? I can tell for a fact that situation you are in is VERY serious and requires immediate steps towards resolution.

I will require some replies for further assisstance...

[singularity2006]

i didn't see the thing about truck driver. personally, i think there's something wrong with truck driving because of their prolonged stays away from any single location. Subtract truck driver and I'd tell u to work things out somehow. Otherwise, I'd be kind of cautious...

there's just a lot of weird logistical issues with that career... u won't be happy.

[chelsee]

thanks for the advice. i really don't no what to think i'm kinda torn between what my parents are telling me and what my bf is telling me. my bf does do alot for me, sometimes a little to much. but to be honest there is alot more to this then what i have said.