Need Advice badly. What should I do??

[Jman7]

Basically, I met this girl when I was fifteen years old(Im just about 19 now). The relationship basically structured itself around lies. She told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years so we started dating and fooling around ect.. I caught her in a lie and it turns out that she was still dating the guy. I was young and very stupid, so we continued our thing. She had a very manipulative way about her and I was basically strung along for a good year while she was with this other guy.

I tried breaking it off a few times, but she threatened me with suicide... Its crazy I know. Basically he winds up breaking up w/ her and about 6months to a year later we start going out. Then she winds up cheating on me at the beginning of our relationship with her old boyfriend(The end of my 11th grade year). I wasn't aware of this until just the other night when she told me. We would constantly fight ect..

We continued going out until the end of my senior year in highschool.. Up until then the relationship had been a rollercoaster, we would have a great time and then the next day or even next hour we would break into these huge fights. She is completely unpredictable when it comes to things that get her mad, and she doesn't let it go and continues fighting until I give in or until we have a huge screaming match(things have actually gotten physical, but not lately.. She's blocked doorways when ive tried to walk out of a room, grabbed me, pushed me ect..I mean i'm much bigger than her and I would never hit a woman so it just really hurt me emotionally when she would do that because I had no way of defending myself).

I wound up just telling her that if things didn't change then I was going to have to end it. The weird thing is ... she didn't do the crazy things she used to and she actually changed, but to me it just seemed like a complete act. I knew eventually she would just go back to her old self. After about two weeks, my feelings just started going away... We went through so much together that I still cared about her and loved her, but I didn't love her as a boyfriend and we just didn't have that spark anymore.

I wound up breaking up with her at the end of my senior year and she didn't take it very well. She began stalking me and wound up being suspended from school and nearly needing a restraining order.

Anyways.. I just became very lonely once college came around. All of my friends went away or moved, and the people I worked with weren't the type of people that I would have enjoyed hanging out with. I wound up calling her and wound up dating for a few months and began going back out this NewYears Eve. Things were fine for a while, but she slowly began to start up with her old ways again. I'm constantly walking on glass with her. I never know what I'm going to do next that will set her off. Even if I'm completely right, everything somehow turns around on me. I'll do the most romatic things for her and treat her great, but she will always find something to fight about.. even on special occassions and holidays when I put so much effort into making her happy. So when I treat her good she starts in, when I just get fed up at her and stop taking her BS we fight.. It's a lose lose situation always.

So basically things have been hell lately and that spark is gone once again. She called me up and expressed how she hasent been happy lately, so I basically just let her know how I felt. Told her that my feelings have started to change because of the way she's been acting ect.. Just to show the way she acts... once I said I was feeling unhappy about our relationship, she immediately manipulates the situation and says "The only reason i'm unhappy is because I have noticed that you have been unhappy lately", which I feel is utter bull sh.. The crappy thing is that today is her graduation and she basically gave me an ultimatum. I have to call her in the middle of the day today and let her know if A) I love her has a boyfriend and not simply as a friend. Or B) I don't have those strong feelings for her anymore. If I choose B, it will destroy her and her graduation. So its a pretty crummy situation at the moment.

I forgot to mention about her parents... Ever since we began dating again in september of this year, her parents have not wanted anything to do with our relationship because of the way things happened with her being suspended and everything. They don't want the same thing to happen. Her mother just simply does not want us together. Another issue is that I don't really talk about negative things about my relationship to my parents so their in the dark about all the fighting and how unhappy I am ect.. So their dissagreeing with what im doing because today is her graduation and in a few weeks its my sisters wedding, which my girlfriend baught a dress for already. Of course now that things have gotten to this point, my girlfriend is acting completely sincere and apologizing and telling me things are going to change.. I mean I love and care about her, but it doesn't feel like I love her more than a friend. One side of me doesn't want to lose her because she's basically all I have and i've spent the last 3 years with her and she's basically a part of me. The other side just wants to end things and experience new things in life. I mean she is my first and only long term girlfriend and the only girl I have been intimate with. I just feel like I have lost it for her... I don't know whether I should end it or just suck it up considering today is her graduation.. Any advice would be great. Thanks a lot for reading this. I know it sounds confusing and is arranged fairly confusingly.. but thats because i'm confused myself.

[Only-virgins]

Ill just wait for Frasbee to give you some advice on making things a bit easier to read. He seems to take it on himself to do it all the time.

[Jman7]

Ill just wait for Frasbee to give you some advice on making things a bit easier to read. He seems to take it on himself to do it all the time.

I'm sorry, im just in such a confused and nervous state. I'll try to fix it up.

[Only-virgins]

I'm sorry, im just in such a confused and nervous state. I'll try to fix it up.

Oh, you spaced it..thats good enough. . You can really start to pass out if you read something long that is bunched up together...I am sure you know what I mean.