Confused - is he too young? What are his intentions? 42 versus 25.

[Nunisweet]

Hello. I am 42 and was quite happy content in my life and career being single. I have been single for 4 years and i finally decided to try a relationship. I met this guy, he is only 25. I have 3 kids. Ages 20. 17. And 9. He's been wanting to stay at my place almost every night and he always offers to help me with my kids. He has his own place,jobs,and car but makes substantially less money than me so im.not sure if thats a factor too. I make 85k while he probably makes about 10k annually. He helps by driving my older boys places and picking up my daughter from school during the odd hours while i work my strictly scheduled full time job 45 hours a week. He cooks dinner. He encourages my kids to do chores which is something I have never been able to implement successfully due to my busy schedules and inconsistency of being around. I am a single mother and my kids have been fatherless thier entire lives. I faulter in some of the missing parenting aspects I can recognize and implementing structure has always been a struggle for me so having a guy come in and help feels a bit "nice"

Here's my issue. When it comes to me and him. I feel like I am coming in second in our relationship. He relates to my two older boys very closely and he plays video games with them. Talks to them about life issues such as women and relationships. Encourages then about school and growing up. Etc.

I gave my 17 year old son my credit card in front of my bf and told him not to spend over $10.00 because they needed gas and I was bringing pizza home for dinner. I arrive at home pizza in hand and i get an Instant notification on a 20$ purchase at a food cuisine. I call my son up and he tells me that it wasn't his fault but yet I yelled at my son for the overcharged purchase. My son and my boyfriend arrive home and my bf comes straight to me apologizing saying that it was him that made the excess purchase and he apologized. I felt guilty for yelling at my son because i knew clearly he would have never went against my request in the first place. My issue was the fact that my son's respect me so much that they would never ever disobey my instruction when it comes to spending money. My boyfriend basically disrespected my strict rule in front of my son and shown them a bad example. I confronted my bf about it and told him straight that he has to be a role model and be on the same level as me as a parent versus being my teenage boys friend and acting carelessly with my rules. He agreed and appologize.

Secondly, my boyfriend doesn't show much affection towards me. Everything is playful joking. I get poked and tickled and shot at with nurf guns etc. No seriousness. It pisses me off. We started dating 3 weeks ago. And he only had sex with me in the beginning. Now it seems he dodges the affection by using the playful tactics Instead. I feel like im with a bunch of kids. Im wondering if it's the age gap, the immaturity, etc. I dont want to mother my boyfriend. Any advice would help. Maybe I just need to move on.

[Hooo!]

What do you want?