Here's my story......

[baadshah_007]

message has been edited for personal reasons

[shh!]

Baadshah - There are some significant cultural differences which would make answering you difficult for most of us, as I am assuming you are Indian. For example, it would be very hard for a Westerner to relate to a guy who proposes marriage on a first date (is that common in India?) and to a lesser degree, we are less apt to respect our parent's wishes with regards to our romantic lives. The best I can offer is that you might wish to talk with her about the depth of her feelings for you. It sounds like she likes you, but may not be willing to take it any further.

I am copying this response to your other post, but you ought to try to avoid double-posting... Good luck.

[Tone]

it was in my 1st year, i had a crush on one of my batchmates and i proposed to her at the first instant( i had never talked with her, the first i did talk is when i proposed her)

hahahahaha

[baadshah_007]

thnx people specilly 'shh' for replying,
u asked about the cultures of a gal in india?
well, about her i can tell that she is n honest soul, and will strictly abide by what her parents say. but tell u they r not bugging parents. they r nice people and do believe in love. but the main problem in a seroius relationship is confidence..how do i win her confidence? and u also said that she may like me but is not willing to take it any further...wht do u mean by that? is it that she does not want to get in a relationship with me coz she doesn't love me or what? well as far as my thinking goes, if u like like somebody, u will always want to get into a relationship with tht person someday or the other......so, this is confusing me....hope u do reply to my querry...

[shh!]

She may not want to be in a relationship with you for any number of reasons. First, I believe in India, there are still a fair number of arranged marriages going on, correct? Perhaps her parents have someone else in mind for her, and she, being a good Indian daughter, will respect their wishes, but doesn't want to tell you directly. Or, it is possible she has no romantic interest in you, but thinks you are a nice guy anyway, or it could even be something else all together. It is hard to tell without speaking to her, so I guess that is what you will ultimately have to do. You also may want to consider talking to her parents about dating her - they will probably be able to give you an idea about how interested she may (or may not) be.

As for gaining someone's confidence, well... I guess that happens when you continuously demonstrate your true nature (assuming you are a decent fellow). It takes some time to build up trust and faith in another human being, though, so don't try to rush it.

[XPixiedustX]

I read your post, and i grew up in india so i know how things are. But honestly just tell her how you feel. The thing is it seems as if you don't even know her too well. This is not sum hindi film..where the boy meets a girl tells her he loves her and then the get married....get to know her... win her over as a friend first, and then tell her how you feel. Maybe she's shy or maybe she's playing games, whatever it is if you want to win her confidence then you first have to win her friendship. Be mature when your around her and don't act "boyfriendy", it sounds like she likes you too..so just give her a little bit of space...

[baadshah_007]

thnx people for replying.
XpixieDustX, u mentioned that i don't have to act boyfrenly and start acting more like a fren...that's fine.but what shall i do after that? do i ask her?and another thing. what made u think that she might like me...another queer question plz don't mind..ur a boy or a girl..i asked this coz girl's have a totally different mentality...hope 2 hear from u soon.

[Tone]

She's a girl.

[XPixiedustX]

thnx people for replying.
XpixieDustX, u mentioned that i don't have to act boyfrenly and start acting more like a fren...that's fine.but what shall i do after that? do i ask her?and another thing. what made u think that she might like me...another queer question plz don't mind..ur a boy or a girl..i asked this coz girl's have a totally different mentality...hope 2 hear from u soon.

yea i'm a girl...and what i meant was first you win her trust by being her friend, and once you two are close...and you have a better idea of how she feels about you...you can tell her that u like her and want to be in a relationship with her. At that point she'll probably be more comfortable with you as well. And i got the feeling she likes you because of the way she seems to be responding to you.

[baadshah_007]

thnx pixie,
i would immediately start acting more appropiately......but time and again i will do need ur help...

[baadshah_007]

hello pixie,

i am badly frustated with this thing called 'love'. it just sucks the juice out of ur brains..don't mind of the stuff i've written coz i m totally drunk today.
actually its my love which makes me do so..
i think u remember my story. i'm frustated coz i can't make out of what she(my gf) thinks ofme. u call it that she may be interested in me..i don't find it anythin of that such. u know when we have our clinical classes in our small batch of 4 gals and 10 guys, she doesn't even look at me forget talking. God!she doesnt even care if i m there in the class or not.
but again in the theory classes we have where all our students r present (about 120), she keeps on looking at me from diff angles(thats what my frens tell me. i tell u i ve 1 very close fren and he never lies). even i ve caught her many a time lookin at me. but when she finds that ive found her lookin at me , she takes her eyes off and again starts gossipin and merrymakin with her frens.
as for myself, i m of the serious kind. dont normally talk 2 people unless necessary. and regards to dealin with, her i m never the first one to start the conversation.....but i do talk with her frens freely.
help me pixie . u r a gal and u know a girl's mentality. u might advice me to get more frenly with her. but thats my great problem....why? coz good a fren i try to be her's, she will always look me upom as a guy who always has a romantic interest in her..

[Tone]

Since when was she your girlfriend?

You got issues dude...

[bluesummer]

Baadshah......I loved that movie! (It's the name of a bollywood movie for those who are confused)

My friend, you cannot force a girl to like you or even be friends with you. No matter how much you feel for her, or how much YOU feel you are meant to be with her, it doesn't mean it's going to happen. You have tried. Stop trying to convince her, stop trying to convince yourself. If she really does like you, she will make it evident if you start ignoring her. Understand? Some girls just enjoy having a boy chase after them so they can turn them away. It's ridiculous, but not uncommon.

[XPixiedustX]

hello pixie,

i am badly frustated with this thing called 'love'. it just sucks the juice out of ur brains..don't mind of the stuff i've written coz i m totally drunk today.
actually its my love which makes me do so..
i think u remember my story. i'm frustated coz i can't make out of what she(my gf) thinks ofme. u call it that she may be interested in me..i don't find it anythin of that such. u know when we have our clinical classes in our small batch of 4 gals and 10 guys, she doesn't even look at me forget talking. God!she doesnt even care if i m there in the class or not.
but again in the theory classes we have where all our students r present (about 120), she keeps on looking at me from diff angles(thats what my frens tell me. i tell u i ve 1 very close fren and he never lies). even i ve caught her many a time lookin at me. but when she finds that ive found her lookin at me , she takes her eyes off and again starts gossipin and merrymakin with her frens.
as for myself, i m of the serious kind. dont normally talk 2 people unless necessary. and regards to dealin with, her i m never the first one to start the conversation.....but i do talk with her frens freely.
help me pixie . u r a gal and u know a girl's mentality. u might advice me to get more frenly with her. but thats my great problem....why? coz good a fren i try to be her's, she will always look me upom as a guy who always has a romantic interest in her..

well baadshah i kind of agree with blue there, some girls do like to tease boys and then just turn away. When you say that she doesn't even talk to you or look in your direction in the small class...does that mean that you two are not even friends? if you want a serious relationship with her, then you have to become friends....maybe she does liek you but is afraid to do anything, you might have to ease your way into a relationship, first by becoming her friend and then by tell her how you really feel about her. It is also possible thta she does not feel the way you feel...but you can't force her can you....

[baadshah_007]

let's see how difficult it is to enter a girl's heart.........

and regards to blue, all i've to say is that 'winners never quit and quitters never win'....just maybe u understand..