What is my GF doing?

[Tarc]

Hi everyone

Roughly 3 weeks ago my GF and I spoke about why she is not relying on me for anything anymore. Later I asked her if she still wanted to move out? Now I never wanted her to move out...I Dont want to break up, I am not naive when I say that I know what "Moving out means" . But because I wanted to handle the situation like an adult and I also care and Lover her very much I suggested that I will rather move out so that she has the security of our current home with all the appliances of which some are hers.
She had tears in her eyes and said that she did not want to break up but just get some space. She said she always feels alone and asked me how I feel about going separate ways. I told her its scary and I dont want to do it there is just so much to lose. Then she replied with " I feel relieved ".It broke me into a thousand pieces to hear that. I dont want to blow my own boat but I do EVERYTHING for her in terms of comfortable living and pushing/enabling her to progress in life. She had a very bad childhood so she did not have to much when I met her. I NEVER judged her for her bad childhood because I also experienced bad things and I understand her quirks in most ways. I know we love each other vert much because ive told 3 of my friends whats happening and they said there is no way. If one looks at the way she looks at me you can almost not believe someone loves another person that much. I am afraid I have poked my relationship it with a stick and continued to poke it unknowingly. I told her I understand and I am fully on board with not breaking up. We love each other very much but the last couple of months have been a very rough ride for our relationship partly because of really hard core stress that I seem to cope with ok BUT I also could have done more in the time and attention department. The stress made me blind and things passed me so quickly. My mind was always somewhere else. I am soo sorry for that and I do not know what to do. We have been dating for 3 years of which 2.4 or so was really good. I work very hard and it sometimes gets in the way.

Soo since I have moved out she became silent and somewhat rude. She will sometimes not reply to my messages and it hurts. The most devoted person I had in my life now ignores me.
Soo I moved out a couple of days ago and I live and pay for a very shitty apartment and I told her not to worry about me. Its cold here and its very uncomfortable.
From the first day I never nagged her or begged her and I am not a nuisance towards her. I have done some silly things while drunk but thats normal for a guy in my position.
Problem is in front of her friends she puts up this wall that there is something wrong between us. But when we are alone she is much more open to kissing and embracing HOWEVER the last week I could not hold her or touch her she would let me know she is not comfortable.
So then I wrote her a very well worded letter really from the deepest pits of my heart. NOW Please keep in my I AM NOT an emotional guy at all. That seems to be my strength and my weakness. So writing a letter was very new but I did it anyway .
After the letter she replied with hugs and kisses and shes a bit more open to talk to me. When I phone her she would still put me second in line after what ever she is busy with.
Is she maybe punishing me for the way I made her feel?
Is what I am feeling maybe what she felt?

The other night I went to my house which is where she lives and I asked her to go for a walk. She did not hesitate at all. Jumped up got her things ready and out we went. We didnt walk too far before finding a bench. We sat down and she told me of her bad weekend night out she had. I told her I am very sorry to hear that. Once she was done talking I told her I got a new job that pays very well and I also had a fight with my boss. Felt amazing. We sat there for about 30 minutes or so. Then we went back home and I asked her if she could teach me to dance? She is a very good dancer soo there we go. We danced and I obviously made a fool of myself but there was allot of smiles and it was fun. Later while dancing she noted that we should just " Get our way of dancing together " . And we did. We danced for about 3 songs on our way which BTW Came very fluent and natural to both of us. Felt like it was just meant to be.
Then she said she is not into dancing anymore and I took her to bed. I asked if I can put some lotion on her back and I did and asked for lotion in return and she did it. Then said she is very tired and I can completely agree because it was a hard week for both of us at work.
This was the night I gave her the letter and she then proceeded to open up towards me a little more.

She told me she wrote me a letter in return. She also added that I might no like what I am going to read.
I have already proved to her that I cut back on some of my work even though my cash in a bit low now. Everytime I go to her I prove that I want to spend time and attention.

What else do I do ?
What is going on?
Is this salvage able?

Thanks

[Hooo!]

If you do everything for her and you work for her you are not paying attention TO her.
You have not pleaded you have not cried you have not fought for her
And you are even proud of it.
If you were a woman who needed her man to pay love and emotions and attention TO her and the man in question says:"I love you and it's no problem if I move out" how would you feel?
She tells you she is alone
And you proceed by not bothering her how shitty and alone you feel without her.
Instead you even go to work longer so that she has more money and comfort to spend
She only sees the man shutting himself away from her. She sees a man who is not bothered by her leaving. She sees a man who doesn't even trusts his woman about his feelings
And the worse it gets the more time he does spend at work.

Really: you have been a big thickhead
You have been an emotional stone
My advise is simple:
Notice how you feel then talk to her about it in length and depth
From now until forever

[Tarc]

[MENTION=85121]Hooo![/MENTION]
Ok soo pleading and crying will work somehow?
I AM fighting for her ! You think its easy to stay positive and do nice things without jumping onto her about the negative emotions that she cant help to feel?
I am not proud of it I do what I feel I must to give her space!?
I want to change the " I am alone " trust me! But how do you suggest I do that when she does want to be nagged and want to be left alone?
I am being strong and doing nice things every third day or soo just to show her I am trying to spend time and attention. I Am not proud of any of this I just want to do the right thing and have a healthy loving relationship!

Last time I checked if someone wants space.... they really want space and you have respect that? Am I getting something wrong here?
I Appreciate the honesty and yes I know I have been a real "thickhead" but I am NOT a MONSTER! She knows that I care and love her move then any man will with all the shit that she comes with!
I am an emotional stone I can not help it. I am very logical and I find it hard to relate emotionally in the moment... soo thats fair but I am trying.