Hi all...

I'm sure my 'issue' is a common one but it's the first time I've ever experienced it so I'm hoping one or two of you kind and patient souls will read this and offer me some sage advice... please! To give a background... I recently started seeing a guy from work.. I'm based in the office and he's in sales so we don't cross paths in the workplace that often.. over the course of the past couple of months he and I were becoming closer. He would call / email me on cute non work-related things to the point where one day he had called on his day off to tell me he'd found an old article I had written online and wanted to let me know (much to the amusement of my colleagues sitting near me)... the interactions we had gave me the confidence one evening to add him on Facebook... he accepted instantly but didn't message so after a few days I decided I'd make the first move and get in touch with him... it ended up being a conversation into the early hours of the following morning and he was quick to tell me how much he had liked me and wanted to meet up...

A couple of days later he called by and things went quickly from that point to meeting up every other day.. he lives close to 2 hours drive away from me but he kept wanting to meet up and was happy to drive all that way.. things moved pretty fast and it was clear we were extremely attracted to one another.. he stayed with me for 2 of the nights (in the same bed).. which led to a lot of "stuff" but not sex as we both wanted to wait... the things he was saying to me and how he was describing his feelings blew my mind.. I had never had someone express their feelings so openly so quickly and honestly I got swept away by it... it made me fall for him fast.. a lot faster than perhaps if we had gone at my natural pace...

So cut to the past few days... after staying over on the second night he went on to work.. we knew he had a couple of days of manic work and that it would be stressful.. He was still texting me but it wasn't long before the almost hourly texts had wittled away to long delays between his messages and replies.. at the same time I was in work and he was making calls (as is the norm) to work colleagues, one of whom is a female colleague who sits in front of me... they both often have long non-work related chats too and they were friends on Facebook before I was.. it had played on my mind that perhaps they had had something before me..

As the day wore on he was growing more distant... by that night he finally called me but his tone on the phone was jarringly cold... It took me by surprise how much tension there was between us all of a sudden.. I couldnt understand how he was able to be so bubbly and sweet to my colleague that day but so off with me and cold... so (perhaps stupidly) I asked him if there had been something between them as it was something I felt I should know.. his reaction was baaad.. he took it like I was critizing how he deals with colleagues and immediately his mind started racing and jumping to all kinds of conclusions saying things like he couldnt change and maybe we had jumped into things... I tried to clarify for him my reasons for asking were mainly to avoid embarrassment for me and not anything to do with how he behaves towards work colleagues but he was so busy being defensive he didnt seem to hear me...

By the next day he was even more distant... he had a work event that day and he had planned to get out of there early and come see me that night and the next day we were going to a concert he had bought us tickets for (plans made before our rocky phone conversation)... that day he messaged me first thing asking how I was but then nothing until the afternoon... he eventually called me at 6pm and after some chit chat told me he was going to stay at the event and not come to see me afterall but that he'd come over early the next day so we could have the day together and then go to the concert... I was disappointed but tried to keep upbeat.. (even though at this point my stomach was churning from anxiety!)... I didn't hear anything from him for the rest of the evening..The following morning there was nothing.. I waited until 12pm before finally calling him to see if he was coming over.. he sounded happier on the phone and assured me he'd be over by 1.30pm... 1.30pm came and went and by 2.30pm he finally arrived.. he kissed me hello but kept asking me was I alright... I told him I'd been nervous all morning about seeing him and that I was getting a strange vibe even now.. I said that I didn't want to go to the concert feeling this distance between us and he was quick to agree it wasn't a good idea to go... so then we had 'the chat' where he brings up how he's worried we took things way too fast and that we work together and really need to take a step back to make sure its the right thing... he brought up about the phone conversation and how it had unnerved him but that he still wanted to 'get to know' me but just at a much slower pace... all of that I was in agreement with and I assured him I wouldve been happy to go slower but that in fairness to me I was just following his lead... I told him that if he wanted to end things now was the time and we could hopefully salvage a friendship but he kept saying that's not what he wanted...he reassured me all of what he had said to me was true and he still felt it all..

Finally after an hour of chatting back and forth we got round to what might be the real issue.. I had told him that although I understood him wanting to pump the brakes in the logical sense, I couldn't get my head around the suddenness of how cold he was emotionally and physically now.. it was feeling off and weird and that if this was what it was going to be like between us then I couldn't see the point in it... at that stage he blurted out about how he was embarrassed to admit it to me but that he suffers from anxiety and even in that moment he was feeling anxious in his stomach.. its something he's suffered with from a young age and when it happens he wants to push everyone away.. after a short time he then said he was going to leave but that he'd be in touch and reiterated how he didn't want to end things... he kissed me goodbye (a few times) before heading away...

he's got 2 weeks holidays now, the first week of which he's currently spending on a solo trip in Spain.. he kept saying how he needed the holiday or he would be in a very bad state of mind... when he left I felt so torn and upset and confused... I'm not sure what to think or believe... I'm struggling the most with his coldness in the moment and how he didnt even seem to want to be near me or touch me apart from the brief few kisses... my heart feels so hurt and I cantt help but feel duped...

My question is could it really all be down to anxiety or was he just spinning me a story? Why didn't he end things when I gave him the out??!!

Please somebody help me make sense of all of this!