Originally Posted by
Sblancy
I want to hold on coz i do really understand the situation. But i dont know in his side?
Should i give up on him? Because he doesnt want to feel like his hurting me by not giving the time than usual?
He's hurting you by not doing a better job of managing his time--and perhaps his job isn't allowing him to do this. If that is the case, then he shouldn't be in any relationships because by definition, they come with obligations to meet certain expectations. In-face time is one of those requirements.
It's not fair to you to hold onto him when he's being evasive, not answering your messages, keeping you at bay. Just so he can call you his "friend"? That's really not an equitable time/investment exchange. And if this is more about him not wanting to be sad over you moving on and finding someone who does want what you want--and he's using you to keep from feeling sad about his decision--then that speaks to a level of calculating that's worth observing.
If you really did understand the situation, there wouldn't be such a disconnect, based upon what you've written in this thread. What I can see is that you and he have a completely different definition of what each of you thinks you have.
There may never come a day when you completely "know his side" and you're going to have to find a way to be good with that.
If he's being economical with information, then you're going to have to start leaning on your own ability to make good judgements for your highest good in the absence of said information so that you're not steering yourself right into a scenario you know you don't want to be in.
Don't waste your youth on someone who isn't arsed to rise to the challenge, no matter how good things seem outside of this--if you can't be content with who you have without complaining, then they aren't the right fit for you.
People treat you the way they feel about you
If you choose to remain with someone who doesn't treat you well, you cease being the victim and become the volunteer.
~Derrick Jaxn -- look him up