Sticky situation....help!

[Lloyd95]

Don't you have horses?

don't horses=Big$$$?

don't babysitters=Little$$$?

[Jeblina]

I don't know why I thought you were in your mid-thirties, and I have to say that teen drug use doesn't necessarily put you into the same category as an adult addict would in my mind. That being said, I would still advise you to be careful, this guy HAS used with you before, and is behaving suspiciously at times.

Can't your mom keep your little girl while you date? Or is she just not that kind of mom?

My mom does watch her about 3 or 4 nights a week (SOME weeks) when I go out to take care of my horses (and my boyfriend lives about 5 mins from where my horses are...so that's where we normally meet and hang out). When I actually want to go out on a date night, my mom will watch her......but normally when he and I "plan" a date night, something comes up (he gets called into work, etc.)....so we just hang out now...and if we get the opportunity to go on a "date" we do...but that doesn't happen often.

Yes...teen drug use is VERY different from adult drug use....thank god I got clean before I got older (I know I'm not THAT old anyway....but some days I feel like it)....but drug use is still drug use in my mind....especially when someone has to go to a rehab program for it.....mine was more than "experimentation" that normal teens do.

[Jeblina]

Don't you have horses?

don't horses=Big$$$?

don't babysitters=Little$$$?

Yes I have horses.....but....::blushes:: my dad is paying for them right now while I'm going to school.

[Lloyd95]

Yes I have horses.....but....::blushes:: my dad is paying for them right now while I'm going to school.

Have any sisters?

[Jeblina]

Have any sisters?

No...I'm an only child

[Lloyd95]

No...I'm an only child

Hey, me too!

[Jeblina]

Hey, me too!

I hated being an only child when I was younger...but I appreciate it at LOT now...there are a lot of advantages to being an only child But.....how does this relate to my situation?

[Lloyd95]

I hated being an only child when I was younger...but I appreciate it at LOT now...there are a lot of advantages to being an only child But.....how does this relate to my situation?

It doesn't

[Jeblina]

Ok...well we've established whether or not I have siblings....but in the meantime...I'm still stressing out about my situation! I just want to know what the next step is for me.......

[Lloyd95]

Ok...well we've established whether or not I have siblings....but in the meantime...I'm still stressing out about my situation! I just want to know what the next step is for me.......

Ok Jeblina, here is what I would want to hear from you if I were your boyfriend:

"I was very happy the other day when you told me you loved, as I feel the same way about you-I love you too. And I care about you a great deal which is why I'm going to say what I'm about to say. I thought I noticed that you were high. If you weren't, fine. Maybe I'm being paranoid about it b/c of my previous addiction. However, because of that addiction, I think I know the signs (list signs here).

Since I care about you, and love you, I want to help you overcome it and get help... we can beat it together; I did, so I know you can too, as you're as strong or stronger than I am/was. Also, you have your beautiful daughter to think about, just as I am constantly reminded by my own daughter, what a good choice I made by being drug free."

On the lines of that.

[Jeblina]

Ok Jeblina, here is what I would want to hear from you if I were your boyfriend:

"I was very happy the other day when you told me you loved, as I feel the same way about you-I love you too. And I care about you a great deal which is why I'm going to say what I'm about to say. I thought I noticed that you were high. If you weren't, fine. Maybe I'm being paranoid about it b/c of my previous addiction. However, because of that addiction, I think I know the signs (list signs here).

Since I care about you, and love you, I want to help you overcome it and get help... we can beat it together; I did, so I know you can too, as you're as strong or stronger than I am/was. Also, you have your beautiful daughter to think about, just as I am constantly reminded by my own daughter, what a good choice I made by being drug free."

On the lines of that.

Wow....that's really good...because that's pretty close to what I was thinking about saying. I just don't want him to blow up and run off again because he thinks I'm "accusing" him...rather than just asking, or being concerned.

The problem now is how to go about talking to him....I haven't talked to him since the blowup on Saturday night.....I've stopped trying to call him so he could have a "cooling off" period. So what's my next move? Do I wait for him to call me? Can I try calling him again (it's been a day and a half since I tried calling him)? I may have to go up to his work today to buy supplies for my horses (but would really like to avoid that at all costs if he's not speaking to me....I don't want to be smothering)......I just don't know the best thing to do....this is all new to me.......

[Lloyd95]

I would definitely call him. guys don't always like having to make the first move, or initial move like this. We're usually just as unsure as women, if not more so.

Go over and see him (about the horses or whatever); ask him if you can go over to his place after work, it's on his turf and he'll be more comfortable. Then plan on bringing dinner or a hearty appetizer and maybe some wine or beer with you. When he first sees this, he'll be thinking to himself, "Ok, she wants to hangout for awhile, not some quick "I want you to do this and get help with that blahblahblah". Also will show that you assume everything will turn out ok.

Get freshen up before hand (horse stink, yuk) but don't go to a public place ie restaurant, bar. It will place undo strain if things get heated.

[Jeblina]

I would definitely call him. guys don't always like having to make the first move, or initial move like this. We're usually just as unsure as women, if not more so.

Go over and see him (about the horses or whatever); ask him if you can go over to his place after work, it's on his turf and he'll be more comfortable. Then plan on bringing dinner or a hearty appetizer and maybe some wine or beer with you. When he first sees this, he'll be thinking to himself, "Ok, she wants to hangout for awhile, not some quick "I want you to do this and get help with that blahblahblah". Also will show that you assume everything will turn out ok.

Get freshen up before hand (horse stink, yuk) but don't go to a public place ie restaurant, bar. It will place undo strain if things get heated.

HAHAHA...horse stink huh? Not your cup of tea? Well he works at the biggest feed store in the area...so he's used to it I do think it sounds like a good idea though....going over to his place.....and not showing up empty-handed like I just want to get it over with and be done with it.

So you think that I've let enough time pass, and I should try calling him again? I mean, when I tried calling him almost 2 days ago, he wouldn't answer my calls. And if he doesn't answer my calls today, and I have to go up to his work.... .....what should I do/say? I feel like I'm walking on eggshells here with him!

[Lloyd95]

Definitely call him; or go to the store. Ask him if he has plans for after work, then say, "No? Good, I'm going to stop by at (insert time here)". give him enough time to go home and change (horsefeed stink, yuk), but not too late where he would have eaten or gone out.

You may want to add in your conversation that this whole experience is new to you; and you're just trying to figure it out as you go. I would like to see a little insecurity in women, as it shows their vulnerable as well. It's sexy, cute, and it helps with a guys ego too. As I'm sure he's a more "macho" type since he works in a feed store etc. Kinda "cowboy studliness".

Oh, and I don't think horses "stink" per se. But I'm not sure if it's a sexy smell on women.

[Jeblina]

Definitely call him; or go to the store. Ask him if he has plans for after work, then say, "No? Good, I'm going to stop by at (insert time here)". give him enough time to go home and change (horsefeed stink, yuk), but not too late where he would have eaten or gone out.

You may want to add in your conversation that this whole experience is new to you; and you're just trying to figure it out as you go. I would like to see a little insecurity in women, as it shows their vulnerable as well. It's sexy, cute, and it helps with a guys ego too. As I'm sure he's a more "macho" type since he works in a feed store etc. Kinda "cowboy studliness".

Oh, and I don't think horses "stink" per se. But I'm not sure if it's a sexy smell on women.

Ok......I think I'm going to try calling him right now...he's at work...so he might not answer.....I'm nervous.....LOL

He's not a cowboy by any stretch of the imagination...and sometimes, I think that I have more testosterone than he does (he's a cuddler, and all around really nice guy.....I can be that way SOMETIMES....but not all the time).....but he is a guy's guy I've made sure that any time anything was akward or strange, I told him to just ignore it because "I'm new to this".....it always did seem to help the situation...whatever it may have been.

Oh, and it sounds as though you need an invitation to actually SEE if you think that it's a sexy smell on a woman