First: you are not in love
It feels this way I know but you have developed a serious crush/ obsession
People call this oneitis
There are a lot of cures out there
Second: I do not understand what you want? Sympathy? You have 2 options: leave your situation at what it is or go do something about it( like meeting him)
Choose
If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.