I logged into my boyfriends CL account a couple days ago because I was curious to see if he was posting ads for other women. We've been through a rough couple months since I discovered him chatting with 2 women in Feb. The trust was broken and remained sketchy because he's withheld info from me about other important stuff too.
Shockingly I found 3 ads from 6 months ago listing himself as a CD (cross dresser) looking for "tonight". It said he had a wig, corset, fills, stockings and makeup. That he was all dressed and ready for "you". We were dating during this time and he posted it 4 times that month around 11pm.
I also discovered 1 ad from a year before me looking for first time male experimenting. Followed by that was another ad a month later advertising is virgin ass looking for someone smaller to **** him and he may possibly do the same. He mentioned that he exchanged bjs once before and it was fun.
I gently informed him that I found the ads, saying I wasn't judging and he has nothing to be ashamed about. He immediately wanted me to leave and went into a weird trance state like he was going to pass out and kept saying "just leave" with his hand up for me to go, pacing around.
I gave him physical distance, kept talking softly and he eventually snapped out of it. He got in the shower, I took a seat on the toilet top and waited. He started with "I'm not into guys". He said he wasn't attracted to men he admitted to exchanging bjs with 1 man and he said he felt sick the whole time and that it felt wrong. This is confusing to me because he posted an ad after that saying it was "fun" and he was now looking to get ****ed in the ass. He went on to explain to me that he was just curious and that he was interested in "pegging" and finding a woman to do that is impossible and he guesses the next route you seek is a guy to try it. He said pegging by a woman is the "holy grail" and it's hard to fine. That he was going through a divorce and was curious.
Then I asked about the cross dressing. He said he had bought a few things but once I started staying over more he threw them away so I didn't find them. he said he posted the ads late and thought he wasn't getting responses, he discovered the responses in the spam folder weeks later and he said they were all rude and nasty. I asked him if he wasn't into dudes then why put an ad looking for one. He gave me a confusing answer regarding "looking like a woman" and how it was different or something. I'm still not clear on his answer. I asked him what he was prepared to do if he had met up with someone. He couldn't say, he seemed unsure.
i was upset because we were together and that's still cheating regardless of orientation. My concern isn't his bi sexuality if that's what it is. My concern is if he's happy and able to be in a committed relationship with me and not exploring these cross dresser and gay tendencies regardless of him saying he's not attracted to guys.
I told him I thought it was hot that he was curious about a guy, we've had same room sex where I played with another female. I told him it was safe for him to do that there with me with a man, kissing etc. he said no, I don't want to kiss a guy that's gross. To me if I can touch the girl, he can touch the guy. He said no, he's not attracted to men.
My main concern is his ability to be faithful to me regardless.
please help me sort this I logged into my boyfriends CL account a couple days ago because I was curious to see if he was posting ads for other women. We've been through a rough couple months since I discovered him chatting with 2 women in Feb. The trust was broken and remained sketchy because he's withheld info from me about other important stuff too.
Shockingly I found 3 ads from 6 months ago listing himself as a CD (cross dresser) looking for "tonight". It said he had a wig, corset, fills, stockings and makeup. That he was all dressed and ready for "you". We were dating during this time and he posted it 4 times that month around 11pm.
I also discovered 1 ad from a year before me looking for first time male experimenting. Followed by that was another ad a month later advertising is virgin ass looking for someone smaller to **** him and he may possibly do the same. He mentioned that he exchanged bjs once before and it was fun.
I gently informed him that I found the ads, saying I wasn't judging and he has nothing to be ashamed about. He immediately wanted me to leave and went into a weird trance state like he was going to pass out and kept saying "just leave" with his hand up for me to go, pacing around.
I gave him physical distance, kept talking softly and he eventually snapped out of it. He got in the shower, I took a seat on the toilet top and waited. He started with "I'm not into guys". He said he wasn't attracted to men he admitted to exchanging bjs with 1 man and he said he felt sick the whole time and that it felt wrong. This is confusing to me because he posted an ad after that saying it was "fun" and he was now looking to get ****ed in the ass. He went on to explain to me that he was just curious and that he was interested in "pegging" and finding a woman to do that is impossible and he guesses the next route you seek is a guy to try it. He said pegging by a woman is the "holy grail" and it's hard to fine. That he was going through a divorce and was curious.
Then I asked about the cross dressing. He said he had bought a few things but once I started staying over more he threw them away so I didn't find them. he said he posted the ads late and thought he wasn't getting responses, he discovered the responses in the spam folder weeks later and he said they were all rude and nasty. I asked him if he wasn't into dudes then why put an ad looking for one. He gave me a confusing answer regarding "looking like a woman" and how it was different or something. I'm still not clear on his answer. I asked him what he was prepared to do if he had met up with someone. He couldn't say, he seemed unsure.
i was upset because we were together and that's still cheating regardless of orientation. My concern isn't his bi sexuality if that's what it is. My concern is if he's happy and able to be in a committed relationship with me and not exploring these cross dresser and gay tendencies regardless of him saying he's not attracted to guys.
I told him I thought it was hot that he was curious about a guy, we've had same room sex where I played with another female. I told him it was safe for him to do that there with me with a man, kissing etc. he said no, I don't want to kiss a guy that's gross. To me if I can touch the girl, he can touch the guy. He said no, he's not attracted to men.
My main concern is his ability to be faithful to me regardless.
please help me sort this out.