Torn on what to do

[tornintwo]

This may be a jumbled mess, but bear with me.

So about a year ago, i started talking to this guy. We hit it off pretty well, and i started gaining feelings. I was always too scared to express my feelings to him because he never acted as if he had the same feelings as well. He always acted like i was just another fling. So over time i pushed away my feelings and tried my best to move on. 4 months ago i got together with my current boyfriend who i truly care about. The first month was great, but as time went on he started getting distant which made me nervous. We dont see each other as much as we use to because hes "busy", but i always try my best to schedule things so i can see him. Ive expressed my feelings about us not seeing each other as much and he just brushes it off. He doesnt act as caring and loving as he use to either, it always seems like its a chore for him to say "I love you". He barely answers my calls as well. I tend to overthink a lot and i always need reassurance that im not annoying and hes not getting bored because of what ive been through in past relationships. I feel like that annoys him at times which makes me overthink and anxious. Not too long ago, the other guy confessed that hes had feelings for me since the beginning but he was too scared to tell me. He always treats me so great, always making time to see me and what not and im not even joking about the fact that he gives me more attention than my boyfriend does. My heart is torn and i feel so guilty about it, i just dont know what to do. Advice would be great, thank you.

- TI2

[meloveu]

Sounds like your boyfriend is either emotionally unavailable, got comfortable with you (although 4 months is to soon to be comfortable), seeing someone or checked out and has slowly distanting himself from you, pushing you to leave him... When You says he's busy, what is he busy doing?

If a guy likes you, he will find time for you, even to call and reassure everything is okay. In the mean time, dont make yourself too available. Play by ear and dont be too needy. When patterns of you always calling him stops, maybe he will reach out to you instead.

Btw, does this other guy know you have a boyfriend?

[smackie09]

You are not imagining things...your BF is doing the slow fade in hopes you will finally give up and dump him. It's obvious he is checking out. Do yourself a favor and dump the coward.

As for the other guy, IMO if a guy is willing to take a chance and express his feelings towards you, it's worth looking into BUT, I would hold off on sleeping with him again. Make him prove he is worthy of a relationship with you. I'm not saying he is being shady, I'm saying there is a small chance he is telling you what you want to hear in order to get with you again. Take your time, don't ignore any red flags.

[tornintwo]

He always beats around the question, he'll go a while without talking to me and then when i finally get a text back ill ask him what he was up to and he'll say "nothing much". The other guy does know i have a boyfriend.

[cocacola]

This guy saying hes "busy" is classic blow off behavior. Time to move on from him, go for the nice guy.

[Hooo!]

Do you know what you really wanted to happen?
If you do: what is it?