He dumped me, i slept with someone else, we are back together. What to do?

[IcyCheesecake]

My boyfriend broke up with me last year because he wanted to work things out with his wife (they were in the middle of the divorce). He told me he cannot be with me anymore, that he loves her and wants to try and make things ok for his kids.

As i was hurt and angry, i slept with someone else after almost 2 months. It didn t mean anything, i didn t enjoy it, i was just so lost and i didn t care about anything anymore.

Fast forward to 3 months after our break up, he came back and wanted to be with me, his divorce was final and he said to give it a try.

Because i love him, i gave this a chance and i also told him i had slept with someone else in the 3 months we were broken up.

It s been 6 months since we are having this problem, i have told him everything, he just doesn t seem to let this go. We decided to not end the relationship, but he is still angry with me, we are having good days-bad days, he doesn t like that i had sex just like that, that another man touched me, we had sexual problems at some point, sometimes i get rejected sexually or he doesn t have sex with me because he "sees me having sex with the other guy" ETC

I have read some threads on the internet about this and it seems there are men who have issues about this.

I don t know what to do anymore... I m not sure his judging/condemning attitude is going to give us a good result for this. I told him that as long as he thinks that what i did is so horrible and that if he keeps seeing me as some horrible woman, he will never get over it.

Please, if there is someone who s ever been in this situation, what did you do? How did u handle it? Did u get over it? How? What can i do?

Thanks

[rosyparkle]

He is deeply hurt. You seem to be less concerned about how much he is hurt and more concerned about how you are treated by him. That will lead the relationship to an end anyway. To figure out what you should do, think more about what you can do for him to heal his pain, with no expectation of return.

[itina]

He is deeply hurt!!!!!

[rosyparkle]

What you did was hurtful, even though you were not to blame, because you were on a break. But what you said to him is like salt on would. Your words conveys lack of care and lack of love. That alone will lead your relationship to end.

[smackie09]

The only purpose this relationship has is that he gets to continually punish you for something you didn't do wrong. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. He is a controlling possessive, and selfish, and I may add...jerk. This will never get better....cut him loose. Tip: stay away from men that are still married or even going through a separation or divorce. They are still in some way still have sex with/committed to their spouse. Never believe them when they say, the marriage is all bad and crap...that is their way to convince you to be committed to them...it's a sham. Now this jerk comes back expecting you to be pure and waiting for him? The only thing that is hurt is his big fat ego.

Please has some self worth and respect....you can do waaaaaaay better than this dude. I can't believe the other posters are laying on the guilt when you were well within your right to do whatever you wanted while you were broken up. And he has no right to shame you for it. Hurt? the guy is a buffoon.

[rosyparkle]

Smackie09, I agree with most of what you said, but I don't see how other posters are shaming her. He is hurt because of what she did. That's just a fact. But should she stay with him? A different question completely.

To IcyCheeseCake, seriously consider making some big changes in your life. Many red flags here: 1. For him, he was dating you while he was not divorced. That is a person who you should not date. 2. For you, you were dating someone who has a family. There is a woman (this guy's wife), who is having trouble with marriage ... Then you got in the picture. That is a very bad thing you did, to her and her children and her family. Seriously consider why you make such life choices. Have you ever considered how your actions impacted her life and her children's lives?