I miss her so bad. Should I reach out?

[mikex28]

I miss my ex-girlfriend so bad. It feels like a hole that’s the size of her is missing inside me. We broke up recently, closing to 3 weeks, and we haven’t talked ever since. Well, there was that time when I tried messaging her but she shut me down by saying I’m reaching out too soon. How soon is soon, anyway? Looking back at our relationship, she and I always had a thing for timing. Whether it’s making our relationship official three months after the romance date tour or us giving our relationship another go, timing was always a crucial matter.

I’m so torn right now between talking to her or waiting for another time. When are you supposed to reach out to your ex after your break up? I’m not trying to reach out because I want to get back together just yet. I’m reaching out because I want us to be at least on speaking terms. I still think we have another chance. If we’d be on speaking terms then we could at least work out things. I don’t know. I really, really miss her so much.

[MortensOrchid]

How/why did you break up? Who was the one who broke things off and why?

Close the books and move on. You have displaced emotions fluxing between depression, sadness, regret and anger. You won't even remember it in a few more weeks.

[mikex28]

How/why did you break up? Who was the one who broke things off and why?

Close the books and move on. You have displaced emotions fluxing between depression, sadness, regret and anger. You won't even remember it in a few more weeks.

we broke up because of our differences. she initiated it and i agreed because I know we needed space (temporarily) I just didn't realize that she meant break up for good

[jay2665]

Maybe you should give her some space to cool down herself. It seems there are still some question and uncertainty in your break up which you dont know. Just give you and her some times to take a rest. After that, you can try to have conversation with her to identify the real reason leading to break up. As you know, there are differences between you and her, bt is it the real point to her, maybe not. So let time cool down herself, you should be patient and wait for the right moment to communicate with her when she is ready.

[cocacola]

Cut the cord, its for your own good. Keeping yourself thinking it will be rekindled is torture. Sorry, I know it hurts but if you keep talking to her it will just drag the hurt on. (coming from a girl)

[broken-confused]

Okay dude, this is gonna be hard for you. I went though a miserable break up with someone I had life plans with. Everything was great, then one day she told me we needed a break. we were apart for about 2 weeks before we got back together, not even three weeks after we got back together, she left me for good. left me hanging with the line, "it has nothing to do with you". which recently i found out that it did. she just didn't know how to tell me how she was feeling. I was a freak and got too needy and clingy when i should of just left her alone to figure out her shit. Then let her come to be when she was ready. I didn't and I lost her forever.

anyways, i'm rambling...

This is what you need to do. It's going to be really freaking hard. I know, because i couldn't do it and if i would of, i would probably be back with my ex now.

1. Cease all contact with her. Don't message her, quit looking at social media with her in it, ect. NO CONTACT AT ALL. I know it will be hard but if you want another chance(if it's there), you have to do this.
2. Use this time for yourself. Morn, cry, sleep, work out, work on projects, hang out with friends, what ever makes you feel better. Again, it will be rough, but you need to do this.
3. DO NOT CONTACT HER! I can't emphasize this enough! Leave her alone. She needs to realize she misses you. If you keep bugging or talking, or saying "I'm here if you need " your just being needy and a "friend" You don't want any of that . She needs to see that you are just fine without her and realize she is not without you.
4. Don't date! I went into a serious self destruct depression when mine left me. i got on dating sites within a week looking for companionship. She found out. Well that made everything super worse. If i would of just left her alone when she broke up. Not contacted her at all, and did some soul searching on my own, I know she would of came back. Instead i did the opposite, i kept bugging, and asking why and then I whored around. Really bad. I was broken and numb. bad depression. at one time i was seeng 4 different women at the same time, and this was all within a month or two of the break up. Honestly i'm surprised i survived and pull out of that mess. Long story short. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF. NO OTHER WOMEN RIGHT NOW!
5. DO NOT CONTACT HER. I cannot emphasize this enough She needs to miss you, not be bothered by you.
6. Deal, do what you need to to get through this. Use your friends and family. I isolated myself and it made everything worse. Just remember. NO WOMEN!
7. DO NOT CONTACT HER!. you need to wait at least 3 weeks since the last time you texted or talked. If she doesn't initiate, then wait another week. if nothing by then, keep waiting. week by week. DO NOT initiate contact. I would say if nothing after a month and a half or two, then maybe shoot her a text light and happy. something like "hey, how you been" that's it. DO NOT BRING UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP! let her do that.

Ive done a lot of reading since my break up. I learned that i did everything exactly the wrong way and if i would of done things like i'm telling you, i think she would of came back to me. So that's my advise. I know it's tough. Believe me i know. I still feel like i have a hole in my soul where she used to be. But if you do want a chance with her. you need to give her this space and opportunity to realize she does miss you and want you. If it doesn't work and she doesn't, then you will know for sure. Good luck dude.