Incorrect Beliefs About Women

[BrandonCodi]

The reason I'm posting this in "Ask a Girl" is because everyone in this forum wants to know more about girls. So this information applies to you. It's a big post so stay tuned until the end.

Some harmful, unhelpful beliefs about women include:

Women only want...

• White guys / black guys / whatever guys
• Rich men who will buy them stuff
• Broke vagabond losers with nothing to their names
• Gorgeous, Adonis-like men
• Hollywood celebrities
• Men over 6'5" (or whatever height you aren't)
• Men with giant anaconda penises
• Any fill-in-the-blank thing that you yourself are not or don't have

Almost all of these are immediately invalidated by looking around your city or town*without*blinders on. It takes all of 4 seconds to look down most city streets and find 5 to 10 couples in the immediate vicinity who are whatever race, not rich, not poor, not gorgeous, not celebrities, not super tall, and don't have giant bulges bursting the stitches on their britches. Stop giving yourself excuses to fail.

Women on the street / in the store / at the club...

• Don't want to be bothered
• Are too busy to talk to anyone
• Will only talk to you if you're perfect
• Will blow you out if your approach is not perfect
• All have boyfriends and are off the market
• Some other reason that precludes approaching

These are quickly invalidated by going out to any of these places and doing 20 approaches. You might fail hard in some of these - if you're having an off day, or you're a pure beginner, you may even fail hard in your first 10. But you're*pretty*unlikely to have all 20 go against you if you go do 20 right now, even if you have no idea what you're doing. Sure, it happens sometimes - it happens to me - that's just the luck of the draw; but as you get more and more attractive, and better and better at approaching and engaging women, you're more and more likely to have more and more of those 20 respond favorably... or VERY favorably. Stop giving yourself excuses to not approach.

Women are all...

• Attention whores / status harpies
• Cheaters and unfaithful
• Liars, scoundrels, and thieves
• Bitter, tormented feminists who hate men
• Emotionally manipulative puppet masters
• Parasitic creatures that feed off men
• (insert slight implying women are bad, bad people)

Any and all of these are immediately invalidated by a friendship or a relationship with a non-crazy woman. That is, the majority of women you meet in places other than mental wards, nightclubs, parties, and online dating. Stop giving yourself excuses to sit in the corner and be a bitter victim complaining about his tragic victimization at the hands of those horrible people with vaginas.

If You Have Poisonous Beliefs About Women

... you need to change your actions and/or environments.

Most of the people I meet who have poisonous beliefs about women either:
• Never actually MEET any women and truly interact with them (all their views come from other men / websites / articles / etc.)
• Keep meeting the same kinds of women in the same environments again and again and not realizing that that's the problem
• Continually put their baggage onto women and turn women into exactly what they fear / suspect women are
The last one is the most tragic - it's the guy who's SO CONVINCED that all women cheat that his endless paranoia drives his woman crazy... and drives her to cheat, often with a thought of, "Well, he never believes that I'm not cheating on him anyway, so what's the point in not cheating?" Or, it's the guy who's SO CONVINCED that women don't like him that he gives off waves of coldness and aloofness around those types of women that make them run for the hills. He smacks every woman he meets in the face with his baggage, and when she reacts to that, he points at it and goes, "There - SEE? All women are like that. Told you."

For most men, poisonous beliefs are changed when you change the environment you're meeting women in (and get out of poisonous environments you find yourself in that color your views about women in a negative way), and when you start actively cultivating meaningful relationships with sane,*normal*(e.g., non-party girls / online daters / crazy chicks) women.

For a select few, the baggage is so bad that it taints every interaction and relationship the guy has, and the only way to fix that is by addressing the core problems of bitterness and victimization - if you suspect that might be the case for you, read these articles:

• Most Important Thing to Becoming a Lover of Women? Don't Be Bitter.
• How Victim Mentality Can Stifle Your Life – and Luck with Women

Most of all, keep this in mind:*any form of negative beliefs or bad thoughts means you're dealing with frustration and repression. The object mentally is to end up at a place of calmness and contentedness, where you truly understand the thing you formerly had poisonous beliefs about that messed up your Zen (in this case, beliefs about women), and you're able to embrace the thing, be unsurprised by its quirks, and love it with these or in spite of these.

Do you*love*women? Do you think they are funny, cute, and adorable, even when they are doing the things that piss most men off and make those men tear their hair out and gnash their teeth?

If so, you're in a very good place.

If not, don't worry - everyone who opens his eyes goes through a period of painful adjustment, but you're on the road there.

Cheers, brothers

[CleanCut]

Well, in my experiences woman are just PITA beings that don't know a good thing when it's right under their nose, but yes, there are a lot of things like this that guys think about women that make it more difficult to find a girl to date, but women are just very problematic and unrealistic creatures in general unfortunately. I certainly haven't found a truly honest and reasonable woman yet in my lifetime anyways...

[pcmaster]

Thing I know a girl who matches all your statements - she lives in next house and I dont talk to her anymore.

Anyway Clean I think problem with your experiences with girls are that you met them all on dating sites. Really not the best place where look for girls since they are mostly troubled there and thats the reason why they are on those sites cause they have so many problems.

I think thats my problem as well and right now Im looking for transition to go from dating sites to real life interaction with girls - with girls who are not on dating sites.

BTW Brandon I watched your video about picking girls in suit and I liked it. Subscribed. You seem like real pickup artist but unfortunately you cant have links in signature. Eventually this leads to ban. Just dont want you to get banned man.

[Hooo!]

those are called limiting beliefs
and people have a lot of them

widely known are limiting beliefs about women, men and rich people and money

and the thing is that if you believe women to just be ... (pita or whatever)
then your brain will look for however long until you find another thing that fits in that category and you will be like: "HA! there it is again!"
Limiting beliefs tend to be self fulfilling and recreational.
This is due to your unconcious mind.
If you believe the earth is flat then you look for 100 things and file those in the category - strengthening that belief.
if you believe women to be evil or cheating then you will look for evil and cheating women to confirm that you are right.
and this happens automatically.

Its like you think pizza tastes good. But we all had that shitty pizza that tasted like paper.
but still you think its good. because it can be good.
its the same process but with a positive belief.

[Titanll]

Some of the things that you posted as incorrect beliefs are, I'm pretty sure, simply choices that some women make. I know women that date only white guys. So the belief that they date only white guys is correct. And why shouldn't they and everyone else date by making choices for themselves?

As far as believing that women are PITAs as one poster does, that may be your experience but not mine. I certainly don't think it has to do with meeting them on a dating site. If you have good luck in meeting women in person, why do you need a dating site? If you can't meet women in person, a dating site damned sure won't help.

I get the concept of "if you have a hammer in your hand, everything looks like a nail" but sometimes, it really is a nail.

[CleanCut]

Well, for me online dating is about my only option as my day to day activities never put in contact with any single women, believe me on this one, I tried going out to meet people at events and fun places and such, but have simply never found a dateable girl among the "general public". After starting to talk to them, they are either not single or have other issues that make them not dateable to me. Online dating is the best way I know of to filter out the undateables for me.

Don't get me wrong, I have had some really great experiences with a few women I have met online, but decent women are just way too few and far between. I've literately dated hundreds of women over the last few years and most are just simply crappy, dishonest, and unrealistic people. There is just such a much larger percentage of crappy women than there are good ones, so the search to find any sustainable good ones is just ridiculously difficult. That's why these kind of perceptions about women develop and why so many guys just give up the hunt period.

[lovebroken]

Most women like most men want different things from the opposite sex, in looks, attitude, job, and so on. I never dated any guy that was similar to another guy in almost ways. You just click with whomever in the moment and most people don't pull out a check list and decide right and there NO, not good enough most men and women take the chance on someone new and maybe different from them or people they past dated.

[Hooo!]

The problem is that you can either have beliefs that help you getting good results in your life or you can have limiting beliefs that hinder you to make positive experiences

[Titanll]

Well, for me online dating is about my only option as my day to day activities never put in contact with any single women, believe me on this one, I tried going out to meet people at events and fun places and such, but have simply never found a dateable girl among the "general public". After starting to talk to them, they are either not single or have other issues that make them not dateable to me. Online dating is the best way I know of to filter out the undateables for me.

Don't get me wrong, I have had some really great experiences with a few women I have met online, but decent women are just way too few and far between. I've literately dated hundreds of women over the last few years and most are just simply crappy, dishonest, and unrealistic people. There is just such a much larger percentage of crappy women than there are good ones, so the search to find any sustainable good ones is just ridiculously difficult. That's why these kind of perceptions about women develop and why so many guys just give up the hunt period.

Not to hijack this thread but if you are meeting that many women and having no luck, I can make an assumption that you are part of the problem. Out of crappy, dishonest and unrealistic, only one of those is objective. Crappy and unrealistic are open to wide interpretation. I mean if you have some standards that you need met in a woman and you meet a woman that falls short of those, are you being unrealistic and crappy? And you may have some issues that make you undateable to some women.

What happened to the decent women that you met?

In the end, you are the common denominator. What do you feel that you lack that the women need/want?

[CleanCut]

Not to hijack this thread but if you are meeting that many women and having no luck, I can make an assumption that you are part of the problem. Out of crappy, dishonest and unrealistic, only one of those is objective. Crappy and unrealistic are open to wide interpretation. I mean if you have some standards that you need met in a woman and you meet a woman that falls short of those, are you being unrealistic and crappy? And you may have some issues that make you undateable to some women.

What happened to the decent women that you met?

In the end, you are the common denominator. What do you feel that you lack that the women need/want?

I know for a fact that I'm not the issue as I'm a very good and down to earth and fun guy in person, good job, own a brand new vehicle, live on my own, as well as always pay for everything on dates and not to mention very good in the sack too; everything a woman could want in a decent guy. All the ones that I did spend any extended time with and tried to start a good relationship with bailed out on me for BS reasons within a few months with BS excuses like "I found a guy that I like a little better" (Male translation: I was just leading you on for the fun of it and never really cared about you despite acting like I did) or "I don't feel enough chemistry between us" (Male translation: even though you are meeting all my physical and emotional needs, I'm not head over heels in "fairy tale" crazy love with you, so you're not good enough for me to keep) Just that kind of BS non-sense women crap that I obviously have no control over...

[Titanll]

I know for a fact that I'm not the issue as I'm a very good and down to earth and fun guy in person. All the ones that I did spend any extended time with and tried to start a good relationship with bailed out on me for BS reasons with excuses like "I found a guy that I like a little better" (Male translation: I was just leading you on for the fun of it and never really cared about you despite acting like it) or "I don't feel enough chemistry between us" (Male translation: even though you are meeting all my physical and emotional needs, I'm not head over heels in love with you, so you you're not good enough to keep) Just that kind of BS non-sense women crap that I obviously have no control over...

Since this thread seems kind of dead, let's keep it going.

So define a non BS excuse for not being with you? Is there an excuse for not being with that is justified?

I have ended relationships for similar reasons and I don't consider myself unrealistic. I simply will not settle.

You sound like that you would not only settle but you expect that from your SO as well.

I'm different in that I don't settle and sure as hell do not want my SO to settle for me.

It's a rather age old complaint from men and women. Your lack of success has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the everyone else. I can't make you a catch or a keeper but you can. If you are an attractive guy with a great personality and are stuck in some twilight zone of dating hell, you have my sympathy. Otherwise, you are a sore loser and refuse to look inward for the problem and as long as you do you will find someone to blame.

[CleanCut]

- - - Updated - - -

Since this thread seems kind of dead, let's keep it going.

So define a non BS excuse for not being with you? Is there an excuse for not being with that is justified?

I have ended relationships for similar reasons and I don't consider myself unrealistic. I simply will not settle.

You sound like that you would not only settle but you expect that from your SO as well.

I'm different in that I don't settle and sure as hell do not want my SO to settle for me.

It's a rather age old complaint from men and women. Your lack of success has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the everyone else. I can't make you a catch or a keeper but you can. If you are an attractive guy with a great personality and are stuck in some twilight zone of dating hell, you have my sympathy. Otherwise, you are a sore loser and refuse to look inward for the problem and as long as you do you will find someone to blame.

Wrong, women ARE the problem. All I ,and most any guy needs, for a good sustainable relationship is to find a girl that they enjoy spending time with and are both physically and mentally attracted to. That's all anyone should need, but for women it is simply just NEVER enough, they always bail on you if you are not the "one" perfect god like being to them that they are instantly madly in love with, which is just f*cking ridiculous. Women are just full of non-sense ideals that no man can live up to, period.

I tell you, the moment fully realistic AI female robots ("living" sex-robots) come out, I'll be the first customer and just say F-OFF to all the so called "real" women and all their BS filled f*cked up minds.

[Titanll]

Haha! Like Cherry 2000 if I remember correctly?

Oh no brother, you and I are way on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

If any of this bitterness comes out in conversations then you are doomed. Women that I know would smell that shit a mile away and run. If it doesn't come out, how do you hide it?

We can go round and round all day long about where the problem lies but here's something that we can agree on: You're the one searching and, so far, have been unsuccessful.

It's really simple to me. If I were in your position, I would change myself, acquire what I lack for success, and be the god that women want. I don't think that you live in some mythical place that is full of horrible women and even if you did, you seem to want them to adapt to you and not the other way around.

The first thing I would do is drop any idea that you have about what others want/need. You know what you will settle for but you have no clue what I demand in a relationship. Making a blanket statement that most men or women want this or that is not only not going to be very true but it's unhealthy emotionally.

If you are a man of low dating/relationship value, it will certainly be an uphill battle but bitching about the mountain will not make it go away. What dating/relationship value is defined as is open to interpretation but men and women that have it are happily dating or in a relationship. Very few will stay single unless they choose to be.

Again, you and I are way apart on that spectrum. My dating value is more or less proven. And, in a sense, yours is as well. The difference is that I don't want to change mine and the verdict is still out whether you want to change yours.

You can certainly have a defeatist, victim mentality but most every woman of value will spot that crap and move on. I find it hard to believe that your attitude about women doesn't come out to them in some way. Changing that alone will probably do wonders for you.

And I ask again, what value do you bring to a relationship and what do you need to improve upon to be successful?

[CleanCut]

Yes, exactly! Cherry 2000 is the only real answer to solve the "women problem"!

There is nothing to change about me as I said, I'm a very good and very positive guy in person that deserves a good relationship. The only real consistency of the issue is obviously that I'm dating women, I'm not typically one to generalize people, but at this point I have dated enough to safely say with utmost truth that most women are just not in the right mind set for having a decent realistic relationship and have unobtainable ideals about the man they want to end up with that just leads to them blowing off perfectly good guys that in reality could make them 100% happy.

[Titanll]

Ah, I get it, you're not very attractive. You either realize that and soothe yourself by saying women have unobtainable ideals or you don't realize it and soothe yourself by saying that women have unobtainable ideals.

This is a fairly typical reaction: Women have no idea of what they want because they don't choose you. Well actually they do. They want someone that checks all of their boxes and pushes all of their buttons. Regardless of how shallow or deep you think someone's desires are, you don't get to actually decide what those desires should be.

So humor me, what are the reasons that you are rejected? And what are these unobtainable ideals that you have experienced from women?

I mean in the grand scheme of things, you certainly can and probably will find a SO that loves you dearly but saying that you "deserve" a good relationship and saying with certainty that you can make anyone 100% happy is simply naive.