Struggling!

[WiltedRose]

Me again after some hugs again really! It's a really big busy weekend but all the places I'm going to remind me of him ha although I know it's over and I'm not in pain anymore quite calm really but I could burst out crying at any given second! I'm so very scared I will never feel this way ever again!!! I did catch up with a guy from my school this week and he seems so decent but I just compared him to my ex I don't think I'll ever find that connection ever again and feel I shouldn't even look until he's out of my head but I fear this will never be the case grrrrrrrrr

[breathe123]

Is he still harassing you with calls, mails, texts & even showing up where you go? or are you only just thinking about him & he isn't bothering you those ways? Hard to move on if he still bothers you, and is desperately trying to keep himself in your head & heart. I think you'll have to block the guy, you need to heal. Can you take a day or two, even a weekend away with good girl friends or family to relax & not think about him? Being in the same place will only keep popping those memories of him for you. (( hugs))

[WiltedRose]

Thanks for the hugs & Nope there's been no contact for 2 weeks now it's just the places we've visited, I am going in a family holiday next Friday so that will do me the world of good. I just can't stop thinking and wondering about him I had a good week but yest and today I just want to cry i think things have happened this week and all I wanted to do was tell him about it!

[pcmaster]

2 weeks is nothing. Of course you still think of ex. Give it few more months at least.

Take care and take chances ! Enjoy life !

((Handshake))

[WiltedRose]

Thank you thank you thank you!!! It is really taking everything in me not to message him I don't understand what is happening to me I'm up and down and so very scared I'll never ever feel like I did with him again grrrrr I'm going out very soon to see right said Fred and ub40 haha and so want to bloody cheer up so badly

[lovemenot]

this is probably the hardest thing after a break up like this. the fear of never ever feeling that way with anyone again. I feel the exact same thing.
And I think in general I totally understand how you feel. I am calm and concentrated on my own stuff too but then everything always reminds me of him. And I feel literal pain in my heart every time I walk past the places we used to walk or make myself the same food we used to make with him and remember how insanely happy I was back then... and it just hurts so badly to think that it will never happen again...

But I know it will just take time. And you will eventually get over him. I think you should work on accepting that maybe it's even true that you won't find such connection ever again. I am trying to do the same. And think about it all with gratefulness. Try to be happy that it even happened instead of crying that it's over. There are tons of people who never in their entire lives feel such things. So even though it was short and it's over and it may even never happen again, try to be grateful that it even happened and accept the fact that it's over.

Breaking up with someone you were so close to is very similar to someone close to you dying, so it's only natural that it takes a long time to deal with the emotions and the healing process is very very difficult.

And I noticed it's even worse when I try to force myself to be happy if all I wanna do is cry about it. Just embrace whatever you feel and let it all out.

[WiltedRose]

Thanks so much [MENTION=78360]lovemenot[/MENTION]! I'm not doing that good today either but I did have a lot to drink at the concert and I'm tired and I did contact him grrrrr he opened it immediately but didn't reply which hasn't bothered me as much as me sending a message I'm currently speaking to a free listener hopefully they'll talk some sense into me to stop the urge to message him!

- - - Updated - - -

this is probably the hardest thing after a break up like this. the fear of never ever feeling that way with anyone again. I feel the exact same thing.
And I think in general I totally understand how you feel. I am calm and concentrated on my own stuff too but then everything always reminds me of him. And I feel literal pain in my heart every time I walk past the places we used to walk or make myself the same food we used to make with him and remember how insanely happy I was back then... and it just hurts so badly to think that it will never happen again...

But I know it will just take time. And you will eventually get over him. I think you should work on accepting that maybe it's even true that you won't find such connection ever again. I am trying to do the same. And think about it all with gratefulness. Try to be happy that it even happened instead of crying that it's over. There are tons of people who never in their entire lives feel such things. So even though it was short and it's over and it may even never happen again, try to be grateful that it even happened and accept the fact that it's over.

Breaking up with someone you were so close to is very similar to someone close to you dying, so it's only natural that it takes a long time to deal with the emotions and the healing process is very very difficult.

And I noticed it's even worse when I try to force myself to be happy if all I wanna do is cry about it. Just embrace whatever you feel and let it all out.

Please Can I ask how long it has been since your breakup [MENTION=78360]lovemenot[/MENTION]

[lovebroken]

No, no, don't text him it will only open all the floodgates and memories and old wounds you have with him. Is there any way you could join a social group in your city or something for sports to distract you through your summer and not have him sitting front of your mind always. If so busy doing other things he can't always be a first thought and you will miss him less and less. It will still hurt because you cared about him, but when you realize I didn't think about him as much today you'll feel happier. * Gives a few hugs to you *

[WiltedRose]

Thank you [MENTION=77017]lovebroken[/MENTION] have a gym membership and I did attend a class last week and last week I was doing so much better then this week how can I have regressed!! I know I should keep busy and try different things but I have lost all my motivation I didn't want to get up today! But I did and I'm now at work but all I can think about is him! What is wrong with me aagggggghhhhhhh!!

[lovemenot]

ou're welcome [MENTION=85848]WiltedRose[/MENTION] I hope it will help you.

It has been over 4 months since my break up. We broke up around the middle of March... But we are still staying "friends" and seeing each other almost every day. I hope it's ok if I went a little here...

I made a huge progress couple days ago..We were at my making home made pizzas and we had quite a lot of vine. I made him a bed at the guest room but I was laying there with him watching some movie. We started cuddling and made out a little but then I got up and went to my own room and didn't have sex with him. WOW! I was so proud of myself!

today we were studying at the library and while having lunch started talking about the future, and about our plans and he said he wants to travel and that the most important thing for him is his career and making tons of money so he can feel secure and free and I got his feeling that I am nowhere in his future plans...So when he asked me about my future I said career is also important to me but in a few years I hope to meet someone I can start a family with...etc.. we both got really depressed after lunch.. Me because I felt I wasn't in his future plans and he I don't know why... So we went to have a beer and then came to my place again to make pizzas (he makes really good ones) and had couple of more beers and we ended up making out. A lot.
And he really really wanted to sleep with me. Kept saying that he wished he had more time till the last bus and so on..But then I said it's actually good that the bus is this early cause otherwise it would end up badly again....And then when he finally left he said "I hope you won't regret making out with me.." And I said "It's not the making out I will regret" And he said "what then?" And I said "the same as always" meaning I will regret us not being together... I feel really bad now.

I was doing ok with being just friends with him. But he is extremely attracted to me and it is so damn hard to resist him.... And I am just so messed up at this moment.

Sorry I am talking about my own issues at your post [MENTION=85848]WiltedRose[/MENTION]. But it's all just so messed up... I pity myself atm.

[WiltedRose]

Don't be daft [MENTION=78360]lovemenot[/MENTION] we're all here for each other! I really don't know how you do it though see him most days.

I'm up and down like a yoyo I felt so angry and used this morning I even composed a message to him but I don't send it I thought I am better then that and plus I'm probably just dissecting everything and overthinking!! I feel alot better though for writing things down and 7 cups has help me too

[lovemenot]

that's it.
Just texted him that our situation no longer satisfies me and doesn't give me any joy and that we shouldn't see each other anymore.

I literally feel my stomach twisting inside...gonna be sick. but also feel so much stronger. It took two of my friends convincing me for two days to do so and I finally did it. everyone was always advising me to do this.

though it's hard to even think at this moment.

[WiltedRose]

Stay strong love you will feel calm in a few days just speak to your friends or rant on here!

[Hooo!]

I know this shit feeling.
You will get used to it and in time you will learn to have joy and laughter again in your life too

[WiltedRose]

It's unbearable today! I just want to message him and tell him how much I love and miss him, I can't stop crying I don't want to get out of bed! I'm supposed to be packing for my holidays on Friday I'm going to be so miserable I swear the pain it getting worse not better!!!