What is "Chemistry", really?

[CleanCut]

Hey guys,

So, one thing that seems to be a common theme when women bail out of a relationship with me is they say they don't feel strong enough "chemistry". I feel this is very unfair as that is not something a guy has control over and I believe that real chemistry is built over time, but no one ever gives me enough time in a relationship to even do that.

Is there any real way to "create chemistry" or is a women saying they don't feel chemistry just their indirect "women way" of saying they are not attracted to you anymore?

To me, most all relationships I start I feel have chemistry as we typically both really enjoy our time together and they never show any signs of being unhappy until they just bail on me with no other excuse other than the chemistry complaint, just seems like BS to me.

What are your guys's thoughts on this whole chemistry thing?...

[pcmaster]

I think girls need to be stimulated. Intelectualy talks and nice BS allt hat kind of stuff. Like say compliments to girls and bring flowers, do stupid and crazy things for them. Like say - you have prettiest face I seen on a girl.
In pictures you look like pretty reserved cold guy. Like cool but not exactly cool just chill. Perhaps girls needs to spike their emotions. You date girls who are used to interesting guys so you need to be one too.

I liked this Max video, its pretty long but good one. Theres a lot more of him on youtube you might want to see.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mH9Sz65Qjwk&t=3902s

[CleanCut]

I don't think chemistry is that kind of thing as sometimes I get the chemistry excuse before even getting to a second date and I'm also a very warm and humorous guy in person. Also, I have dated some for months and every time we were together, we had a great time and always kept things fun with different activities and such. When I'm in a relationship, everything seems blissful on both ends until they just bail for no apparent reason and most don't even give me a chance to get involved with them beyond the first couple of dates.

[pcmaster]

Its hard to tell whats the problem since I never dated you or interacted with you.

But try to aim lower. Go for older less beautiful girls, girls with problems, like smokers or church goers.

[CleanCut]

Its hard to tell whats the problem since I never dated you or interacted with you.

But try to aim lower. Go for older less beautiful girls, girls with problems, like smokers or church goers.

No way man, I have my standards and having no girl is way better than dealing with a messed up girl. Also, both smokers and overly religious people absolutely disgust me.

Anyways, getting back to the question at hand here; what do you guys really think chemistry is and is it even something you can actually do anything about?

[madotnw_nihs]

I think the word "chemistry" means the spark/cohesiveness between two people. People will throw that word around when breaking up or declining dates because they don't have to squarely say they don't like you anymore. You can certainly feel there is chemistry with someone, yet that person doesn't feel the same about you. There is no invisible force.

[CleanCut]

Yep, that is what I figured. I sure wish there was some way of controlling/improving that, but guess there is just no helping it unfortunately

[Hooo!]

No at the above. If you are not getting results where other people are there’s a huge chance you are just doing something wrong.
Typical indicator for a limiting belief or just for wrong behaviour or mind/skillset

And yes I agree that this is totally bullshit. You get the not enough chemistry because the woman in question cannot or wants not to tell you what she is really feeling or not feeling.
Meaning you miss something(s) that makes them feel good and loved around you. I suggest trying to worm it out of them somehow what it is

[pcmaster]

You date beautiful girls and thats where chemistry comes from for you. They dont have to do anything special cause their good actions are multiplied in your eyes. You might even fall under beautiful women spell.

But lets face it, if you are not super amazing looking guy you need to do more than them. You need interesting outgoing personality what you havent developed yet. Thats why you simply arent that interesting to girls you date. They need to be impressed more. What can you ask from a girl if you cant make her feel same way about you as you feel about her? Dont change how she thinks, change how she feels and she will change what she thinks.

[CleanCut]

Well, I am out going and confident and display that in person well, but I'm not going to act different than myself just to get a girl as that won't last either. I am who I am and I'm a great guy; women just need to wake up and realize that and if they don't then they don't deserve to be with me anyways. I'm a quality guy and am not desperate by any means...