He Seems Unsure

[Purple38]

I've been dating a man for just about 3 months now and about a week ago, I told him that I was very much interested in him and I think I could grow to love him and I'd like to show him what that means from me.

We are both nearing 40 so we're not young inexperienced adults here. In previous weeks he asked if I'd let him love me and went on to say that he wanted a serious relationship and a woman in his life. He had been single for about 3 years before meeting me.

Since I have reveled my feelings he has continued to reach out to me but he has not addressed what I said. He says he's not ignoring me but I feel like he's stalling.

I don't want to pressure him at all, but in almost 3 months, shouldn't you have a clue about where you'd like to go with someone or not? I don't know whether to be patient or consider his silence on the issue my answer and move on. Any thoughts?

[GLYC]

Well, what you said wasn't really suggestive to a relationship in my opinion. This is a great example of how men and women communicate differently.
Us men are direct and use logic, we take words at face value generally and moreso than women.
Meaning, we are almost like dogs and require more simple language, we work better with loving commands at times in all honesty.

What are you looking for from him with that answer? Because I honestly don't even know. What is there for him to address?
Are you looking for him to ask you to be his girlfriend or ask about a relationship?
To me, as a man, that statement you used doesn't make that clear.

After 3 months of routine dating, yeah, I think a person should know whether they are interested in a relationship or not, that could be a walk away situation with you saying call me if you ever change your mind. You can talk to him about that last paragraph directly, say that you're looking for a relationship, and if that's not what he's looking for, you need to continue looking for that. You can tell him that If he changes his mind, he should get in contact with you.

3 months, I thought you were both already dating, or that's what you said, I guess that's what I imply going out with to being.

[Purple38]

I should've included that I asked his thoughts on what I said. I also reminded him that I've been by myself for some time and had been married before, so I wasn't in a rush to check that box just for the sake of doing so. I had a sincere interest in him and that I chose to want him to spend more time with and to explore the possibility of loving him.

- - - Updated - - -

I did ask him where he thought he saw things going with us as well

[GLYC]

Honestly, that would be a dream response for a guy like me with a woman I like. I would be upfront and tell her I feel the same, or at least how I feel.
I would've asked what you meant by where things were going, and I would have clarified as the man if that meant you wanted to be in a relationship with me.
And bam, it happened.

It's harder for men to say what they're feeling, he's probably just taking time to collect his thoughts. I'd be patient for the time being.
I've had women misinterpret my periods of silence as me not caring, there's another woman or i'm playing games when in reality I cared a lot.
It sucks.

Now I make the conscious decision to express myself a little bit more so that that miscommunication doesn't exist, although naturally I don't want to do this over text messages or whatever. I'm more action oriented. But women start to ask around, ask their female friends for advice, next thing you know is that I'm being misunderstood and getting rejected because I didn't express myself enough. When in reality, there was just a lack of communication between us.

I think people should look more at people with positive intent, be aware when you're being used or aren't valued, but assume the best.

If he stalls too long or doesn't want the same things, state your needs, and tell him to contact you if he ever feels the same. Then walk away.

[Hooo!]

And he did give no answer at all even after asking ?