I really like this girl, but she is out of my league.

[jordano00]

Hi everyone,

Im a male, 20 y.o, never had a girlfriend before, I mean im not that bad looking, like 6-7/10? I am just not good at keeping conversations or starting one. At the uni that I go to, there is this girl that I'm attracted to. I just think of her everyday for several months now.

She is a graduate student, who is a math tutor in my uni. I'm an undergrad, majoring in computer science. I go to the tutoring center almost everyday to see her, and I use my math homework as a "reason" to see her.

I got her number, so there is that.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to just keep the routine of seeing her everyday to help me with my homework, I want to ask her out. Whenever I look at her, I feel calm. Looking at her simply makes me smile.

At first I told myself that, " This is fine, as long as I get to be next to her, I am fine with this." but, not anymore, I am starting to like her even more.

What should I do? please.

[madotnw_nihs]

So why is she out of your league? You will need to get use to communicating to girls, so there is no better time to start. Are you actually getting tutoring from her? Be careful and not just jump into casual conversation during the session. I would try to schedule time with her at the end of her shift so you can speak with her afterwards and maybe go get a cup of coffee or something.

[jordano00]

She is like a 11/10 imo. thats why I see her as out of my league. How do I get used to communicating to girls? any advise on that please?
Yep, she is helping me a lot, and the tutoring is not strict like she is a teacher and I am a student type of environment, it is more like student and student environment, so I sometimes strike a small conversation with her.

I would try to schedule time with her at the end of her shift so you can speak with her afterwards and maybe go get a cup of coffee or something.

I am scared that she might reject that idea of asking to speak to her after her shift ends. and hypothetically, that she say yes, i don't know what to talk to her about.

Im sorry, I am an insecure person.

[madotnw_nihs]

looks isn't everything. Girls usually like guys to be confident and will win you points. It sucks that you have to dive right in, but if she is single, you don't have that much time to lose. Do you have any close female friends that you can talk to? Cousins or sisters? You have any comp sci projects you can team up with a girl? Try tinder and get some practice that way. Remember communication is more about listening and understadning, so don't blabber about yourself the whole time.

[jordano00]

I have a female friend that I talk to most times. How do I become confident? I dont want to look like a d-bag

reading articles online about how to be confident does not help me either since I cannot relate to what the articles are saying.

I try not to talk about myself all the time and I think I am doing pretty well doing so. I know that a person likes to talk about themselves, so how do I turn the conversation to being about her? Whenever I think of questions like that, they tend to be closed-ended questions, so most of the time I only get a yes or a no for an answer whenever I ask about themselves.

[madotnw_nihs]

With the studying you have been doing together, you must have picked up things that she is interested in outside of math. Do you know why she is tutoring math? Is it because she needs money? Does she want to become a TA? Is she getting experience because wants to go into education. These answers will open the door to your conversation that isn't a "boolean" answer. Just try to act natural and not get flustered.

[jordano00]

She told me that she likes to play video games. so far, thats the only thing i know i remember. We are not exactly that close. I only know a thing or two about her. I would want to be close to her.

I haven't asked her why she is tutoring, since I don't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong. Should I ask her why she chose her field of study?

What are ways that I should do to at least get a little closer to her?

So far, I sometimes grab(more like touch) her by the arm, to try to be close to her.

[madotnw_nihs]

Sure, ask what her major is. That's pretty common question to ask. And you are in CS and she likes video games, go down that route. Step up your game!!! =)

[jordano00]

thanks! I really want to ask her out to get coffee, but I don't know how to direct the situation to that.

I tried asking her before, by saying, can I buy you coffee? its for helping me study for my exam, but she politely declined saying that it is her job to help me.

[madotnw_nihs]

Next time just ask her to get coffee together not buy her the coffee. Since you have her number, just drop her a text sometime.

[pcmaster]

You need to start somewhere. Confidence will come from experience. Also nofap site could get you started.
If shes talking to you then you are good looking enough. Man don't have to be beautiful, man have to be smart. My married friend told me - look weight or age dont mean anything if you feel good with the person and have something to talk about.
Maybe give her a compliment and ask some questions before asking out to prepare her a little. That way she will understand what you see in her and see that you're interested.

[jordano00]

Thanks guys! I will see if I can meet her tomorrow and update you guys on any moves I make! wish me luck!

[Disposable-Acct]

Ask her if she'd be interested in learning how to push and pop from a stack. (Non-CS majors won't get it.)

CS jokes aside, good luck man! I know what you're going through all to well.

[jordano00]

hahaha i got that one, but unfortunately, she is a math major lol.

unfortunately, i didnt see her today, she's probably busy this week due to midterms. what should I do?

[madotnw_nihs]

give her space. midterms are normally stressful for people.