I open my eyes, the pain in my stomach stills there, every morning when I wake up, that feeling of strong worrying is there, immediately when I open my eyes. You know deep inside, something's really wrong, and that worries you, but you don’t know exactly what’s wrong.
Sometimes I take breakfast, sometimes just smoke a cigarette to feel something, when do I started to feel like this? I don’t know, I remember there was a time when I was happy, I enjoyed much more my days, funny how it works, everything is way much better since then, better job, better love life, but still, all that doesn’t stop me from feeling miserable. Even my music doesn’t sounds the same, I used to enjoy dating my girlfriend... At the beginning. But then I also started worrying about her, about not being good enough for her, maybe she will get bored of me.
I have 7 months dating this girl, and I am already bored of her, that’s crazy, she’s cute, she’s funny, and has this amazing way of being with me that’s lovely, I don’t see nothing wrong with her, but for some reason I think I can’t be aware of how good she is, there is something missing, maybe I don’t deserve her, I met this girl in my job, she makes me feel like my girlfriend used to at the beginning, that scares me, because maybe If I started something with her, the story is going to repeat itself, she’s going to bore me, maybe even faster than my actual girlfriend, so I decide to keep my actual girlfriend, she’s perfect for a long term relationship, i dont know...
April of 2016