Need help moving on from a co worker
Hey guys, it's been a while since I was here but I do like the feedback I get here whenever I posted here so here I am with a problem:
So almost a year ago, I was in this "psuedo" relationship with a co worker of mine. The only reason why I say psuedo is because we were never together but even to her agreement, it felt like we were since we talked all the time, hung out outside of work all the time, and most importantly we did shit couples would do. But during that false relationship, I always had feelings for her and she was highly aware of it. And she would say things that would keep me hanging there to her, even though she claimed she wasn't interested and only saw me as her best friend. But yet she'll ask me things that would lead me on like "would you date me?" "have sex with me?" "you think that maybe we'll get together?" to which my reply is of course going to be a yes since i had strong feelings for her.
But it was followed up by her saying something like "nah, i just want to be single and not be in a committed relationship" which is fine cause at that time she broke up with her ex of 9 years. But of course she would still hook up with him (I had to find out from our friend) while dating to another guy and keeping me there for emotional support without any romance. Even then I told her that what she was doing was messed up and it was harming other people. She also started holding my hand and cuddled with me in my bed (as well as sleep over from time to time) and back then I was dumb enough to let that shit fly, just cause for a moment, it made me happy.
Last May, we ended up hooking up which ended abruptly cause she said all she thought of was her ex, but later yabbed to some of our co-workers that I didn't know what I was doing, which hurt my ego. But after that fiasco, I moved on sorta. Her and I were cool, and I thought I got over her. We would still talk on the phone and hang out and so on, till October, where I called her out on her selfishness and how she crossed boundaries all the time with me with no positive gain for my sake. Called her out for leading me on, to which she denies. That eventually stopped and we stopped talking for a bit and then became cool again. I honestly thought I was completely over it. She recently told me that she's dating someone and for some reason it bugged me. Of course I got jealous, and I told her that I needed to back off for a long while, so I can properly get over it for real. She was telling me to not fret and it's nothing and so on but I can tell she is lying. I think her with someone triggered feelings that I thought went away, cause I did lose feelings at a point. But yeah...
So the question is, what are some ways I can get over her? I see her everyday at work, but we work in different classrooms so that helps and I also leave work before she does so that helps a lot too. I'm currently applying at other jobs before I consider quitting cause the pay isn't too great. So outta sight outta mind. I've accepted that she is dating someone, perhaps the feelings I have might be lust cause I got blue balled but whatever advice you got anything helps. I know she isnt a good person even though I try to see goodness in her and I know she is crazy.
On a side note I can elaborate more about her if needed
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]so you lost a limb but hell, you will heal in time.