Physical VS Mental attraction

[Ellynn]

That happens a lot. My mom has a number of tubby divorced friends whose ex-husbands are now remarried to, or dating, babes.

I think, also, that men who stay with their wives in this situation sometimes do so for the sake of the children, or out of a sense of duty. Don't expect these guys to be giving their wives unsolicited comments on their looks. Both partners must be living lives of "quiet desperation".

Yeah its too bad guys don't be the ones to have kids. Then maybe they would see how it is to have their bodies stretched abnormally and then be expected to be back in shape after shoving something the size of a watermelon out the opening of something the size of a lemon. And afterwards its not always that easy to get back in shape right away.

[carpflounder]

I've seen both cases. Mothers who stay/return to shape. And mothers who stay obese. To each their own I guess.

[shh!]

The men I have been most "taken" with have been - objectively speaking - somewhere between average and unattractive as far as looks were concerned, but there was something beautiful and dignified about their being simply human in their imperfection. We are ALL flawed, although some of us wear our flaws more visibly.

For me (and many women) love/lust/infatution is almost entirely mental, and you see plenty of attractive women on the arms of lesser-attractive men. I don't know how much physical attraction is required for men; perhaps it is really individual. You will probably have to decide this for yourself.

[artyemi]

for me, a lot of times, i will look at a man, and say he's cute. but that's just all. no physical attraction, don't want to get with him or whatever.

and i don't know if getting to know them attracts me to them more. i don't know. i don't think i've been around enough men to judge...

most of the people i date are for stupid reasons, like everybody has a boyfriend, this guy likes me, i might as well date him.. most of the time, it's like well, he likes me and i don't think i can do better... of course, they usually don't last very long. i've broken up with everyone i've ever dated...

[bluesummer]

I think physical attraction plays a huge part in a relationship....but like many people here have said, physical attraction is partly mental. I'm sure more than a few of us here have dated peopel we initially didn't find attractive, but after getting to know and love them, found them irresistable. I agree with shh that this tends to be more in the case of females than males.....men have always been very 'visual' creatures....

Give her a chance. But at the same time, if you find you are seriously not attracted to her to the point it affects the relationship in any way (including physically) then I suggest you move on. There's no point dragging the relationship on and living a lie. Women like to know their partners find them attractive, and if she thought you didn't, it would probably crush her.

[Reverb]

I've decided to continue with things. There is just too much there to ignore. I'm not going to ruin a possible good thing over shallow crap.

[shh!]

Keep us posted. You sound like a nice guy - I hope things work out for you.

[misombra]

very good.

[Asip4u]

You guys are pathetic...This shouldn't be an issue at all. I find women who are around average weight or a bit more, sexier then those skinny types. TV is messing up your brains!...sombra, lmao on the "wrinkly ass"

[shh!]

Good god, Asip! How can it be that you're not taken yet??

[Asip4u]

Good god, Asip! How can it be that you're not taken yet??

Went through too much crap, shh!...And honestly, not rushing to be with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship...Been there, done that.

[shh!]

Smart guy! But the girl that let you get away must be kicking herself...

[knowwhatimean?]

I think when it's right you know and you follow your gut. The rest is the reality we create for ourselves. As a gentleman you might step aside sooner rather than later. It's nobodys fault, in fact it's good to know yourself, so trust your instincts and be kind and let her go. Don't break her heart.

[Asip4u]

Yea, saw her at a mall few weeks back but was too uncomfortable talking to her after not speaking for such a long time.

Reverb,

Most times people have to go through something negative to learn their lesson and see the clear picture and sometimes there are those who can see it clearly the first time around. I'm not sure how many relationships you've been in but if you truly cannot see past this and you're going through with it anyways, you could only end up hurting her. Some people can do it because that's how they've always seen things, while others it takes time, and then there are those who cannot stop being idiotic no matter what.

[Tone]

You guys are pathetic...This shouldn't be an issue at all. I find women who are around average weight or a bit more, sexier then those skinny types. TV is messing up your brains!...sombra, lmao on the "wrinkly ass"

Seriously, I can't stand that skinny skinny crap... I saw Hilary Duff on the MTV award thingy (was lame btw) last night and wow she looks HIDEOUS now that she looks like a walking skeleton.. I have on clue how these people can look at themselves and think that it's attractive...