embarassing

[cheazypeaz]

hi everyone.

i kind of have a problem, since my girlfriend came back from holiday (almost a month with no sex) i came like almost straight away. i felt stupid, but well i guess its because i havent had it for so long, correct?..

anyway i thought nothing of it, but weve had sex about 4 times since she has been back, and every time its been so quick.. i dont like this at all.

is there anything i can do, to help this?

[Aaron Blanc]

It's called Premature Ejaculation. It is nothing to be emarassed about. Most men suffer from this problem. The length of time before the man will ejaculate from the time he will engage in penetration, is an aquired skill and is a controlled reaction that will get better through time. You may want to spend more time during foreplay. Foreplay is a very important part of sex. If you spend too little time in foreplay, you are being selfish. What you are doing is keeping your level of excitement in it's high, and not spending enough time to bring your female partner up to her excitement level. By doing so, you are making sex enjoyable only for yourself, while not doing the same for your partner. The opposite is also true. If you spend too much time in foreplay, your excitement level will go down, and it may be hard for you to enjoy sex. However, your female partner will enjoy sex much more, as her excitement level will be much higher. Foreplay should be timed right. Do not listen to anyone who will try to give you medication for your problem. The simple way to fix your problem is to time foreplay right. This way, you can both enjoy sex. If this remains a problem, you may want to take turns having sex. Make sex focused on only one of you, and then the next time, you can make sex focused on the other person. This is common in couple's theropy with a partner suffering from PE. You will find that when you spend more time during foreplay, your sex drive will actually go down a great deal, making it impossible for you to enjoy sex. This is good, since the focus is to try and please your partner. The next time, it is only fair that it be your turn. You can even skip foreplay if you'd like, but in minimizing the time you spend in foreplay, you will enjoy sex a great deal more, even if it means that you will be done in a very short time. Do not forget, you are not timing yourself so you can show off to others, you are enjoying yourself in front of your partner. Many people are under pressure when having sex, because of how their preformance will be reflected and shared with others. Do not try to think about this. Sex is a private activity, and nobody else's business. You partner will be more than flattered to know that she can make you enjoy yourself so much, that you simply can't hold it in any more. After all, that is the reason you are done fast anyway isn't it?

[cheazypeaz]

well yeah she is really fit, i dont want to be big headed but she has the perfect body, not ONE bit i dislike, so it does kinda make you feel that your having sex with a gorgeous person = cum quick.

however, this hasent really allways been the problem, i used to be able to last for about 30 mins if i got the timing correct.

ive tried all kinds of things, one thing that i found working was just as you feel it about to come out, grab my penis, and then it kind of hold it for about 10 seconds, you can almost feel it cumming, but it dosent. and you can keep going for about two or three times as long.

is this ok to do this? i tried it today but caught it late and it just went everywhere lol

[Tas]

u seem to have similar problem like me, I tend to cum very quickly the 1st time, but at the 3rd time I can totally control it and last for long. My solution was handjob and blowjob for the first 2 times and then just give my best to please her Holding, grabbing etc always had unpleasant effect for me. Hope it helps

[Aaron Blanc]

u seem to have similar problem like me, I tend to cum very quickly the 1st time, but at the 3rd time I can totally control it and last for long. My solution was handjob and blowjob for the first 2 times and then just give my best to please her Holding, grabbing etc always had unpleasant effect for me. Hope it helps

I still do not understand why you would do that to yourself. The point of sex, is not to last the longest you can, but for both people to enjoy it the most they can. Unless you're keeping score, from a third person point of view, you should also be enjoying sex. I know many people who will dread over the idea of having sex, and not enjoying it at all. This problem is very common in women, who have sex with their partner only to see them orgasm, and then stop sex completely. This is very frustrating to women, who will not admit the problem to their partner directly, rather share it with friends or keep it to themselves. I have met many women who talk about sex with their partner and begin to cry at the mear thought of it. I have also met men who do the same. You have to ask yourself. Do you want to be someone who enjoys sex, and doesn't think about holding back, or do you want to be like those men who have sex and do not enjoy it at all. My cousin has told me that he has had sex with his girlfriend, and out of the 8 times, he did not ejaculate once. I must say, sounds like nothing is wrong, but he was furious. After sex, he became silent, and very emotional, he even started to cry at the thought that he was about to finish but he was simply left hanging, so to speak. Is that really how you want to remember the sexual history between you and your partner? I believe that you should stop think how long you can last, and try to enjoy sex as much as you can. If you feel that by lasting longer, you are giving more pleasure to your partner, you might be wrong. I do not last long at all myself. Yet, I find many ways around this problem. Even when i'm done first, which is almost always, I force myself to take the time and make certain that my wife gets the same pleasure from me. It's all about keeping a healthy balance, and if you do, then there is no reason to worry over who finishes first.

[Tas]

Eh? What? What was that? I really got tired by your reply simply because you made conclusions by just 2 lines from me.

I might exagerate (most of the times it's the 2nd time) but who told you that whatever you say does not exist in my relationship ? And who told you that the duration does not matter ? After all my way works for my relationship (and I know others too) and how can you tell that my girl faces these problems with me ?

Let me inform you that by doing what I suggested gives you more control and more time to spend on actual sex (whether this is foreplay, games or actual act) so both can be very satisfied. In case you don't know it takes more time for women to come to orgasm than men and also they can have multiple orgasms, so men really need to do their best because it's easier for them to ejaculate. This doesn't mean in any case that I worry for sex (how did you come to that conclusion?) on the contrary I enjoy it more.

I don't deny many women have such problems (men only wants to ejaculate and that's all) but I also don't deny that duration and size is as important as the way you enjoy sex and there're people doing it nice and others really stressed. But really why do you give this lesson to me since you dunno me and it doesn't give anything to the forum? How is this goig to help cheazypeaz who obviously comes often because he likes her and missed her sex and wants to pleases her that's why he makes this post?

[Aaron Blanc]

It was actually ment to help only you Tas. For the record, it is only more common that women take longer to orgasm than men do. Don't forget, there are always exceptions to this rule, and roles sometimes may be reversed. After reading your rather blaze' post, I do agree with your outlook that men only want to ejaculate. The pleasure for both sexes, during sex is so minimal during intercourse compated to the actual orgasm. No matter if the couple wants to admit it or not, the orgasm is the epitome of sex. And if possible, men would like to be able to have multiple orgasms for one simple reason; that would mean more ejaculations, which would be more pleasurable. However, men must "reload" after each ejaculation for a period that may not exceed 25 minutes. But please tell me this; if there was no taboo on male ejaculation, would you not want to ejaculate multiple times during sex? I know I would. If you want to admit it or not, ideal sex would consist of nothing more than the payoff, which would be the orgasm, for both people. Imagine that after only half a minute of sex, both partners have an orgasm. Just think about the gratification, the reduction of the risk of a heart attack, and the now imagine that you would be able to have an other one just a minute later. If find myself older now than what I was before, and so being the case, I get tired much easier. Sex takes alot out of me, and sometimes, I may not even get the chance to ejaculate. I remember the most horrible day of my life, and it wasn't when my car broke down, or when I had to pay over $4,000 in bills with $80 in my account. It was when me and my wife had sex for close to 20 minutes, but I simply could not ejaculate. She tried everything, and I felt like I was ready to, but it just wasn't comming out. So I resulted to pleasing her, and giving myself some time to desensitize. After my wife had orgasmed, litterally, there was nothing more than cuddling. As much as I wanted her to try again for me, I simply couldn't say anything. It was painful afterwards where your testicles feel bloated, I think it's the worst torture in the world. I would have rather just ejaculated over and over again, than have to go through that one time. Now, everytime I finish early, we have a mutual understanding that sex isn't over, so me finishing early isn't a bad thing anymore.

[RoxyFoxy]

I disagree with Aaron. I would like to be able to orgasm from sex. If the guy is done before I am, how will I orgasm from sex? Oral is great, don't get me wrong, and there is nothing like being finished off by your man, but i'd like to have an orgasm from sex once in a while. I think out of all the orgasms i've had, the ones from sex are by far the best.

If the guy simply doesn't last as long as it takes, then he's not pleasing his woman.