Trying to understand man language

[purplerain2010]

we started talking on the phone about 2 months ago when we got introduced to each other through friends. conversations were mainly on phone or chat since we are not living nearby to each other. he started flirting with me from the point we started talking and he would say things like, i would like to kiss your feet and give you a massage, or make breakfast for you etc. i have never spoken to anyone who would be quite quick in flirting with me like that and i just tried to play along with him and he would call me every day talking for at least an hour. I am not a late sleeper but as I wanted to get to know him better i would even stay up late to talk to him and kind of conversations went on for 2 months and in between I decided to see him in person as I couldn't let his flirts to be just talk without any action and to see if we liked each in person as well. we had a few days together but he acted very cautious with me since i was staying in his house and he didn't want to encourage any unwanted incidents so i felt comfortable as well and i liked that he respected my space but at the same time i felt that he was being too careful with not making any initiative to touch me or just show any affection.

But last week i had a difficult conversation with him about something i was not comfortable with and he took it very seriously and he was shocked at how i reacted as he made it somewhat a condition to like him. i just told him that i needed a few days of break to recover and actually i contacted him again just after a day of that misunderstanding but he had already made the conclusion that we may be two very different people. I was very upset that he was quick to make the conclusion just because i asked for a break since i was very sad and disappointed. now he said that he wasn't sure whether he wanted to be in a relationship with me and he didn't think that we were serious so I am now very confused as to what was all the flirting about when he now says that he didn't think that we were seriously trying to know each other. I am now very confused with his response and he also mentioned that it will be okay for me to get to know other people and what hurts me the most now is when he said that we all have at least 100,000 people to consider in this world!

I now feel like i wasted 200 hours of my time talking to this guy, letting him give me so much hope and flirting with me as he wished to then be given this kind of advice and statements. I feel broken and he is still trying to communicate with me now as he still wants to be my friend but how can I consider him as friend right now after all he has said and done? Do you guys understand what could possibly be going through this man's head?

[smackie09]

He has had the run around before, and "Taking a break" is what most would consider as being rejected despite your intentions. He now doesn't trust your word, and is passive/aggressively testing your response to his hurtful response of telling you to date others. It will take a lot of convincing to get him back. I would be put off too so I don't blame him for his reaction. Most, after meeting for the first time, or spending quality time with someone you are into, usually there is an expectation of increased intensity/ more flirting and I miss you already, etc. Well that didn't happen so he's thinking the same thing....that he just wasted 200 hours of his time.

You blew it.

Him wanting to be a friend, is him leaving the door open for you to prove yourself that you really want to be with him. He's making you earn it this time. Like I said, he doesn't trust you now, so he is waiting to see how this plays out.

[purplerain2010]

He has had the run around before, and "Taking a break" is what most would consider as being rejected despite your intentions. He now doesn't trust your word, and is passive/aggressively testing your response to his hurtful response of telling you to date others. It will take a lot of convincing to get him back. I would be put off too so I don't blame him for his reaction. Most, after meeting for the first time, or spending quality time with someone you are into, usually there is an expectation of increased intensity/ more flirting and I miss you already, etc. Well that didn't happen so he's thinking the same thing....that he just wasted 200 hours of his time. You blew it.Him wanting to be a friend, is him leaving the door open for you to prove yourself that you really want to be with him. He's making you earn it this time. Like I said, he doesn't trust you now, so he is waiting to see how this plays out.

I don't agree that i blew it. disagreements do happen in relationships and i at least had the courtesy to tell him that i just need a break for a few days for me to recover from that difficult conversation where he admitted that it was his fault and it was not the right thing for him to do. i didn't just disappear out of the blue like most people would do. i also tried to patch up with him just after a day and yet he did not try to welcome the idea that it was just a misunderstanding and to move on from it.

[smackie09]

You don't know his love language, nor can you reason with him if he doesn't trust you. A simple misunderstanding to you but not to him. Like I said, he felt rejected no matter how you see it. You blew it in a sense that you told him you needed to take a break. No one wants to hear those words no matter your intentions.

Him being so sensitive....you dodged a bullet anyways.

[cocacola]

I'm not a dude, but he sounds like a jerk/player. He should've given you space and respected it if he liked you.