Uncomfortable making out w/ friend

[missluna]

Hi Guys,
I need help on something that really bothers me: yesterday I went over to a friend's home to study. For context: we're not really close friends but I like him and we've been studying together before.
For like a month or so I had a little crush on him and we've been kinda flirting so yeah I was mainly just excited to see him.
So we ended up watching a movie (Silent Hill) and I was kinda scared so he put his arm around me and we held hands and it was really nice and sweet.
Problem is, after a short while he started touching my belly and then my butt and my boobs. I got really uncomfortable and to be honest, I don't know WHY bc as I said I liked him. I didn't know what to say though bc I obviously led him on, flirted with him, teased him, touched him etc. So I just kept silent.
However, when we started kissing and making out and he put his hands in my pants it got really horrible and I just panicked and stopped. He was confused and wanted to continue so I said that there's this guy that I date - which is obviously a lie, I'd never do that. But I didn't want to hurt his feelings and tell him that this is horrible and as I said - I panicked and telling a guy that there's another guy is usually the one thing that kept guys away (in my experience).
Now, telling him that there's another guy hurt his feelings, too, and I'm really sorry... It's all my fault because I gave pretty clear signals before and I DON'T know at all why I was so fcking uncomfortable (I've had sex before and I've obviously also made out with guys before) . It was so terribly awkward when I left, I ruined a perfectly good friendship! How the hell do I fix this mess?

[DalM0m]

You fix this by staying out of private spaces with him. No more study dates or watching movies. Time & space may heal the friendship. Just act normal in school.

Next you learn a few things:

1. It's OK to want to only make out with a boy but not go further. Making out involves kissing, not touching. Touching is petting. What you did was have manual sex (digital penetration) with him, meaning he stimulated your vagina. That is waaaaaaayyyyyy more then making out.

2. Uphold your own boundaries. If you don't want a boy to touch you, say NO! in a clear, loud voice. Don't giggle. Don't whisper. Don't send mixed messages. While you are saying no, physically move his hands to places that you are OK with. If he doesn't listen to you, get up & leave. It really is that simple.

3. Don't lie. Yes, lots of women make up fake BFs to let some guy down gently but that only works with strangers you never have to see again so you don't have to give them your phone #.

This boy made you uncomfortable. You have to tell him that. You have to stick up for yourself & enforce your own boundaries.