Married woman, my ex, both or none?

[derek85]

Hi, 8 months ago(august 2016) ended a relationship of almost 3 years with a woman older than me (let's call her A). The relationship was very intense although there were several breaks and I suffered a lot. A month and a week later(october 2016) I met a married girl (her husband is out of the country), (let's call her B) and we started a relationship that only consisted of talk every day on the phone and have sex once a week, sometimes 2 times a week, sometimes every 2 weeks, we always acted like we were dating normally, I mean, I promised total fidelity , I accept that in spite of her situation. When I met her I had a lot of impact and I suddenly felt I forgot to A. About a month ago I met A in the street and realized that we both like each other very much and I proposed her to have sex and she said I had to finish my relationship with B. Finally I finished that relationship a few days ago and I'm about to have sex with A. I dont know what are the intentions of A, mine are just sex and nothing else, I feel that I no longer feel love for her although she attracts me physically and I cannot continue wasting my time, I have 31 and I have no children yet. Here comes the problem, even without A proposing me to finish my relationship with B I wanted to finish it because I no longer feel good being with a married woman with so many limitations, I feel that physically I'm not attracted enough, I'm bored talking hours on the phone, I feel like I want to be with other women, but on the other hand I feel that I miss her, I feel something that I cannot determine if it is love, affection or pity and I feel guilty because she is very in love with me and very soon I will sleep with A of whom always B was terrified and from whom she saved my life, because I was very depressed until I met B. At some point I valued the possibility to stay with both but I felt that I was going to stress myself a lot because they both believed to be the only woman in my life. I have sometimes thought about returning with B I dont know if it is pity or love but on the other hand I realize that she does not belong to me, so whats the point?. Now it's difficult for me to retract with A, she's been waiting and we've had very hot messages. What do you recommend me to do?

[BrandonCodi]

B has a husband man. You have emotions involved and you're not thinking clearly. Where do you think things will go with B? Best case scenario she'll break things off with her husband to be with you, but do you really want to be with a girl who cheated on her husband? She'll do that to you too.

I think you should go with A. It's not uncommon for relationships to end and then reform. When they reform they are better than they were the first time because both parties are more willing to put the effort in to changing to what their partner prefers. The reason they break up in the first place is usually because of lack of emotional connection, lack of communication, or suffering in the bedroom. You and A have most certainly discussed these problems before and if you are able to get back with her, you have to make it clear for each other why it failed the first time and that you want to prevent that from happening again. So you discuss the problems and don't repeat them.

Don't continue things with B. You're being a scumbag by helping her cheat. She really should get a divorce at this point.

Cheers, brother

[Hooo!]

I do not understand yet what exactly you want?
What do you want?

As a general advise: you are free to be with as many women you like unless you lie about it (keeping it intentionally quiet) or unless you agree to be exclusive