Well i know this is a love forum but since some ppl here are good in giving advice i decided to post this here . I finaly talk about after years of abuse.
So this is how it goes , ( BACKGROUND of story) I am the 5th child from my mother . I'm the youngest (18) and i have 3 sisters and a brother , the oldests of all of us is gonna turn 31 soon. My mom had us (all 5 of us ) with 3 different men , not on the same time . One died after she had 3 kids then moved on to another , then he was a drunk abuser and back then ( my mom is gonna turn 53 years old) i was hard to find condoms and pills without ppl knowing and thinking they were whores .Then she met my dad and they had me . BUT after i was born she started to regret being with my father and started hating him and me being his seed also ( what a crazy ***** ... i was innocent ) .
So as i grew up , she always treated me different than all the 4 others , not big differences but slight things like she would blame ME for EVERYTHING. They were able to get away with anything . anyways , as a child i got abused i lots of ways... verbally and physically...many more but NOT sexually by both my parents and Bro & sis. me being the youngest i coulnt do shit against ppl 10 y older than me back then.
I got beat by LOTS of objects for making a small mistake that every other child would have done . I got the electrical cords , the belt ( not the nice soft leather part but the buckel...wich made me bleed about twice ) wooden bars , shoes , fists ...whatever LOTS of things.
I grew up in the kind of upper Ghetto parts of my city (montreal , CANADA). anyways , basically i had a way rougher life than most of the other kids , not only did i have to deal with my crazy parents( they used to fight EVERYDAY and STILL do...my mom even stabbed my father acouple of times this one day) i ALSO had to deal with all my stupid little BASTARDS of sis and bro ( they really are , theyr fathers are dead ) we werent raised to be known as half-brother /half-sis ... but i know that behind theyr minds and specially my moms they ALWAYS but themselves different ... always putting me apart with my father ...everything he used to do wrong they used to say *both of you* instead of just being him . Dont get me wrong, i still hate the old ****** but i hate him ALOT less than my slut mother .
anyways , i grew up , always apart in some way , different , always an outcast . i was always more mature than all the other kids and even to this day from ppl my age ...WHY? because the closest person i could relate to was 5 years older than me and the rest were 10 , 12 and 13 y older than me and they were all crazy sons of A ***** .
Anyways
Now i'm living only with my parents in the house , im 18 and theyr telling me to pay for some bills (wich are THEYR responsability as a parent ) and they STILL give me childish rules and other shit . I'v been paying for my OWN things since i was 15 ( thats not even legal age for working here) and they havent bought me shit except for my B-day and Xmas wich is EXTREMELY cheap (like total of 50 $ per holiday/anniversary...thats a 100$ per year ...dont forget this is canadian money wich is cheaper than the US)...and 2 times for a bus pass and food (of course , they have no choice but to bring food for theyr own house ) THATS IT.
I dont ask them for NOTHING ...no cloths , no stupid crap ( cd's , tv ), no games no nothing ,nada , rien , niet . ALL i ask for is to be left in peace and for them not to bother me and my privacy ( they tell me to do chores around the house when they know i work 40 hours per week (20h while in school) , go to school for 24 hours per weekdays and STILL have friends /homework/girls to balance and they expect me to clean the whole house top to bottom and renovate the damn house )
i tried talking to them and yelling , SCREAMING to the top of my lungs till my voice was shot out ( for 4 hours ). i even tried writing to them and they wont listen to me . back when i was 15 they even sent me to a shrink(psychologist& psycho educator one after another) to see if i was insane or schitzo ... well truns out im smarter than the average person and im totally GREAT as a person . My mom even had my dad go to a shrink and he was fine ... i told my mom maybe it was her that was crazy ...she just walked away as usual.( i think shes insane)
( the point of this thread...PRESENT)
I came home today at like 9;40 of the afternoon and i asked them to shut off the light from outside because everytime someone opens the door a whole swarm of bugs go in the house and on your face/body . so once i saw this , i went inside and shouted(they were somewhere far in the house ) are both of you just idiots or your just not capable of shutting a light off.(i know what you might thing , that i just started bitching ... but they SCREAM at me EVERYDAY for no ****ing reason ... i was raised that way(even tho im ONLY like that to my parents) so a buch of shit starts happening and my moms says that if i dont change my adittude in one year im out of the house ...i asked her howcome? how can all my other sis and bros wich did things 10x worst than me be able to come and go and I get KICKED OUT??? I basically told her to go eat shit, **** off and that they were bad parents and they were insane (in spanish ...im not american).
So now my question is , should i
1: Give them HELL and completely DESTROY everything they have as a payment plan for EVERY LITTLE thing they made me suffer since i was born.(i know its a bit immature)(remeber they ARE abusers) ex; my youngest sis once went a bit histerical and broke almost everything in the house...my parents dint do shit ...WHY? because its HER and its not ME as simple as that , just a choice of preference) and then leave this place and start new .(i know i sound crazy but i was thinking going all out if you know what i mean...hint ...su ..i ..c...and just letting loose before that )
2:Try to talk to them for the millionth time
3:just move out and never see them again(VERY hard *see note below*)
4:Try to change even tho i know theyll keep treating me like shit.
*** remember , im just 18 , havent finished my schooling (college, university)
i dont have any CLOSE friends and have a job that pays a BIT above min wage (here in canada min wage is 7,50$ ) dont own a car (i COULD buy one tho) no GF for now ... so just help me out plz
SORRY FOR THE LONG POST ...REALLY NEEDED TO VENT OUT