Why does ex gf get extremely upset when asks if we have started to date again?

[Lars77]

Was recently told that my ex girlfriend (we have started to have some contact and have been out for dinner ones) got extremely angry and upset and almost got in a fight with a girl how just said that she had seen me and my ex together and was wondering if we had started dating again. Don’t really understand why she got so upset, since she broke up with me about 1,5 years ago and is the one that only want to be friends. She simply could have said that we are just friends.

[mellyann]

Maybe she doesn't approve of herself being the topic of gossip among her friends.

[TheEvilJester]

I think we'd need a lot more information to be able to comment effectively. You don't have to share any details you don't want, but based just on what you shared, we can't even really speculate effectively. Did you two break up for any particular reason? Maybe if you did something/said something horrible to her that could explain the reaction.

Though, my personal gut reaction.... if she's willing to be friends with you again, whether or not she wants to date you again, I can't see any reason to be THAT upset that somebody just asked. That seems immature to me. A simple "No, we're not dating. We are just going to remain friends" is all it takes. If she gets THAT upset just by being asked then either you are the Devil (LOL!) or she's a nut-case.

[Lars77]

Some more details. The mainly reason why my ex gf broke up was because she thought I wasn’t going anywhere in my life which was somewhat true. Have made changes in my life and have future planes. Have never said anything bad about my ex, and neither has she about me. About 1 month ago we started to have contact, and have been out for dinner ones. We have slept together twice (no sex) and both times we were laying really close and cuddled a lot in bed. Last time we were in contact was a week ago when I wished her a marry x-mas and she replied very positively. Saying her life is great and ending with xo. I have been the one initiating contact and our meetup. She knows that I want to be more than friends, but that I wont be pushing for more for now.

[TheEvilJester]

Okay... then honestly I have to wonder if she's a complete psycho. I mean... no offense intended... but her reaction is WAY over-blown unless there is something I'm missing here. Honestly, if I were you, I'd have a hard time not taking offense to her reacting so vehemently to that question. Because to react that angrily to somebody simply asking if you two are getting back together makes it seem like the idea is so reprehensible to her that she's offended by the mere implication.

Unless you did something terrible to her, you don't deserve that kind of reaction. A simple "Oh, no, we're not getting back together, but we are still good friends" is all that is needed. Then again, I suppose one possibility MAY be that perhaps she's been getting that a lot. Perhaps people keep constantly asking her that. Perhaps it is not so much that the idea is offensive to her... maybe she's just getting annoyed with being asked constantly.

Anyway, to be 100% honest, I don't think it really matters. It seems obvious she has no intention of getting back together with you. At least not for now. So, my personal advice would be not to waste your time trying to make it happen. You can remain friends with her if that works for you both, I'm not saying you have to sever ties with her completely.

But, don't waste your time chasing after somebody who does not want you back. If she changes her mind, let her decide that and come to you. Otherwise if you waste too much time on somebody who isn't returning the same interest you could be wasting time where you could have found the right match for you. Your right match is out there somewhere. It even could wind up being her after all... but for now, at least, that does not seem to be in the cards. So, best to move on as though you assume it will never happen. If it does, great, if not you are ready to move on and find somebody else.

Best of luck.