Same girl broke my heart twice. (because of her mother) need answer to a question.

[whaywardj]

You're last, White, sounds like anger talking. That's an example of what NOT to act on. When you start feeling sorry for yourself again, don't act on that either. Just roll until you get a feel for the range of your own rhythm. THEN think about making a decision. The quarter could just as easily have been a sign you're only 25% of the way through yourself on the matter.

[whitedragon20na]

When a break up happens your mind goes through a lot. Mine went through about twice as much as most because all I have been doing is thinking about what happened, getting some input and thinking about the FACTS. A couple days ago when I got the quarter and mentioned it here, I was still an emotional wreck and wanted her back so badly. Now in talking with friends, and people in general I'm begining to realize that in order to get the pain to go away I have to accept the fact that she didn't want me, that she thought I wasn't good enough for her and that's not the type of person I should be with. I need time to sort everything out and make my life better for myself and not for someone else. I need to live for myself and not someone else. Now the fact that I do have mental issues that need to be worked out may come into play. Don't get me wrong, I still do love her and she will always have a place in my heart even if I never do talk to her again. Right now I need to sort out my life and live for myself and not someone else because if it takes another person to make me happy then how will I ever be truly happy? I need to be happy with myself, by mysef before I can be happy with someone else.

[Tone]

Exactly man. And I think you're on the right track now. I would definately take Hayward's advice to not act on anything right away LoL

[whitedragon20na]

I don't intend to act on anything at all, I'm not going to say anything to her. In fact I deleted all her friends from my buddy lists so it would be easier for me not to think about contacting her.

[whitedragon20na]

If anyone wants the ENTIRE, LONG story, here it is, pretty much in full.
[url]http://members.boardhost.com/Tigress/msg/256137.html[/url]

[Asip4u]

I fear for you white...very much so...

[whitedragon20na]

Asip, why is that? can you tell me please?
btw, my name is Nick, instead of calling me white. lol

[Asip4u]

Well Nick, if that's your real name , you're trying to forget, yet you're concentrating on your problem. Don't do that...It will be harder to move on if you keep talking about it. Change the subject and get involved in other things. This friend that you have, why not get together with her or other people and do something? When you're online talking to people, try not focusing so much on what happened between you two. Experience new things, don't dwell on the past.

[whitedragon20na]

I understand what you're saying, it's just hard to not think about her all the time. I started writing a journal type thing today (writing a page a day in a notebook) so I could get my feelings out.
I wish I had friends that I could do things will. All my friends live quite far away, and the friend mentioned above lives about 900 miles away.

[whitedragon20na]

I do have something else to say though. After thinking everything over and so on, I know that if she said she wanted to get back together today, I would say no. The part that hurts is that I don't know if she'll come back after time to ourselves. I just wish I could say to her, "Take your time and I will too, after that we can see what happens and try to work it out together." and she would say, "Okay, that sounds fine to me."

[whitedragon20na]

Okay, again more ranting or complaining on my part, but what would you expect?
Here's exactly how I feel right now:

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

[shh!]

Wow - you sound like an emotionally unbalanced teenaged girl! Get a hold of yourself.

[whitedragon20na]

that's actually the lyrics to the song I keep listening to over and over again.
"How Could This Happen To Me?" by Simple Plan

[Tone]

If you want to feel better you can start by NOT listening to that song over and over again.

[whitedragon20na]

Oh how if you look at a cloud you can always find a silver lining.
I've made six new friends because of this break-up, all girls, and five of them live in my area.
And they are all great, and are there for me even though I just met them.