Should I ask him where’s this going? What is he possibly thinking of us?

[Kady]

I’ve been dating this guy for a year, we were doing ok. It started to be the wonder of ok it’s been a year now and we’re not together still... I wanted to talk to him about it because I just didn’t want to invest more time in someone who doesn’t see a future with me. I get confused because everyone thinks we are together. We’re in a small city and I’m around his daughter he doesn’t bring her around women, I’m at his moms house all the time even when he’s not there because we cook together and his other family all think we’re together because he never brings girls around. So when I told him I wanted to talk we started talking and before we can even talk about it we realized I was pregnant from him wanting to ask me about things he noticed that he felt are symptoms. I NEVER EVEN GOT TO FREAKING ASK. We had a small convo about the pregnant when we first found out and he said he had hoped that we could move to being boyfriend and girlfriend “hopefully maybe eventually” Fast forward to now. (about a month and some change later) I’m almost 3 months pregnant and he is acting like we’re a couple, wants to go on trips in the fall and do yoga classes together so we can have communication. I don’t know what to think. What could he be thinking? Does he just want to see how long he could ride this out? Does he not want a relationship? I just want to know what he might be thinking and how to approach this so that we can move forward in the healthiest way.

[smackie09]

Just talk to him about it. That's it. You are in a position to say what your expectations are, and to challenge him in his lack of putting a label on his commitment to you. YOU NEED ANSWERS. If you start to show weakness, he's just going to take advantage of it and keep you wondering. You have every right to ask what his deal is.

[Roger85]

Better to put all the cards on the table. Talk to him, tell him what you expect from him and see were he stands.

[Kady]

Better to put all the cards on the table. Talk to him, tell him what you expect from him and see were he stands.

Hey so I spoke to him today. I don’t know how to say it went. He said he’s been divorced before and he doesn’t want two ex wife that he wants to take his time to make sure we have a strong base and ‘friendship’ that now we are having a child together and he doesn’t want to feel like he has to be in a relationship because of a baby that we will be unhappy if it doesn’t work out that he want to build and do all these things and once we start doing that that it’s not like we can turn back that moving forward together is a big deal. He said it’s “frustrating” because he feels like I’m focused on a title and if he’s messing with other girls, and that’s the only reason that I’m bringing it up that I have no other valid reason. Which for me even though that’s not the only reason it sound like even if that was my concern it should matter. He said he thought we were working towards a relationship and building towards that. Thoughts?