My boyfriend and I are officially in a relationship for 6 months now. We were friends since 2014. He is one of my brother's closest friends.
I am his first girlfriend. I am 23 and he's 25. I do not know anything about his private or shall i say, "romantic pasts" because there was no one before me to begin with. But i am guessing he had flings before.
And what bugs me sometimes is his girl bestfriend. He sometimes mentions her, but not talk ABOUT her. We never really got the chance to talk about her, but whenever he mentions her, I can they were very very very close. To the point, that he is telling me how he was always there in their house, in her room, doing school projects during college days. How he would shave her legs. That time he bought her a dildo. Things like these makes me feel sick, that maybe just maybe, there was something going on with these two before. Because for me, that didnt sounded like just being best friends. Well, i dont know.
So, I am writing this to seek for an advice. Because clearly, i dont wanna get jealous over the fact that she is still in his life right now. I dont know what place she has in his life right now. I dont know how special she is for him. I want her out in his life like how a present girlfriend would want over his bf's ex. But that is just plainly selfish and immature, i know. And thinking about this drains me. And i am tired of not getting over it.
I dont wanna talk about this with my boyfriend because i just dont want to experience any awkwardness whenever she may be around or whenever he mentions her. I just wanna feel better. Help??