crisis! need urgent help!

[fear_21]

My gf came back from her Egipt trip yesterday. She told me about this cook, she meet there and he feel in love with her. She told him she has a bf(me), and hes very anoying. so first..i know she didnt cheat on me, but im still not sure about it for the future, i have my reasons for that not to trust any girl anymore. Second, he sed he will visit her next year here, so thats the part i almost lost my mind...i was driven mad! I almost broke up...im a preety jelous guy, i told her that and she knows that. Why is she doing that? I told her like, ok, u have our egyptian, so u dont need me anymore..and i didnt answered the phone for a couple of hours. She was almost crying...i realy dont like other guys meeting my gf, i rather breakup with her...i mean it. I know to what that leads, first they are like just friends, then they ****..., i have expirience with that. If shes with me, shes with me, and she has to stay off others. I told her that, she told me hes not bad, but i love you...my opinion of that...bullshit...dont believe that, i love her, and i would never meet another girl...no way, just cant do that. I feel so bad right now..What u think? tnx

[Ellynn]

Woah.....you sound pretty insecure. I mean just cuz this guy fell in love with her does not mean that shes gonna go for him. She even told him all about you. Mentioned that you were her bf etc. So she obviously likes you..

What exactly has she done to make you not trust her? Or are you just basing your past experiences w/ other girls on this?

Be careful what you do...cuz it sounds to me like now your pushing her away because this guy likes her and is gonna visit her. Can't she have a friend? Do you really not trust her that much?

If it bothers you so much let her know that you don't like that shes gonna meet up with him etc.

[Late_vamp]

man , she goes to another country and your not around her . Then she meets this guy , he falls in love ( in order to fall in love , one has to be pretty close to the other ) then he will visit her next year ...HOW??? does he have her address ?if she gave him her addresse and phone # then i would say she's planning something or she wants him in some way , if she wanted a friend then why coulnt she just get one where she lives instead of some random guy from a different country ... you cant really have friendship over another country , unless she said something like ...look i have a BF right now , but if he's not around next year , then your welcome to come visit me ...

Personnaly thats what i think from what i understood what you said . and in YOUR shoes i would ... ask her to tell me the WHOLE truth because its hurting me and i'm starting to lose trust and trust is a MUST in a relationship . BUT talk face to face ...not on the phone ( its easier to lie on the phone) ... go see her , at each others place and ask her ... just sincerely , and if something happened between them...what made the man love her?... remember you ARE her BF and i believe that a BF does have priority to know whats going on .

so unless she wants to brake up , shell tell you the truth . I know it sucks , the basic part of your story is almost the same as mine , but dont screw this up by losing control and letting your feelings take control ... remain calm and think ...it should be clearer.

GOOD LUCK and best of wishes .

[mini696]

I agree with Ellynn, your an insecure little one arent you. What do you expect your GF to do? You dont like it when she tells you about these things, and you dont like it when she doesnt. Wouldnt it be much better to know what she got up to instead of wondering (and usually thinking much worse things thatn what actually happened)?

If I were her I'd dump your ass for being so damn controlling.

Mick

[XPixiedustX]

I think your being really insecure as well, and really controlling...it's not fair to your gf that you trust her based on what u experienced in the past. If some girl broke your trust before doesn't mean your gf will too....you can't stop other people from liking your gf...but if she says she loves you then you are the one she wants to be with not the guy in egypt....

[Junket]

Are you ****in' kidding me?

You call this a "crisis"?

And why is any of it in need of urgent help?

You're overreacting.

[mini696]

I'm suprised you even let her go in the first place.

[fear_21]

tnx for the replays. I know that is wrong what im doing. I know i shouldnt control her...but...its just that damn feeling i have. Yes its true, my last experience was damn bad and i dont want to go over that again. Its just like last summer, the whole thing..A problem is, that my gf had just one guy before me, so she has no expirience...i know what i will do now...i will try to overcome that jealousy, not say anything to her...but i will find my own "friend" from nowhere...and i will tell her how much i love her, but i will meet my "friend"...so she gets an idea how i feel. I dont mean this as an counter or somthing...just u know...i have to do something damit!

[fear_21]

my gr before also told me she loves me and what not. I was believing her not to think about. Then she cheated onme and broke up because I WAS TRUSTING HER BLIND, AND DID NOT LOOKED WHAT SHES DOING!

[Ellynn]

Trying to find another girl to make her jealous ......not the best idea. It may backfire and she may just think.....well he has a friend so theres nothing wrong with me having one.

Did she actually tell you she loved this guy from Egypt? Or was it that she told u that he fell in love with her and that she told him she was with you. And is it just because your jealous that other people find her attractive that you think its ok to just treat her like crap because she told u about it?

Seriously I can tell how much this bothers you. If you hold it in your gonna do something drastic. I think its best to tell her how you feel. Tell her you feel threatened by him(which you do) and that you want her to be honest when you ask her how she feels about him. Be nice about it though.....don't go yelling at her in a rage. She will just see you as possessive and controlling. Just talk to her....ask her whats going on with this guy....ask how she sees him.... And when she tells you that she sees him as a friend(which Im sure she does) then you have to believe her. If you don't then obviously you have some trust issues you need to work out before getting involved with anyone. Cuz right now you are coming off as a controlling possessive psycho bf. Thats not cool......

[Ellynn]

my gr before also told me she loves me and what not. I was believing her not to think about. Then she cheated onme and broke up because I WAS TRUSTING HER BLIND, AND DID NOT LOOKED WHAT SHES DOING!

Just cuz one girl does that doesn't mean we all do it....! Don't blame all women....

My ex cheated on me online with his ex gf......and I found out after dating him for 9 months. Then he lied about it and I got it right from her that this all happened while him and I were going out. I had no idea. She did though....but she thought him and I weren't serious. Well when i confronted him he admitted if finally.....but it sure hurt me big time.....and I wasnt up for relationships for awhile after that.
But eventually I moved on. I learned that just because one guy fvcks up doesnt mean all men are gonna. You have to give people a chance.....everyone is different. I'm not stuck on what happened back then...I moved on. You need to move on......or else its best your not with anyone right now. Cuz you are just gonna push them away...

I look back on that pathetic situation I was in and now IM glad I found out. I'm glad things ended because obviously it wasn't meant to be. You just have to learn to trust again....which is not easy.....but you just do. Better to find out how a girl is before marrying her or having kids with her etc. And now you have someone else....and if you don't chill out....your gonna lose her too......

[Lloyd95]

but i will find my own "friend" from nowhere...and i will tell her how much i love her, but i will meet my "friend"...so she gets an idea how i feel.

Dude, how old are you? These sophmoric games won't work. You're a little insecure and need to work on yourself first. Or are you that ugly that your worries are justified?

[fear_21]

hey, im not ugly, i just dont want to be dumped, cheated or anything else that brings me down for 1 week. I just dont know what to do, i want an opinion from a experienced person here. Thank you!

[Lloyd95]

Hmmm...experienced person...I believe that would be LilWang.

Seriously, I'm guessing you and your gf are youngish, 21 (your screen name). If you're not ugly, as you say, then neither is your gf. So what we have here is a pretty 21 year old girl. she's going to get hit on! It's a fact of life, get used to it, or go grab yourself a heffer who will make men's eyes bleed, but hey, at least your insecurities won't be an issue, right?

She was honest with you and told you straight up what happened. She's not going to cheat on you bro. Girls's ego's need to be stroked just as ours, I"m sure it made her feel better about herself, albeit at your expense maybe. don't sweat it, trust me on this.

[Tone]

You're dumb.

I agree with Fras.