I'm in love with two different guys....

[princesszandra]

Please... I've been pushed to the brink and I just need suggestions for how to handle this.

Two years ago, I got together with a boy who'd I'd been friends with for a long time... I'd also been crushing on him. I'll call him "A." So A and I realize we are in love, and we become a couple... even though he was about to go away on a religious mission for 2 years. He went away, and we wrote letters and everything and were still in love... we planned to possibly get married when he returned.

He's been gone for almost 2 years, and suddenly, someone from my past popped up. I'll call him "B." B is someone I'd known since 5th grade, and had a crush on him from then all teh way through High school, until I'd met A and B had moved away across the country. B and I started talking on AIM and on the phone about 2 or 3 months ago, and getting really close. We became good friends. But as we opened up to each other, old feelings that I'd have for B have resurfaced, and I really, really love him now. B has recently broken up with his girlfriend, and is now single.

So here's my problem... I still have feelings for A... and when he gets home ina month I don't know what will happen with our relationship. But I also have very intense feelings for B, and even though I don't think he loves me back, I really want to tell him that I love him... but what if A found out?

Should I tell B that I love him?
What would I do if A found out?
Would admitting my feelings ruin my friendship with B?

PLEASE HELP! Anything is helpful....

[shh!]

You sound very young, and my guess is that if your b/f is going on missions, you ARE young, since they usually can only get boys just out of high school to do this. Assuming I am right, you are WAY too young to be thinking about getting married, and you have been two years without a boyfriend around. No wonder you are looking elsewhere! I'd say that "A" needs to be told that your former relationship has dissolved, and he will need to start over again with you if he is still interested in you. If "B" lives across the country, then I wouldn't consider that a real option as I am not a fan of long distance relationships.

[whaywardj]

I agree with this post

[shh!]

I agree with you agreeing with that post.
:-D

[whaywardj]

The two most powerful words a man can utter: "Yes, dear."

[shh!]

I agree with this post.
(giggle)

[whaywardj]

Ahem. Uh. Well. Yes, dear, but back to post #1 for a moment...

[whaywardj]

Princess: I'd say you just have to tell A your feelings for him have changed. Anything beyond that isn't really his concern.

[princesszandra]

Princess: I'd say you just have to tell A your feelings for him have changed. Anything beyond that isn't really his concern.

Well, you see, i still do love A. But he's been gone so long, and I haven't really been able to talk to him like I can talk to B. You know?

I do think that part of the reason I've developed feelings for B is because I haven't been able to have a 'relationship' with A since he left...at least, not like I used to have. that's why this is so confusing... I care about A a lot, but I care about B, too!

Yes, I suppose I am young...20 (assuming you think that's really young =). I don't want to go and get married right away or anything, but... if he's the right one....

[whaywardj]

Look at it this way: How dishonest do you want to be with either A or B?

(Gawd. Referring to them as "A" and "B" makes me feel like an item in a consumer products marketing survey..."Do you prefer the taste of product 'A' or product 'B'"?)