Call me stupid but I will not give up!!!!!!

[ErikEverhard]

For about the last 4-5 months a friend of mine had started dating, hanging out, texting, etc. We agreed to just start dating and see how it goes. She invited me to her house to meet her grown kids, and that night we spend the night outside just talking. It was as if we had know each other forever. I told her what I was looking for and she told me what she was looking for and it was the same thing. She would text how she wished I had my arms around her watching her fall asleep, how much she missed me, etc, etc. We were even holding hands when we were together. Well of course everything is going good and than bammmmmmm!!!!!!!
She starts to close up on me and tells me she is not sure if she is ready for a serious relationship......she was married for 10 years, and her last relationship ended in December when after 3 years together she walks in and finally catches him sleeping with another woman.
So I can understand her being fearful. She says she needs time to think and I gave it to her. After 2 weeks she meets me after church and wants to come over the house and watch a movie, and she even apologizes for not talking to me for two weeks.
Well last night she texts me and says "straight forward I do not a relationship serious or am I willing to start one right now, and that I need to move on and find someone else.

Well guess what I am not!!!! Call me stupid all you want. She opened up to me one time and her true feelings came out, but than she closed up and she even admitted she closed up to me. Her friend told me she is scared of getting serious and hurt again, and has low self esteem (which I picked up on) and fear of commitment.

So I am sure everyone is going say move on she made her decision, but guess what I am not and I even told her I was not going anywhere. She opened up to me and showed how she felt, and I truly believe she will again.

[lovebroken]

If she is worth your time, and you have the desire and patience to wait for her lack of trust to dissolve as she learns to trust you by spending more time with you and confiding in you - then, by all means, do not give up. People push people away when they are fearful of being hurt, it is a normal coping mechanism we use. Be a good listener, friend and that will help her move to the next step if you feel she is into you as you are her?

[ErikEverhard]

When she allowed herself to open up, without a doubt she had feelings for me. Her exact words were we will start dating and see if a relationship develops that's what she said she wanted. But once she closed up again without a doubt no. She has even admitted that she has closed up again.
We never had sex because she wanted our first time to be special. Now we have done things to each other with our hands. Really though it isn't fair to me I opened up because she did now I'm stuck madly in love and miserable.

[smackie09]

Just tell her you will give her the space she needs, but this doesn't mean you are going to change the way you feel about her. Tell her that she is special to you and you care about her a lot. Then leave it at that. If you push against her decision, then she's just going to shut you out of her life. Let her think about it, and miss you. Back off and see what happens.

[lovebroken]

Bump...........