Doesn't love me but cares A LOT for me?

[phinexX]

I need a lot of advice. I'm very troubled right now. My girlfriend told me one day that she lost feelings for me and didn't love me anymore. She told me that she saw me "as a friend more than a lover". That was sort of an ouch moment for me. After a long hard battle attempting to convince her, I finally gave in and broke up within her. Though that is the case, she still seems to care A LOT about me. She tells me to have fun and adds okie at the end of her message to confirm that I'm having fun. I'm so confused as to what she wants. Why does she care so much about me? Is it possible that the time she told me she didn't love me was wrong? Did she actually love me but not realize it herself? I mean, the beginning of love is the honeymoon phase. Once that phase disappears, aren't lovers just... best of friends? Could she have possibly only lost her honeymoon phase? It seems to make the most sense to me if that's the case. Eventually that honeymoon phase disappears in a person, and people have to realize that. maybe my girlfriend didn't realize it. Maybe she': actually still in love with me. I hope that's the case, because I still love her so much, and I want to be with her still. The only reason I broke up was for her happiness, but maybe that isn't the answer. maybe she's confused at what she wants? Maybe she'a actually still in love but doesn't realize it. Is it possible that she'll love me again? What do I do? Can this girl become my girlfriend again one day?

[madotnw_nihs]

No one knows if she will love you again someday. I'd say most people who fall out of love and separated does not get back together. You also can't micro analyze every little word she says to you. Caring that you are ok and adding "okie" does not really mean anything. Do you know the reason she fell out of love with you?

[phinexX]

I asked her and she doesn't exactly know herself the true cause of it. All she says is that her feelings faded. She told me she might've gotten a little bored of me. That': enough to fall out of love? I don't know.. Is boredom a good excuse to break up?

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I know it isn't her fault but I do want to figure out if she actually stopped loving me. She keeps telling me that she's sorry for all this happening. She tells me she's sorry for ruining my day or week or month. I know she didn't want to break up, but at the same time she did. I'm so confused at where her heart wants her to go if she cares so much about me but doesn't love me.

[phinexX]

ALSO she tells me that she misses me so I don't know. I'm very confused

[pcmaster]

Cut the fcking contact with the girl. She dont knows what she wants and only confuses you. Once you are back together she will break up with you.

[Yadi]

Yeah man you blatantly got it. Honeymoon over and she wants that excitement again. There are three ways that I would approach this -

1) Tell her honestly that; "love isn't exciting, it's relaxing, peaceful. That initial excitement always fades. Regardless of what the movies say." You two clearly still love each other. If she can't understand it then she could well go through the rest of her life chasing this excitement and could end up sad and alone. Usually though, people realise this when they reach 30 years old or so.

2) Pretend that you are not interested. That you have moved on. This is bound to rekindle that initial excitement. However, this is dishonest and will only work for so long and so is not preferable. But, it can give you more time to achieve number 1.

3) This is the one that I myself would try to do. I would try to move on, and still hope that we will be together. I would be completely honest with her. Tell her she is a fool and that I still care about her loads. And then I'd start going out looking for another partner. This is the perfect solution in my eyes. A combination of 1 and 2.

[rjkennedy]

Dude, stop fighting it! The battle is over! Time to move on. By your own admission you said she lost interest in you. Trust me, a woman knows what she wants, and that 'want' doesn't include you. She said ya'll can be friends, but not lovers. Accept that and take it from there. Time will tell if the 'friendship' will develop into much more. Like fine wine, it'll only get better with age.