In Love or In Life : Do you Forgive and Forget?

[topazlight]

I always did but no more. Some people took advantage and have turned me into a much more colder person because of it and I don't want to give unlimited possibilities to hurt me.

[lovebroken]

I sometimes hate that other peoples selfish actions can harden good kind people that can actually take away a good part of them and replace it. Too bad selfish people wouldn't get a painful shock instead training them to be more considerate

[breathe123]

Hehehe or for some drop dead on the spot because they are so awful ~ But yes, a shock would work well too

[megvoh]

I do and tbh hate myself for being so sweet and forgiving at times.
I feel guilty denying someone and it affects my own health. Ugh people.

[lovebroken]

The evil selfish people of the world don't have guilty consciences so nothing they do makes them think - ' maybe I shouldn't have done that because xyz ' - isn't part of their thought process, IMO but thoughtful people always consider how their actions play out on others.

[TheEvilJester]

Agreed. There are way too many people in this world who can never accept that they could possibly do anything wrong. In their mind, all of their (often plentiful) problems are the fault of anybody and everybody else. I've known far too many people like that to be forgiving at this stage in my life. I allow myself to move on and be happy again.... but I don't allow people any further chances to do me any wrong.

[dollhouse]

My mom had to forgive someone for hurting her years ago and it took a lot for her to do but she did it for herself and to put the past firmly in the past and stop looking at it... I don't think I have it in my nature to do the same if I was in the same situation. Proud of her though.

[TheEvilJester]

Is that someone still in her life? There's a difference between forgiving somebody really more for yourself and forgiving them enough that you actually let them back in.

Sometimes people do deserve a chance to be let back in.... but sometimes their offense is (or their many offenses are) bad enough that they don't deserve a place in your life anymore.... though you do still deserve to be able to let it go and move on.

Either way, though, good for your Mom. Never easy to move on when somebody you once thought cared winds up hurting you. It takes a lot of strength to bounce back.

[Jffs24]

I only forgive and forget with people I actually care about -- family. I can be hard ass about all others.

[lovebroken]

Hi again, [MENTION=70280]Jffs24[/MENTION]. Nice to see you back on here again.

[Jffs24]

[MENTION=77017]lovebroken[/MENTION] Thanks, hun -- missed your post last visit.

Not sure what I said previously on this topic but since then I have removed a friend out of my life -- no forgetting, no forgiving, just kicked out forever. I don't need a POS stinking up my life ever.

[lovebroken]

You're welcome.

Yes, sometimes you just cannot go back to way things were and cutting all ties is best for yourself, maybe not them but in the end you have to safeguard yourself first.

[richiro]

i don't think you can forget ever.
but you can forgive and let go ---probably the most important skill in life to learn...

[lovebroken]

I agree, do the forget and forgive for your own sense of well being and peace of mind not for the other person.