Losing virginity nerves...

**MissK** · 17-07-05, 05:28 PM

I am really happy that the guy I have liked for so long has told me he likes me back and wants to go out with me. I'm a virgin but he isnt and he is aware that I am. I know he'd never rush me into anything and I believe that I'm ready to do it. He suggested staying at a hotel... I'm a little nervous but definitely feel like I want to do it.
I felt really nervous before my first kiss and found that everything just came naturally and wondered later what all the fuss was about. For others who have been through it is this experience the same? Does anyone have any suggestions about calming any nerves I might have and getting into it?

**Only-virgins** · 17-07-05, 05:55 PM

I would give you advice but since your going to sell your soul at a cheap louzy hotel room I dont really feel like it then. Your as good as dead to me. Actually..Im just kidding *cough*slut*cough*...I dont know...count to 10 to make the nervous-ness go away?

**updraft** · 17-07-05, 10:39 PM

Well, just how old are you anyway? If you're below 18 I don't feel comfortable giving any advice....there's lots of minors on this website so ....let me know.

**singularity2006** · 18-07-05, 01:33 AM

yeah, a hotel is ... nah. Honestly, I think the legal age should be upped to 21 for these kinds of things.... maturity definitely is not there for the majority of people by 18.

**Ulf** · 18-07-05, 02:22 AM

I believe in sex if you love someone, and putting out on a first date, at a HOTEL of all thing, sounds pretty lame to me. Particularly a first time, God...

Sad. It's not wether or not you're "ready" for sex, it's wether or not you're "ready" for sex with THAT PERSON.

Just because he "likes" you doesn't mean jack. In fact, it means less than jack. You know he doesn't want to rush you? BULL. He's taking you to a HOTEL for crying out loud! If that's not rushing then I have no idea why it's taken me so long to have sex with my girlfriend. Oh, that's right; because I have more respect for her then to push her into coming with me to a hotel, because I love her and know damn well that she's not ready, and because I want our first time to be something special that we won't be sitting around regretting in 5 years.

Not only is that guy not worth dating, but if you go through with this then you're not worth dating.

Sex has been turned into a theme park ride, and you are nothing more then a cheap thrill. Don't be a fool.

Tone · 18-07-05, 08:09 AM

Preach on, Ulf, preach on.

**daletom** · 18-07-05, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by MissK

I am really happy that the guy I have liked for so long has told me he likes me back and wants to go out with me. I'm a virgin but he isnt and he is aware that I am. I know he'd never rush me into anything and I believe that I'm ready to do it. He suggested staying at a hotel... I'm a little nervous but definitely feel like I want to do it.
I felt really nervous before my first kiss and found that everything just came naturally and wondered later what all the fuss was about. For others who have been through it is this experience the same? Does anyone have any suggestions about calming any nerves I might have and getting into it?

Do I read this right - you're just starting to date this guy and thinking of letting him take your virginity? Well, if you're 30-ish AND working with therapists to overcome a terminal fear of sexuality AND you & the therapist agree that a casual partner is best for your first time - then go for it!

Otherwise - it doesn't sound like a smart thing to do. Are you thinking that the only way to keep this guy interested is to sleep with him? Bull! That's junior high school mentality at it's worst! You may even be insanely infatuated with him, but that still doesn't make it a good idea. If you're over 18, keep company with him for 4 to 6 months before you even discuss it. If you're under 18, wait at least twice that long.

As for the hotel - actually, that may not be a bad idea for a first time. It will provide the privacy and the time (a whole day or more) to make the physiological mechanics go better.

I know this doesn't really answer your question. If you have an unshakable determination to go through with this, go back through my old posts for the last 18 months or so - you're not the first one to ask this question (by the way - I DO admire your courage for asking it) and some good answers have been given in several older threads.

**whaywardj** · 18-07-05, 03:19 PM

Why is a hotel necessary?

**Only-virgins** · 18-07-05, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by Ulf

Not only is that guy not worth dating, but if you go through with this then you're not worth dating.

Wow, thats a good saying actually.

Originally Posted by whaywardj

Why is a hotel necessary?

Probably cause she is im guessing around 15 lol?

**MissK** · 18-07-05, 04:34 PM

Thanks for your replies.
I am 18, the legal age for sex where I live is actually 16.
I can understand the hotel thing sounding cheap and I didnt realise it would be a big discussion point. We've just been talking about sex etc and hotel just came up, it was only mentioned the once casually and not again since - not really a big deal.
I really think I worded that original post wrong. Neither of us have planned this to be a first date just to clarify. I dont want to do it just like that, I want to get to know him first but do feel like I'm ready, I cannot really explain it, its just a feeling that I have.
While I dont plan to have sex with him on the first date or anything deep down I know that I want my first time to be with him and was just hoping for suggestions about nerves etc etc.
I think my post has made him out to sound like a creep which is totally not the case. We have a lot of mutual friends and I know sincerely that he isnt like that.
So im hoping this clarifies my situation... if anyone still has any advice I would really appreciate it :-)

**TAVS** · 18-07-05, 11:14 PM

Why are you even thinking about sex when you haven't even dated this guy yet? Nuts. You know you want your first time to be with him and you're not even serious yet? Why? Argh

**boobaa** · 19-07-05, 12:25 AM

People always think of sex before dating! Maybe that is the problem why all dates don't go so well? Masturbate before date!

Start masturbating now and God won't kill a kitten!

**daletom** · 19-07-05, 08:24 AM

Originally Posted by MissK

Thanks for your replies.
. . . I really think I worded that original post wrong. Neither of us have planned this to be a first date just to clarify. I dont want to do it just like that, I want to get to know him first but do feel like I'm ready, . . . I want my first time to be with him and was just hoping for suggestions about nerves etc etc.

I'm still not convinced it's good for you to be thinking this way, but here are some links to older threads about this:
[URL=http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?p=34897#post34897]Wedding night virgins[/URL]
[URL=http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?p=35616#post35616]Does it only hurt the first time?[/URL]
[URL=http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?p=35618#post35618]More info here[/URL]

Read thru the whole thread - there's a lot of good advice in the linked pages! Then if you have more questions, bring them back here.

**Only-virgins** · 19-07-05, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by boobaa

People always think of sex before dating! Maybe that is the problem why all dates don't go so well? Masturbate before date!

Start masturbating now and God won't kill a kitten!

If you masterbate then you might not even bother showing up at the date lol.

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