not sure what to think...

[hursty08]

So recently i have been away from gf and kids for over a month now halfway across the country.. our sex life is 'meteocre' since we had kids but has been brought to her attention NUMEROUS times in the last year.. the gf recently flew out to see me for a few days without the kids! IT TOOK US OVER 48HRS into Our 96hr visit to have sex or her even touch me.. i hinted, i walked around naked (shes not one i can just throwdown and have my way) i didnt think we would make it back to the house from the airport without wanting eachother.... especially knowing i wont see her for another month..after a few nights of no physical contact obviously my heads spinning... i went through her phone.. ALL conversations deleted exactly 1 week before she flew out and on snapchat i found she had a guy from back homes username under a gf of hers name (like hideing it)
She has denied this and said that its weird his name was under hers blahblah... we did end up having sex a few times but pretty much had to bend her arm...

So all in all.... after a month she didnt have the NEED for me
She deleted her msgs before flying out and had a guy hidden under a girls name...

Just looking for thoughts advice as im loosing sleep here
Thanks

[melancholia]

The contact under a name thing is such an old trick. The deleted messages isn't as much of a red flag in my opinion, because I don't keep all my old messages either, but it's shady af to put someone else's name under a contact in your phone. At the same time, it could mean nothing. You have to talk to her about this and find out more information before jumping to conclusions. You need to talk to your girlfriend about how you feel and about the issues in your sex life, otherwise it will never get better. Maybe she feels unattractive, or maybe you don't do enough to make her feel sexy when you want to get down and she feels awkward. Maybe she's simply not in the mood. Having children with your boyfriend who works out of town would be very stressful, I imagine, and she may have a difficult time getting turned on.

Again, you need to talk to her about this and see where she's coming from.