Longing to be loved

[Hooo!]

I'm telling you that your Humor is disrespectful at best

[pcmaster]

Thats what she told me too - I wont meet you cause you dont respect me.

[Hooo!]

well exactly.
I have told you this weeks ago. You have attitudes towards women that are not working for you. This shows in your humor and leads to disrespectfullness.
The humor and disrespectful behaviour are not the cause. They are symptoms (in my humble oppinion)
If you want to grow as a person and if you want to have lasting success with women I suggest for you to identify and change those attitudes/limiting beliefs.

[pcmaster]

Thanks for the tip [MENTION=85121]Hooo![/MENTION] I been reading about limiting beliefs and think I have indentified mine. Now just need to elimanate them. Few years ago my limiting beliefs was way stronger and it was impossible to progress with girls cause I been thinking that no girl likes me and if some do then they actually dont like me cause they dont know it yet. Now its much better and I had some good experiences to think diferently now.

[Hooo!]

Do you want help with identifying and rephrasing and reframing your beliefs?

[pcmaster]

Yes sure I want help ! Why not?

[Hooo!]

As you write it down, what exactly do you think is true about women, relationships and yourself in regard to both of them?

[pcmaster]

I been thinking about this for few days and many different things come in my mind [MENTION=85121]Hooo![/MENTION]

But one thats been there for years and was the strongest and still exist in my mind for some degree, but not as strong anymore is that I been thinking that every guy even the average looking ones are much more better looking than me and that even most ugly and crazy girls have wide choice of guys especially on dating sites. I been thinking that girls dont like me and if they do like me then they actually dont like me its just they dont know it yet. Its like when girl dont know the guy she might use her imagination or think that guy(me) is a guy by average standards and find me interesting as a guy while she dont know me yet.

Also besides all that I think that I might look okay but only until I open my mouth since Im not a big talker and not really interesting person. Even when I considered myself better looking than average guys in my teens this was worrying me the most - that I look more interesting than Im actually are from inside.

What I think about girls now is that they want a ready guy to settle down and have kids with. Especially now when Im and the girls I date are in mid and late twenties. I find that girls want guy with drivers license/ his own place to live and good paid job. Basically I think that they want someone at their level in regards of these things. So yeah I think attraction needs higher value and by no means lower value.

Also I think that girls care about sex a lot, even those who say they are not interested in sex or dont want to talk about it. If I turn on girl when we meet and leave her unsatisfied then I think thats the last time we meet cause when girls wants sex and guy dont deliver it then guy is gone - cut out from girls life.

But what really makes me frustrated is that one sentence that girl dont like can end relationship or contact as well. You know what Im talking about.

They say that in order to take relationship to next level you have to treat other person than it treats you. Now I always treat girls and even my guy friends better than they treat me. But with girls I find that I have to treat them better just to keep whatever crappy contact or hope of relationship that we have. And literaly those few times when I couldn't take it anymore and treated girls the way they treat me - like talked with them the same way they talk to me - that was end of things, that ended everything. Its like once I stop taking shit thats given to me and stop giving my best instead and give just a little of what they give to me its when things end. "I want to be someones princess" - said the last girl I tried to meet. But im sick from putting girls on pedestial and treating them like princeses. I want something equal in relationship.
And now when I find myself to be happier on my own without all the frustrations and disappointments when desperately trying to create relationship, I find that I have a long way to go to become who I want to become and get all those things I want in my life. With a girl who believes in me it could be faster way to get there but I never met such girl who would have trust in me or patience to wait for things to be good or me to reach my potential. In fact I always see potential in girls but only my close relatives and work colleagues see potential in me, not some random girls I date.

[pcmaster]

So I opened a new topic and here im putting link to it cause I want everything to be on here in this Longing to be loved topic since it have all the history and its like my dating and love and happiness diary.

http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/100343-girls-fcking-mind.html#post1040546

[pcmaster]

So I been chatting with this girl for a week or so. Yesterday she messaged me first and we chatted a lot. She seems kinda crazy but shes in very good shape since she does fitness training for 3 years. And also she like computers and mobile phones just like me. She have a lot of gadgets and she fix them by herself. But I think I have more theoretical knowledge in stuff since shes been interested in computers 11 years but Im in PCs already 13 years.

Anyway few days ago I stopped messaged her because she said I have to go to her barber shop where she works if I want to see her. But I said I want a real date. And its funny that shes been dating with guys who are into computers or programming. I said that shes completly not in my taste since I been dating twice fatter girls than here like around 100kg. Shes a slim girl with muscles but likes chubby guys and when I showed her my pics she said yummy.
The crazy thing about her is that she is this good looking fitness type of girl but call some people rich just because they have more money than her. Also she complained about her barber shop colleagues that they are all females and I suggested her my ex classmate barber shop where most abrbers are guys and she said that is probably rich barber shop but shes a simple girl.
So yeah seems like this girl have low confidence despite that she have a lot going for her.

She recently won fitness competition where she held plank for 23 minutes. I just tried it and barely could hold myself in plank for 2 minutes, had to really push willpower. Thats just for compassion what a machine she is if average human can hold plank for 1 minute.

[pcmaster]

So update on this computer girl - she blocked me on FB.

I kinda felt like I rejected her when she said no one offers relationship to her. maybe she waited for me to offer her one?

But still I already told her from beginning - wheres point to chat when she dont want to go on a real date with me? But she said to talk about computers and exchange with experience. So we did do that a lot but today she called me user after I said thanks for her time.

Her last words to me before blocking -Yeah **** and I was hoping on relationship. Get lost user. Assholes everyone, just hope on them, herd of nerds.

Alright I had a feeling that she is crazy already from beginning but there was a lot of good things about her. Feel sorry for poor girl, I would have gone on date with her but she ended everything.

What you think guys about this situation? [MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] [MENTION=85795]GLYC[/MENTION] [MENTION=85802]Snow White[/MENTION] [MENTION=85848]WiltedRose[/MENTION] [MENTION=78360]lovemenot[/MENTION]

[lovemenot]

First of all, I work out a bit too, but holding a plank for 23 minutes!! WOW! She's really something.
I only read the last two posts, but I get the impression that she has more self issues than just low self esteem. Maybe she has burnt from some relationship in the past and just really wanted to take things very slow (talking about computers and just casually seeing each other at her workplace..) ant to get to know you before going on a real date. But then again saying that nobody offers her a relationship...Sound like she is not sure at all what she wants...At least that's the impression I get.
So she really seems very complicated girl and I wouldn't even suggest getting into a relationship with her even if there was such an opportunity.
It must feel sh** to be blocked by someone, but I wouldn't stress about it too much, I bet it wasn't anything personal she just has loads of her own issues, as you said yourself, she seemed crazy from the very beginning. So better just move on.

And also, speaking from my own experience, there's something very unpleasant and somewhat rejecting when a guy says "thank you for your time". It just feels like the guy thinks I am doing him some kind of a favor spending time with him and it's not a mutual happy-time together. I am not sure if I am explaining this right, but I can understand why she would say "user" after you said that. Hearing that kind of feels like the guy just used me and thanked me (because he is just very polite) and moved on. Or maybe just crazy girls think that (I am not the most normal myself;D).

[pcmaster]

Thanks for your insight [MENTION=78360]lovemenot[/MENTION] .
This really makes sense since I had a feeling that it all is not just my fault. Its interesting that you say saying thanks makes it look like a favor. Because I had a feeling if I say thanks to a girl then she gets a feeling like she have gave me something. And that kinda pushes away girl cause she felt like a giver, like higher value or better than me.

Also it makes sense that you say maybe she been burn from past relationship. Cause she pretty early on started to talk about her crush who she waited for 3 years. I did see that as a little red flag but didnt see it as a sign she been burnt and not ready for a new relationship. But yeah looks like I have dodged a bullet here. Your reply made me see clearer.

[lovemenot]

Glad I could help:] And about that saying "thanks" - it's just my personal feeling, so I thought maybe she felt similar. Would actually be interesting to hear what other girls think about this.

[WiltedRose]

So update on this computer girl - she blocked me on FB.

I kinda felt like I rejected her when she said no one offers relationship to her. maybe she waited for me to offer her one?

But still I already told her from beginning - wheres point to chat when she dont want to go on a real date with me? But she said to talk about computers and exchange with experience. So we did do that a lot but today she called me user after I said thanks for her time.

Her last words to me before blocking -Yeah **** and I was hoping on relationship. Get lost user. Assholes everyone, just hope on them, herd of nerds.

Alright I had a feeling that she is crazy already from beginning but there was a lot of good things about her. Feel sorry for poor girl, I would have gone on date with her but she ended everything.

What you think guys about this situation? [MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] [MENTION=85795]GLYC[/MENTION] [MENTION=85802]Snow White[/MENTION] [MENTION=85848]WiltedRose[/MENTION] [MENTION=78360]lovemenot[/MENTION]

It sounds like she's done it in temper to me, maybe frustrated? let her calm down she'll be back then ask her out?!

I really do hate online chatting/dating sometimes things come across in the wrong way and you have to talk about relationships and long term goals when you haven't even flipping met grrr it is best to meet asap and see if there is a connection etc

- - - Updated - - -

So I been chatting with this girl for a week or so. Yesterday she messaged me first and we chatted a lot. She seems kinda crazy but shes in very good shape since she does fitness training for 3 years. And also she like computers and mobile phones just like me. She have a lot of gadgets and she fix them by herself. But I think I have more theoretical knowledge in stuff since shes been interested in computers 11 years but Im in PCs already 13 years.

Anyway few days ago I stopped messaged her because she said I have to go to her barber shop where she works if I want to see her. But I said I want a real date. And its funny that shes been dating with guys who are into computers or programming. I said that shes completly not in my taste since I been dating twice fatter girls than here like around 100kg. Shes a slim girl with muscles but likes chubby guys and when I showed her my pics she said yummy.
The crazy thing about her is that she is this good looking fitness type of girl but call some people rich just because they have more money than her. Also she complained about her barber shop colleagues that they are all females and I suggested her my ex classmate barber shop where most abrbers are guys and she said that is probably rich barber shop but shes a simple girl.
So yeah seems like this girl have low confidence despite that she have a lot going for her.

She recently won fitness competition where she held plank for 23 minutes. I just tried it and barely could hold myself in plank for 2 minutes, had to really push willpower. Thats just for compassion what a machine she is if average human can hold plank for 1 minute.

23 minutes bloody marry her haha just kidding it does sound like she has issues is she a young girl?