Not sure what to do about my female 'friend'

[kakashisensei]

Hello, I just turned 19, and I could really use your help, I would really appreciate if you could read this..

I fell in love with my female friend. We go long back from HS, when I didn't even know her name. We started talking around 3rd year, as time went, we became very close. We went to same driver's ed. She was my prom date. To cut the story, we really had good time together, we really clicked, and I thought we had something special, until I decided to tell her that I liked her, over the phone, because we live in separate cities, we both go to college. And I kinda thought, she might like me too, but she just said she was shocked, and needed some time. So I gave her the time, 3 weeks, we didn't hear, and then she just came back, we continued to talk and hang out, just like nothing happened. I really felt heartbroken, because, not giving the answer is still the answer.

I told her that we won't hear anymore, and that maybe we'll hear again in the future.. I think she took it well, said she's giving me time as much as I want, and that she's sorry that she didn't say anything earlier about that, and that she just wanted to keep me, so we can be friends..

So next chapter,

She send me like 1 whole page, of things she was thinking about me. And to cut the story, she said that she honestly means it.. She said she wants us to try a relationship, and I said that we should, and the see how it goes..

And the last and the crucial part:

We went out, I thought about taking her some place nice, but she just said we should take a walk, so we did, for like 2h. We got close to her place. I came closer to kiss her, and she said 'what are you doing' a i said I want to kiss you, and she said 'okay, umm, I'm just not ready for that step yet, It's not the right time, I'm sorry, we were friends for some time, and I just need some time to process that transition. I said okay then, well bye. After this, we didn't hear for a week and still counting..

Just to mention, that day that I tried to kiss her, I was really nervous, and I panicked, I was a bit weird, or not a 'bit' maybe completely weird, did that repel her ? Wasn't I the dominant self confidant guy she wanted ? Is this in any way my fault ? Because what's killing me the most is me screwing this up, not that she doesn't like me that much.

Any word from you would be nice, also.. I didn't wrote her, my b-day was 3 days ago, she just sent me a happy b-day card, nothing more, I just said thanks, I didn't tried to push her even more or wrote to her or something like that. I'm not hoping for anything, I know that this is completely over, but still, I would like to hear any of you what you have to say, because, me thinking that this didn't shook my confidence, it actually did. This is my first experience with girls, and now I feel like complete idiot, for maybe not doing the right thing, or that I could actually win her.

[bunnyhabit]

based on her reactions i believe she has friendzoned you as a nice platonic acquaintance she doesn't want to dump out on. hence no answer to your confession and avoiding sexual contact.

perhaps she already has a lover or your personality does not match her preference in a lover as you are overly kind and submissive. try feeling her out on what her ideal lover traits so you can decide if you meet her expectations

[kakashisensei]

She doesn't have a lover. I don't know, I think our personalities do match. And no, I can't do anything right now, she's ignoring me, and I'm not reaching out to her. We do live in different cities, but yeah, It's over. If she wanted to keep me, wich I know she does, she said when she wrote that letter 'Maybe it's hard for you, but like this is even harder for me', she should've just leave me alone, and maybe we could be just friends in distant future, but now, we can't be anything. But ty for reply.

[Mr Married]

Don't chase her. It will just drive her away. This could be hard to hear but...She just isn't into you like you are into her.
Many people like you get all in there head and then write some long text spilling out their guts about there professed
love to the other.....DON'T DO THAT !!!!!!!!

It would be best for you to move on and find another relationship. The friend-zone is extremely hard to get out of and
trying to get out of it usually ends with them not being friends anymore.

[kakashisensei]

I'm not chasing her. She's already driven away, was thinking about blocking her on fb and all social media. I know that she isn't into me, I was just lashing out that moment when I wrote it. I'm moving on, at least I think I am, and no, no new relationships.

[bunnyhabit]

unfollowing and blocking her is an excellent closure gesture that will give you peace of mind to move forward with a new adventure in love. dont look at her activities/photo ops in the future so as not to rekindle your feelings for her

[kakashisensei]

Well, I only didn't block her cuz of our better part of history and respect to her, and also so that I wouldn't look weak, but yeah, I should block her.