Relationship Red Flag Stories... share them here?

[dollhouse]

I was talking with some of my girlfriends and it's weird what you don't think of as anything and then when you think and look back you realized Holy Shit that was a HUGE!!! red flag ...what was wrong with me ignoring that..

One of mine was ... gave him my cell phone # almost from the get go and .... waited and waited and then nothing... then I got his mom's home phone number ( we both lived at home during that time, only he was a few years older but was going to uni and saving money) but I never wanted or ask for his mom's phone number ...I wanted his cell# like I gave my cell number.

One girlfriends was... he always bitched about a certain female coworker, and she later found out he made out with her, possible sex too during after work late night drinks...while she was dating him.

[pcmaster]

Now when I think about it then I seen some red flags in previous girl I dated.

1. She was talking about her ex already on first date.
2. She was the only child in family.
3 . She lied even to her mother about her wrreabouts when she was with me.
4. She lied to me too.
5. She had FWB who send her flowers while we were dating.
6. She changed her mind often and couldnt decide what to do together and canceled, changed plans in last minute.

[melancholia]

Red flags for me are drinking and hard drug use. If that person is always drunk/drinking when I see them, or if they use hard drugs, it's a red flag for me. Any kind of controlling behavior is also a huge red flag for me.

[breathe123]

Thought one was gay, & turns out his was & deeply so he thought closeted at the time & I gaydar'd it with some red flags he gave off.

Had a guy not let me EVER meet his family, and almost none of his friends ~ like never even though he met a lot of mine. Turns out he had two gf's, what a prince charming. LOL ~ not!

[melancholia]

Interesting, [MENTION=78034]breathe123[/MENTION] my ex was the opposite. Throughout the 5 years we were together he met my family a handful of times and almost never spent any time with my friends, while we always hung out with his friends and family. I am close with my family so it became a huge issue for us and was a big factor in our break up.

[lovebroken]

There was one guy who wouldn't ever talk to me around his friends. Said he didn't want them to hear him privately talk, more like didn't want whoever he was with to hear a girls voice on the other end, one that sounded romantic towards him or even for me to hear the same in the background if he was with others. Cheats go above and beyond to hide their cheating ways.

[dollhouse]

Thanks to all who posted so far... Can add as many as you'd like from your own experiences or male/female friends experiences.

I had one guy always me a "me too" type... everything I did as a child, teenager, places I went, things I thought, even a health issue HE ALSO had, felt or did. Huge red flag to me as someone desperately trying to make me think we had more in common than we actually did. Hate liars so his actions set off red flag and alarms to me. Lots over time proved his was indeed a liar but I was no longer even friends with him by that point.

[lovebroken]

Had one who wormed his way in on my grief of a loss of a pet, saw an opening and took it and I was so sad over the loss I let it happen when I realized I got out as they say. They didn't care about me only wanted a notch or add to their ever growing list of conquests. What type of person plays on anothers grief?

[Jffs24]

Had a revolving door on men -- high turnover rate.
Loved the drugs a bit too much -- became a big problem even though constantly denying any problem the whole time.
Their family talked bad about them.

[breathe123]

[MENTION=81312]melancholia[/MENTION] ~ what reason in your 5 years together did he give for why he barely ever spent time with your family? I am close to my family too & that would bother me too especially if their wasn't a good explanation.

[dollhouse]

Had a guys home phone number always ring through never connected and his answering machine which should have picked up...didn't pick up. Even if at work or when I knew he was out. He claimed his hook up was busted where it connected to the wall and that was why WTF lying sack of shit... and I had to " give advance " ..notice when calling so he could " fix" the line connection in the wall. Yeah.

[TheEvilJester]

For me, one thing can be somebody who complains A LOT. Like, in other words, they can't ever seem to just be happy. I've not lead the most happy life in the world.... but even I realize that sometimes you have to just stop and enjoy things. Life sucks.... if you let it get you down and keep you down then you'll never enjoy it because there will always be SOME reason not to be happy. So, sometimes you have to just learn to let things go.

The thing is, this one can be hard to tell whether or not it IS a red flag. I've always said there are two different kinds of people who complain a lot...

1) The person who complains a lot because they HAVE a lot of reasons to complain. This is the type of person who doesn't just complain over everything and nothing, who IS perfectly capable of being happy.... it's just they seem to have a lot of messed up $h*t keep happening to them, so they legitimately DO have a lot of reasons to complain. If their situation improves, they actually CAN enjoy things rather than just looking for a new reason to complain.

2) The person who complains a lot because they CREATE a lot of reasons to complain. This is the type of person who can just never be happy. They always have reasons to complain. Sometimes they seem like legit reasons, sometimes not so much. Then.... sometimes whatever the situation is that is causing their pain will actually improve..... but instead of being able to enjoy it, suddenly there is some other reason to complain. Some other bull crap drama going on in their life.

The problem is, sometimes that second type is really good at making it seem like they are the first type. Their complaints SOUND legit.... so it takes you so much longer to realize the fact that they somehow ALWAYS seem to have reasons to complain.... and then longer to realize that they are the cause of most of those reasons in the first place. Particularly sucks for people like me who actually genuinely want to be there for people for whom they care. That part of you makes you want to be there for them and help be part of what makes them happy.... and it makes you much more susceptible to getting sucked into their drama before you realize it.

[Exeter19]

had a gf stalk and contact an ex of mine for no reason since i wasn't even bothering with that ex at all. that made me go, this _____ is crazy, and i don't need that in my life. anyone who is that jealous for no reason i don't want in my life.

[pcmaster]

For me, one thing can be somebody who complains A LOT. Like, in other words, they can't ever seem to just be happy. I've not lead the most happy life in the world.... but even I realize that sometimes you have to just stop and enjoy things. Life sucks.... if you let it get you down and keep you down then you'll never enjoy it because there will always be SOME reason not to be happy. So, sometimes you have to just learn to let things go.

The thing is, this one can be hard to tell whether or not it IS a red flag. I've always said there are two different kinds of people who complain a lot...

1) The person who complains a lot because they HAVE a lot of reasons to complain. This is the type of person who doesn't just complain over everything and nothing, who IS perfectly capable of being happy.... it's just they seem to have a lot of messed up $h*t keep happening to them, so they legitimately DO have a lot of reasons to complain. If their situation improves, they actually CAN enjoy things rather than just looking for a new reason to complain.

2) The person who complains a lot because they CREATE a lot of reasons to complain. This is the type of person who can just never be happy. They always have reasons to complain. Sometimes they seem like legit reasons, sometimes not so much. Then.... sometimes whatever the situation is that is causing their pain will actually improve..... but instead of being able to enjoy it, suddenly there is some other reason to complain. Some other bull crap drama going on in their life.

The problem is, sometimes that second type is really good at making it seem like they are the first type. Their complaints SOUND legit.... so it takes you so much longer to realize the fact that they somehow ALWAYS seem to have reasons to complain.... and then longer to realize that they are the cause of most of those reasons in the first place. Particularly sucks for people like me who actually genuinely want to be there for people for whom they care. That part of you makes you want to be there for them and help be part of what makes them happy.... and it makes you much more susceptible to getting sucked into their drama before you realize it.

This reminds me video i watched yesterday. Tyler talked about people and himself that no matter how good life was at the moment were not happy. They also talked about opening about how to shift mindset. Also people who didnt try new things despite that there was great things out there.

https://youtu.be/TV6amxS9dvY

Think they talking about somewhere in middle of these 3 hours lol. Not your ussual 30 sec FB vid lol.

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, exactly. The kind of people who could have everything a person could want in life.... but they will never appreciate it. They want more, and if it's not handed to them on a silver-platter they have a fit like the world is just out to get them. I have no room in my life anymore for drama queens like that. And I am NOT saying that only women can be drama queens. Men can be even bigger drama queens sometimes. I don't have room for any of them.