My GF is emotionally insensitive

[jeffv23]

I just want to get it off my chest that it’s really pissing me off how my girlfriend seems to invalidate my feelings. Every single time that we have argument, she makes it seem like I’m not allowed to feel anything about whatever we're arguing about i.e. get mad, sad, etc. One time, I found out about her ex joining her family’s party which I wasn’t invited to and she got in a pissy mood when I told her that I felt bad about the situation. Who won’t she feel bad about that? I’m not a very emotional person, but I also have my limits. Just because I’m a guy, doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything too. I already talked to her about this and she doesn’t seem to bother. Being in this situation makes me regret breaking up with my first girlfriend whom I met in an foreign date live event. I guess this is bad karma coming back to me.

[Mr Married]

She is only a girlfriend...you have discovered you are emotionally not compatible. Move on... that simple.
People often make the mistake thinking that they can "change" the other. Don't make yourself miserable.

[TheEvilJester]

As much as I'd like to disagree since I wish I could have a more optimistic view... I do have to agree with Mr. Married. I mean, don't get me wrong. We both COULD be wrong. Maybe it is just a matter of talking to her, making her understand how this kind of stuff makes you feel. Maybe she doesn't mean to make you feel this way and she can be better with it.... but it sounds like you already HAVE talked to her about it and nothing changes.

If you are willing to give more examples, please do as that could help clarify the situation some. But, based just on what you have shared, I am definitely leaning towards thinking I would feel the same way. I don't see how in the blue Hell she could possibly NOT understand why her ex being at a party RUN BY HER FAMILY at which you were not invited would be upsetting to you. I mean, I don't know the circumstances behind it all. Maybe there is a good reason he IS invited. Maybe it was at a time that you and her hadn't been together very long and that is why YOU weren't invited, simply because they didn't know you all that well yet. ....But I think just about anybody, in your position, would still feel a bit weird about that. I mean, you shouldn't necessarily expect her not to go because of that. If it was her family's party, then she kind of needs to be there. But, she could at least show some understanding and compassion for how it would be awkward for you. Heck, one would think it would be awkward for her as well, so you think she'd empathize.

This sort of thing certainly CAN be make or break. It would be for me. But, we're not close enough to your situation to really know. Maybe she is insensitive enough that you'd be better off just to move on. Maybe she's not that bad and it could get better if you two talk about it/work on it. That is certainly something you would have to decide. ...But I can tell you that I, for one, don't think you are wrong to feel the way you do. I think I'd feel the same way if I had a gal and she displayed such a lack of consideration to my feelings.

[bulrush]

1. She's not your therapist, she's your gf. Stop acting like she's your therapist. It would be nice if she were to validate your feelings but this is not her primary job. And it sounds like she has no clue even what that is.

2. You may not be emotional, but you sound overly sensitive. You will have to fix this or have this affect you for the rest of your life. I used to be this same way too and it caused me mountains of problems. You will need to get a tougher skin. If this issue with her is causing problems, find another gf.

> Just because I’m a guy, doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything too. I already talked to her about this and she doesn’t seem to bother.

That's pretty vague. Can you give more details or examples of what she did? A pattern of this behavior from her sounds bad for the relationship.

> I guess this is bad karma coming back to me.

I don't think this is bad karma. Also, it sounds like she doesn't like men who are more emotional. She sounds resentful of you. That's a bad sign.