My tinder hook up

[cleancoupe]

Hi everyone, I would like some advice on what to do with this situation I am in.

A few weeks ago I matched with this girl from tinder. We spoke for a little but never got the chance to meet for another 3 weeks since she's a flight attendant and I happen to be a pilot. So before leaving I told her that we would talk once I got back in 3 weeks. We never spoke while I was away and as soon as my plane landed and I got data my phone gets her notification saying hi through tinder. So we spoke and we came to the conclusion that neither of us were looking for a thing serious and all we wanted was sex. Fast forward 5 days I had to leave again, and just our luck we had layover in the same city. That night I went to her hotel and had sex for the first time.

I went on to do my flying and I was away for 2 weeks. In those 2 weeks we texted 3 times and agreed that she would spend a night at my place the first night I was back home. Well here is where things get very weird.

After that night, I cannot get this girl out of my head. I feel like I'm obsessed for some reason. I can't stop looking at social media if she posted and I look at whatsapp to see when was her last seen time. This is crazy because she's been running through my mind for the last week. This past week I took the initiative to text her 3 times but there were no conversation. More like I said things to let her know that I was thinking of her. I'm starting to like this girl a lot because of what she's shown in the two nights we spent together. The sex was good, but the way she makes me feel, and the vibe I get from her is beyond crazy. Next week we have 1 day planned to spend together and the following day we have a layover in the same city again.

Here is where I need some advice. This is really burning a hole in me and i want to tell her how she made me feel and that i like her... I know we can't have a relationship because of our careers and the time we would see each other would be very very little. I am potentially losing a **** buddy but I feel like I would hurt myself more having sex with her, spending a light here and there knowing that she makes me feel so good. I am planning on telling her over a message how I feel. What do you think? Will that make me look like a big pussy?
I feel like I'll be okay if that pushes her away, as I know itll make things easier for me in the sense that I will forget about her.
Please send some advice. Thank you

[CantMoveOn]

Sounds like you DO want something more serious and not just sex. That is a good thing because since you both are in same profession sort of, you won't be clingers on each other because you are away enough, so you can take it at a slow pace and get to really know each other, not just through meetups/sex. I had an overseas relationship( which is harder and difficult because no contact for months to a year until one travels to the other because of expenses, so it can work, at least for a while. Tell her anyways, be honest, risk whatever may happen. She could be the one and you threw the chance away, think of it that way. You don't need to see each other daily, or weekly, but make efforts when you can. See how it goes.

[cleancoupe]

Thanks for the advice. Like I said, i would feel better telling her and then possibly seeing her push away then to just keep having sex and liking her more and more and knowing I won't have her.

Initially all I wanted was sex, but all of this was before she was the way she is. I have no idea she was that girl. So yes I would be open to more.

[CantMoveOn]

You should try to do some drafts of what you'd like to tell her and maybe voicemail it, but if you don't feel good about saying it to you, then send an abbreviated version to her via text. If it was me I would feel flattered and happy, that you think of her as much more than a fbuddy and that you have real feelings for her. Tell her you appreciate the connection you are building and how amazing you think she is. Make it all honest thoughts and feelings don't put any extra shine on it, we can tell. Not over the top, just real raw feelings. Good luck.

[Hooo!]

Whatever you do
Messaging her that you love her after having sex once seems like a total stupid idea to me

[TheEvilJester]

I would definitely agree with those saying you shouldn't confess you love her, or say anything all that serious... but I do still think you should go for it. If you CAN, I'd say maybe talk about it in person rather than via text message or voice mail or something. But, if you must do it via text/voice mail, at least do it.

My personal suggestion would be not to gush too much. Like don't go on and on about how you think she's amazing and this and that. Just sort of say how you DID initially just want sex... but that you are starting to feel like you two really hit it off. That you might want to see if it could be more and you wanted to get a feel for if she also feels the same way. If she truly DOES just want sex and nothing more, it could just scare her off if you come in too hard. Whereas, if you are assertive about what you want, but also conservative about it (difficult balance, but it is possible) then maybe you'll find out she feels the same way.

Honestly, truth be told, I think you pretty much said it yourself. You said you'd rather ask her and even if it resulted in her pushing you way rather than to not ask and keep falling harder for her but know it can never be anything more. ...So, to me that sounds like your answer right there.

Fortune favors the bold. Sure, it would suck if you go for it and she's not interested, but at least then you will know rather than be left wondering. But... what if you try and she feels the same way? What if it could turn into something great? So, why not at least give it a shot?

Good luck!