Longing to be loved 2

[TheEvilJester]

Nö a relationship doesn’t just come naturally

That’s like expecting a child to naturally grow up alright somehow
Or like having the best job naturally somehow

If you want something you have to work or refine it
Relationships just like friendships involve work
As relationships are more intimate and face more difficulties on a daily basis it requires compromises and work
Just like a child does.

Definitely a good point. If I said that, then I definitely think I misspoke, as that conclusion is definitely not what I meant to imply. All relationships (heck, even friendships) do take work. So, maybe the more apt description would be to say they should come SOMEWHAT naturally. Or maybe the even better description is they shouldn't feel FORCED. Yes, early in a relationship there is a bit of awkwardness and some time needed to sort of feel each other out and get into the right groove..... but it shouldn't feel like one party is having to force the other to come along. Or even that both are trying to force a connection, because even if both ARE putting in effort a relationship may not be right.

I am just speaking generally, though. Hopefully that isn't the case here for PC. But, I do definitely agree with your thoughts here. Relationships don't succeed without work... but they also shouldn't always feel like nothing BUT work.

I think you are resisting change Jester because before said you are happy and dont want to risk to lose it. You are comfortable in your routine and deadpool mask but eventually if you want to be happy you will have to take that mask off like in that movie. With that I mean if you will ever want to attract right girl then you will have to open up to her, not exactly your biggest secrets but your general life story and how you get to the place you are right now.

I don't really know if "resisting change" is the right description either. I am not one to resist change. Change is inevitable and I often welcome it. (That said, I DO appreciate that you care enough to speculate and want to help me.) I DO believe that the problem is at least in part me. I don't think I'm doing anything blatantly wrong, per se, I think it is probably more just what I'm NOT doing. And you are definitely right that I need to become more comfortable with the face in the mirror after the Deadpool mask comes off. No doubt about that. But, you know the funny thing there? That Deadpool mask is actually helping me to get there like I NEVER have before in my life. I'm not there yet, but I am working on it. I am SO much better than I have ever been. Right now, that is good enough for me. Right now, I am good enough for me.

Thanks for your support Jester. I really think there is a chance and it would be impossible to waste too much time since I dont have much time to waste since Im 28 already and have plans for the next years ahead. I cant give this years thats for sure.
But so far things looks hopeful. After all Christmas is coming the time of miracles lol. Only thing is if this works out I would have to but a christmas present lol. So maybe will save that what I bought her when we just started dating in spring. Havent still gave that thing to her, cause as always when I buy something on ebay girl is gone before thing arrives.

Hey, 28 isn't bad. You are still young. I mean, I am older than you and still trying to figure this life thing out. Honestly, I don't think any of us ever really figure it out completely. We just all make the best of it we can. So, make your journey a great one. You deserve it. Hopefully things go well with this particular gal. If not, though, do your best not to sweat it too much. Just move on and there will be somebody else. Hopefully you don't even have to find that out though. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.... Good luck!

[pcmaster]

Yeah still figuring life out. Now more figuring out relationships, especially with girls.

Its cool that DeathPool mask helped you become comfortable with yourself. I think its like makeup to girls. - You put that thing on and become confident.
Now when you are accepted in cons you feel like you are accepted in life, in society.
Its like people who change something about their appearance with plastic surgery and then start thrive in life, cause they feel great about themselves now.

[TheEvilJester]

Actually, that's a really good analogy, PC. I hadn't thought of it like that. In many ways my mask is like makeup to many women. ...Well, except that it isn't socially acceptable for me to wear my mask in most general public situations. LOL! Imagine me wearing it to work.

Honestly, though... it's more that the Deadpool mask has helped me to accept ME. Even when the mask comes off. I don't really care all that much whether or not society in general accepts me. I am weird, and what's more, I LIKE that about me. So, people not exactly knowing what to think of you kind of just comes with the territory. I am used to it. The people who DO accept me despite or even BECAUSE of who I am are the kind of peeps I'd want in my life anyway. The rest I don't need.

My exact path wouldn't necessarily work for everybody, of course. It is just what worked for me. Or, rather what has been working lately. Life is a crazy roller coaster ride. You have to enjoy the good times when they come because inevitably there will be a plummet. But, just persevere and another high time is right around the corner.

On a side note.... Come to think of it, a roller coaster isn't really the best analogy for life. The BEST part of roller coasters are when you come crashing down. LOL!

Anyway, I think as much as we are all trying to figure out life, I think relationships are even more perplexing. You'll get there, PC. You're a fun dude. We get to see that here, you just need to be able to show that to the right gal. Hopefully this particular young lady will prove to be the right one. Good luck in that.

[pcmaster]

Thanks for saying that I am fun dude. Yesterday I showed some of the fun side of me to the girl.
Talk about emotional roller coasters lol. I can get emotional roller coaster every day if I want.

I dont like going up on those coasters too cause going up means fall will follow. Same with love, you choose to go downhill at the same time you fall in love going uphill. Thats why I dont go too high lol.

You are right Jester. I thing good people accept you and those who don't are low quality people ussualy.
Makes sense that you accept youself. Thats where everything begins. Good things come out of it. Also feeling lonely maybe means thst one dont love people around himself. But you seem to love everyone here so guess you never feel lonely.

[TheEvilJester]

So showing your fun side to her didn't go well? Or it did? Not sure I follow. If you want to, feel free to share details here. Though, if you'd rather not I also understand. Anyway, you should never avoid the good times in life just because you know there will be an inevitable crash. I mean, it definitely is good to have a level head about it. Like, you don't want to get too crazy into somebody too quickly, for example. But, you should let yourself enjoy the good times. Yes, often in life there will be an inevitable crash.... but that just makes the good times THAT much more worth celebrating.

Anyways, I think we all feel lonely from time to time. It's a struggle I have faced my whole life. I haven't really ever fit in, so it is hard for me NOT to feel lonely. But, these days I've been great in that regard because I've come to appreciate myself. I'm the only company I NEED. Beyond that, the rest is just icing on the cake. ...And I happen to have quite a bit of icing. I have plenty of good people in my life. I am missing that one special somebody, but I've been learning to accept that. And, honestly, maybe some day life will prove me wrong and she and I will find each other. I'm not closing myself off to it. I'm just learning to appreciate ME regardless and it has been such a rewarding journey lately.

Please feel free to keep sharing the newest developments in your life with us, PC. I am sincerely hoping to hear a lot of good news from you in the very near future. You deserve a great gal, just as that gal deserves to get to find you. I hope you find each other very soon.

[janelove121]

Contact Dr. DUGO on E-mail: dugo_d()yahoo.com, he has the spiritual charm to make everything right back for you. Trust me

[pcmaster]

So showing your fun side to her didn't go well? Or it did? Not sure I follow. If you want to, feel free to share details here.

We just had a fun chat for a moment so thats how showing fun side went.

Anyway Smackie I said I need to start fresh and Im starting to think she was right cause we still havent met despite that yesterday she said she want to meet but she have to look after brother dauther(shes like 3 years old) So we didnt met cause her brother took his kid back like near midnight but we planned to in the streets for independence day celebrations that started like 5pm and lasted till 7pm.
Now I think I should have suggested to go all 3 there together with the little one.
Anyway I wrote good moorning this moorning and no reply. Got a little pissed off so wrote good night at like 5pm and she seen both messages but havent replied. It just seems shes not interested enough.
I have a feeling that these girls I been meeting have enough friends so they dont really need me and Im not so interesting as a boyfriend material as well. I need some girl who needs me to who I would be important. Perhaps those previous girls need icing on a cake but Im like shit. " Im a shit, shot but Im your shit" as said some comedian while humping other guy leg. So fck it I think I been aiming too high. This girl works as a doctors assistant but Im just a factory worker. Actually even girls from my factory is not interested in me lol. On a positive note girls on a street been looking at me. Yesterday a really beautiful girl been smiling at me and didnt stopped looking at me while I was passing her by. And today I looked at few girls and they been staring back. So Im not invisible anymore. 167 days of nofap been useful as it seems.

Also I been messaging with this girl from dating site on FB. She lives like 20 miles away from me and it would be possible to meet as it seems, today she agreed with idea to meet. She works in chips factory and I think its super cool to make food. But today she have only day off this week and shes been drinking for hours. So thats a downside but still I think shes worth one date, not looking to start LDR here. I prefer local girls like 3 miles and less, lazy I know but dont judge my fat lazy ass.
Planned to be like machine on approaching girls in public by the end of the summer but still need to man up to approach any girl. With balls life would be easy.

P.S. Now listening to this song, find the line "Love you more, than those bitches before" funny lol.

youtube.com/watch?v=Ai5giAL_b3A

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, I mean it certainly sounds to me like maybe you'd be better off moving on. Again, that has to be up to you... but it sounds like this gal isn't putting enough effort into any kind of relationship with you. And... hey... if she's not interested that is perfectly fine... but she should at least be honest with you about it. To me, it is the acting interested and then never following up on it that I can never forgive in people.

So, maybe it is time to throw in the towel and look for somebody else. Again, up to you. Heck, you could even start looking elsewhere but still leave the door open for her if she's interested. If you want. Again, I think I'd personally say it may be time just to close that door, but you do have to do what works for you.

As it is, though, try not to get too hung up on whether you are "shooting too high" so to speak. I have always felt that is kind of BS. People from all walks of life can be compatible. I mean, maybe if you were exclusively only looking for dates with women who are doctors, lawyers, etc. that may be having too high of standards... but I'd say the same thing to anybody. Whether you were a factory worker or a brain surgeon. Don't close yourself off to any chances. It's not wrong to have certain ideas of what you think your perfect match would/could be, but I'm just saying don't limit yourself. You never know with whom you may wind up really hitting it off.

Good luck, bro! Seriously... you SO need to get out there and get your piece of the pie. I need to live vicariously through you. LOL! I'm kidding, of course. Do it for you.... I just want to be here being your cheerleader. (Not literally a cheerleader, though. Me in that outfit? ....Yeah... NO! LOL!)

[pcmaster]

Thanks Jester. So you saying Im not shooting too high. Thats nice.
Today I met with a girl. She wrote to me first about meeting 5'o clock. We met and spend great time together walking and talking. Held hands entire time. At the start I was like - something always missing a little. She - what? I took her hand and said- thats already better. I even made her laught once and was just being myself. At the e d I hugged her tightly and kissed on lips. Yeah alpha male, kiss on a lips not cheek after all this time. Got a small piece of that pie you were talking about.

[Hooo!]

if You are doing the matcho routine you can as well Bridge repeatedly and end up at her place

[pcmaster]

if You are doing the matcho routine you can as well Bridge repeatedly and end up at her place

What does you mean with bridge?

[Hooo!]

I meant location bridging or “bouncing”
Turns out I’m a little outdated on the correct terminology.
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/the-bounce-time-bridge-vt38581.html

[TheEvilJester]

Thanks Jester. So you saying Im not shooting too high. Thats nice.
Today I met with a girl. She wrote to me first about meeting 5'o clock. We met and spend great time together walking and talking. Held hands entire time. At the start I was like - something always missing a little. She - what? I took her hand and said- thats already better. I even made her laught once and was just being myself. At the e d I hugged her tightly and kissed on lips. Yeah alpha male, kiss on a lips not cheek after all this time. Got a small piece of that pie you were talking about.

More so, I'm just saying that phrase gets over-used/abused. Like I said, maybe if you were exclusively only open to dating super models or rich doctors or something like that I'd say sure.... maybe your standards are too high. I could certainly be wrong, but it doesn't sound to me like you've been setting your sights too high. You've just maybe wound up with the wrong people, or maybe at times when even you just weren't ready.

Sounds like you and this new gal hit it off pretty well. Hopefully that continues to go well. Good luck on that. It's a delicate balance, but you'll get there. You don't want to rush things too much, but you also don't want to go at too slow a pace and risk the other person losing interest. Just take it naturally. No two people and no two relationships are exactly the same.

[pcmaster]

Its been pretty quiet on love life for me last 2 days so lets better talk about you Jester.
What exactly hold you back to be sexual with girls? Like wheres the problem to say something sexual or give compliment to a girl you see on your game club or work or comic con? Whats the problem to say Hi! To unknown pretty girl on a street?
What hold you back to showing interest in a girl directly in real life? Cause I know you been interested in girls on dating sites. You liked when twins put your arms around them. So you like that kind of stuff but you was not the one to make a first step. Also can being alone for so long is you hidding deep pain and fear asociating with relationships or sex?
You say that you are not holding against opportunity, that you are open if something happens but can something really happen by itself right now? Isnt you at the age when theres less opportunities and if you want something you havs to take it? Do you really think being so independent as you are now is not a way to stay alone? Dont want to attack you just trying to figure out why you lived alone for so long and why you dont crave love and relationship like I do.

[Hooo!]

Oh he does crave it
He’s just scared of being hurt