Girlfriend has personal problems and I cannot help her.

[Andrewtay]

Hello everyone, I am a new member and I have read many threads from this site and the advice present here is wonderful. I am very excited to be art of this community.

I have been dating this girl for over 2 months, before this we have been close friends for more than a year. Our relationship has been progressing extremely well and she is the most amazing woman I have ever met.

My girlfriend has very serious personal problems. Family problems. Her mother is the source of all her problems, I can't go into detail about what the problems are because she doesn't tell me the whole story.

What I know is that her mum is too controlling and her mum doesn't trust her. Her mum doesn't approve of our relationship because of my girlfriends dating history and hence her mum doesn't trust her.

She tells me that the atmosphere at home is bad and that she doesn't want to stay at home.

My problem is that I can't make her feel better or help her with her problems. When I want to ask about her problems, I get afraid to do it because making her talk about it a little or think about it makes her feel worse than what she already is feeling.

On the other hand, when I ask her about it and she tells me. I can't make her feel better and she says that she feels that she cannot confide in me anymore.

Both this scenarios often end up in a big fight and always come close to ending the relationship. She says that she can't understand why she feels this way and she doesn't know how to help herself. And that she can't help but expect me to make her feel better. She also says that she feels bad about making me go through this when it isn't my fault.

I am really lost about what to do here. She has serious emotional problems that are caused by the problems that she has. She has considered getting professional help abut hasn't done so. I am going to convince her to go and I will go with her. If it's possible I need help from a woman's perspective on how to make her feel slightly better.

All I can do is listen and then be there for her. Hug her and give her a should to lean on but that isn't enough.

Thanks so much in advance for anyone trying to help me!

[janelove121]

Contact Dr. DUGO on E-mail: dugo_d()yahoo.com, he has the spiritual charm to make everything right back for you. Trust me

[Kirrilee]

Wow, if my partner was half the guy you appear to be then she is one lucky girl. You are right, it sounds like she needs someone professional to talk to though. From your point of view, there isn't much else you can do but what you are already doing, listening and offering emotional support. It is up to her to seek further help. Good luck

[madotnw_nihs]

Mothers especially Asian Moms can put a real strain on relationship. I don't want use this blanket statement, but it is mostly true. Her gf has to understand the behavior her mother exudes will continue to occur with future bfs and husband(s) as well. Eventually she will need to stand up for herself and find happiness on her own. Does her mom have an ideal partner characteristics for her daughter?

[Snow White]

Asian mom? What did I miss? I agree that some professional help would be very helpful. You are in a tough situation. There really isn't much you can do. It is important that she knows you love her and support her and will always listen, but it is up to her to fix this for herself and your relationship. It is not easy to stand up to a controlling parent, but it must be done. This is where a therapist would be of great help.

[madotnw_nihs]

The user displayed a singapore flag. TAY is also a last name in SG, so I made that assumption. I apologize to the poster if I am wrong.